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Ship 2 Division 925
Hey everyone!
I just got the letter from RTC with Ashley's address and grad date (May 06,2011) Does anyone else have a future sailor on the same ship and division?
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Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by jc2mnm on
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I understand where you are coming from. I will pray that your daughter will come back to you. She will come back to you, hopefully sooner than later. I have a similar situation in my family. My oldest daughter was in her 3rd year of college and found out she was pregnant to her boyfriend of 3 years. Soon after she found out that he was seeing another girl and she was pregnant also. She got rid of him!! Whilke she was pregnant she met another gentleman who is 8 years her senior and they hit it off immediately. We thought this was a good thing. He wanted to raise this baby as his own. They got engaged a year later and he adopted our grandaughter 1 week before their wedding. Since then we found out he stole $14,000.00 dollars from his employer where he was a manager at & was fired. His 93 year old grandfather paid the money back. She gave him a secong chance (i did not agree with this). They had only been married about 3 months when that happened. They came to live with us since he was out of work. While he lived with us my youngest daughter's graduation money disappeared($700.00). Had no proof but we know he took it. Well we kicked him out. Again she followed him. Since then they had another little girl. He got a job and was employed for 9 months. New employer asked him to go for a random drug test. He refused. Well they fired him on the spot. Company policy for refusal of drug test. 4 months later my daughter came home from work and discovered HER checking account (His name not on it) was overdrawn $800.00. He stole 10 checks form her checkbook (in the middle) so she wouldnt notice. He forged her name and was cashing checks for drugs. She kicked him out. He went to drug rehab for 6 weeks. No job, no car lives with his parents but my daughter allows him to babysit the girls because she cant afford a babysitter. I cannot understand how she can be so nice to him after what he has done. So I kinda understand what you are gping through. I just pray she comes to her sense & sees what a loser he is. I cannot lecture her anymore than what I already have because I feel I will just push her right back to him & she would not let me see my granddaughters anymore. So here is what I do and feel you should do the same thing. I am there for her for when she will need me (AGAIN). I will help pick up the pieces and for her to move on. Just be there for her when she needs you. It might be when they hit rock bottom but I feel thats what it might take for them to see the light. I am sorry this is so long but I want you to feel free to talk to me when you need someone because I truly understand!!!
My thoughts & prayers to you and your daughter. I pray she comes back to you soon!!
P.S. Dont be embarrassed you did nothing wrong!! I always thought that too but I came to the conclusion that she is an adult and they are her mistakes and she will learn from them!!
Cheryl
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Permalink Reply by PoliceWifeNavyMom on
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Cheryl,
Thank you SO much. Knowing I'm not alone in this whole mess is a confort. My husband and I are just at a loss. She SWORE she wasn't talking to this loser. He is 23 now, works at Taco Bell, is verbally and emotionally abusive, all she did was cry when she was "with him" before, that was until we found out how old he was. He preys on young girls because girls his own age will have nothing to do with him.
She has 2 months of school left and has basically destroyed any chance of working for the police department, My husband (a detective with the dept.) had to go to her LT. and explain that she wouldn't be back. No warning, no notice. .She's abandon her cat who she loved more than life, her grandad is in poor health and she KNOWS how much these things upset him... no care or concern for anyone at all. I don't understand how she could totally walk away from a family that loves her as much as we do. She lives a good life here. We are by far not wealthy, but we do OK and she wants for nothing so long as she earns it... this guy is a total loser, lives in an aprtment where his mother works...
My greatest fear is that she will get pregnant. She had plans to enlist int he Marines, that's all gone... In less than 24 hours she shot her life to hell for a dirt bag... She is SO smart, and not just book smart, she has 3 years of minor police training and has even been trained to see through guys like this...
My dad thinks she will come back. To be honest... I almost want to tell her you made your choice, you chose him over your family now live with it. I don't know what I am going to do if and when the time comes.
I will be keeping you in my thoughts as well... Im so sorry your daughter is going through a similar situation and you too as the mom... this is really tough and it totally sucks.
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Shell, She will be back but not until she has hit rock bottom(unfortunately). Just be there when the bottom falls out and you are right about one thing if & when she does come back the only way she should be allowed to come back is with your new set of rules. If she will not follow then she will have to leave, I know it will be the hardest thing you will have to do but you will only hurt her by being an enabler! I know because when my daughter kicked her loser husband out she asked if she could move back home (with 2 little girls under the age of 2) it was the hardest thing I ever had to do but we said NO! She has to understand that she cant come running home every time something goes wrong. She is a married women with 2 children. She made her bed now she gets to lay in it!! We tried to get her to leave him right from the start but as usual I know nothing!!! Its so hard because I dont see my graddaughters as often as I would like to b/c that loser is there all the time babysitting and hes even there after my daughter gets home form work b/c he has to wait there for his MOMMY to pick him up. (He's 32 years old) no job, no car nothing!!! I am with you on the anger part. but you will go through all the stages of emotions!! I think I have been through all of them at least 3 times over her whole situation!!
I will continue to keep you in my thoughts & prayers. If you have a facebook account request me as a friend and I can give you my personal email, phone# & address so we can keep in touch. I want to make sure you are doing okay and it is nice to talk to someone who is going through the same situation. People really try to understand but they really dont until they have gone through it themselves!!
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Cheryl,
I know you're right. And it is hard, but every day it gets easier. Today, she sent one of her friends to ask my son to bring her more clothes because she "is out". My son told her friend to tell her to have the guy buy her more. Let's see him take her to Hollister, American Eagle, etc. and buy her new ones. He works part time at Taco Bell. I guess she should be lucky he can feed her. I see this as the first crack in the inevitable breakdown of this extremely bad decision she has made.
I told my husband last night, if she gets pregnant, that's it. No way is she coming back. This is going to sound HORRIBLE, but I am NOT raising her kids. All of her friends have babies and their mothers are raising them... I REFUSE too. I am finally at a point in my life where I can work on projects I choose at the pace I want. I can play in the dirt all day or design, my husband is dealing with serious health issues and the LAST thing I need to worry about is raising a baby. Not to mention the drama that will surely accompany this guy being in her life. Call me a bad mother, but each day I grow stronger, and hearing stories like yours and encouragement from the others was JUST what I needed to put tough love to work. I love her with all of my heart, but I have to do what is best for the rest of our family. I still have a 16 year old son who needs me and DOESN'T need all this crap in his life.
It sounds like you have been there and done that and you KNOW.... I am so thankful you're here Cheryl. You really have no idea how much you and the others helped last night.
What is your Facebook URL I will try to add you, It was giving me trouble this AM but I'll try again. My account is Facebook.com/ShellWasham
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Permalink Reply by Mom2aSailor on
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Oh Shell!! ((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((BIG HUGS TO YOU))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
I understand you being embarrassed, but you really can't put that guilt on yourself. We raise our children to the best of our abilities and we can't control the things they chose to do. She is 18 and you are right, she can make these decisions, whether they are good or bad decisions. :( My advice is to keep the lines of communication OPEN and let her know you and your husband and family are there for her... whatever happens. She needs to know that she can come home and turn to you for help if this doesn't turn out how she *thinks* it is going to. It won't work, we all know that, you just need to bide your time and pray that she'll come to that decision sooner than later.
My heart goes out to you. It is SO hard to watch our children make mistakes. But, it is also those mistakes that sometimes need to happen in order for the growth to come. IF you feel that she is in serious danger, I'd get some serious advice on what you can do to help her.
Sometimes our children need to learn the hard way.. I have a few that I think are going to have to learn the hard way, instead of listening to their parents advice. :/ I know I had to learn the hard way and make my share of mistakes.
In my thoughts and prayers,
Jenn
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Thanks Jenn {{{hugs back to you }}}}
I have to wonder if all of these young girls have gone totally nuts.
Unfortunately, our town is totally out of my husbands jurisdiction, but he is going to talk to a few of the deputies to see what, if anything we can do. Here in the south, it seems it's pretty normal for girls to run off and get pregnant at a young age...then, their parents raise the babies... NO CAN DO.
I'm going through the angry phase tonight... Honestly, if she called me right now, I'd tell her to live with her choice. If she does come back, there is a WHOLE NEW set of rules....
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Permalink Reply by fbt3loader on
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My wife shipped March 9th as well and is Ship 2 Division 925. She just told me about this website in her last letter and it has been very helpful. I miss her so much. She passed her PTF on the first try! I am so very proud of her.
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Hi fb!!
Welcome to the group! That is so WONDERFUL that your wife passed PTF on the first try! I'll bet that takes a HUGE load of stress off of her. What part of the country are you in? Will you be going to PIR? I think it's kinda cool that we have a husband here too!! HA!
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This site was like a life saver for so many of us. It just helps knowing there are others with kids, husbands, wives all in the same place. You start to feel like old friends and even family after a few days. I'm sure I speak for everyone when I say we're really glad you're here! :)
My daughter is SR Leahy, you can ask your wife if she knows her. She originally was classified with the PS rating but they reclassified her last week to CTT as the PS rating is being phased out to civilians. She took it to get in faster and thought she was going to have to do it for 18 months, but they told her last week she was being reclassified to the CTT rate which was exactly what she wanted to begin with.
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My daughter is SR Mosso. She is a section leader and is carrying the Oklahoma flag at PIR. I will ask her about your wife!
Cheryl
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I will ask her in tomorrow's letter. Fred
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FBT WELCOME! :) So glad you found us!! What is your last name, I'll ask my SR, my daughter, if she knows her. My SR's last name is Horst.. she'll probably know her as "the girl that gets all the mail"! LOL
If you have any questions, we are here for you!!
I miss my SR so much also, I can't imagine having to miss my spouse. You and aveomare, whose hubby is in this div., can sympathize with each other! :)
Thanks for joining us!Jenn
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