Does anyone have to make the choice School or him?

[Jasmine<3]

I've been going back in forth about going to school. And my family and friends are all for school, but I was hope that maybe someone on here been through this situation. My friends and family are only think about me and not about me and Dante future. If I choose to get married and go away with him I will leave school up to a year. But if choose college I won't see him till January, and that too long. Everything in me is telling to stay in school, but I know I will miss him too much. I already have to go the whole summer without him, the first one in three years. Even his family wants me to stay in school. And Dante tell me it up to me. I need help!!!!!!!!

[Tanasia (ship07Div171)]

 well im kind of in thre same situation .. but in a way not really. Im in college now but my SR is in bootcamp. have you ever considered doing both ? Sure itll be hard but school is soooooo important and im sure your boyfriend is just as importanat to you. If i were you i would give that a try

[Andi6109]

I would choose school. From what I have read from other gf's and wives, you need to find something that you love. You need to think about you in the long run. If you really want to be with him but have no college education or no skills to take with you, then when he is on deployment it will be hard to get a job and you may very well get bored.

 

I was already in graduate school when my sailor enlisted. I still had a year left (this past year) and will graduate with my Master's in less than 2 weeks. We talked about getting married when he got out of boot camp but I was so close to being finished he insisted that I had to finish school. And now we are waiting even longer becasue he wants me to be able to find a job or skill that I will be able to take with me once we get married and if we have to deal with constantly changing bases, which happens.

 

You can still be together...if you have a free weekend depending on how far away he is from you, you can go visit cuz in A school they usually get weekends free. Or he can make trips to see you. We are about 8hours apart right now...he graduated from boot camp in december and had some christmas leave so we got a week togheter then. And about 2 months later he came back to get some stuff from his parents house and buy his moms car to take back so I saw him then. And I had a long spring break so I got to see him 2 weekends in a row. The time apart is really a trial to see if that is what you want and if it is meant to be,and a way to see if you can handle the life of being apart.

 

It's not selfish for you to want to go to school and to actually do it. Trust me, I am so burnt out and ready to graduate and if I really think about it, If i had not done grad school immediately after my undergrad I probably would have never done it. So go for it. And take things one day at a time with your sailor. the distance will only make your relationship stronger...or it could hurt your relationship and if that happens then it wasnt meant to be. but you have to do whats best for you since he is doing what is best for him. honestly you will be happier in the long run...if you guys one day get married and he makes it a lifelong career. You will wish you had. Getting married is fine but do what you need to for yourself first. Marriage can come later. I admit its not all sunshine and roses. I have the nights that I miss him since we were living together before he went to boot camp. The distance sucks majorly but we have learned to really cherish and value the time that we do get together. so go for the school option. and see him when you can. that is my best advice

[sailors_girl24 (ship09/div 197)]

I'm with Tanasia. I am currently a freshmen in college and he is only a couple weeks into bc. We talked before he left and decided that I would do both.

It kind of depends on what your studying and if it's going to keep you busy. Otherwise I would wait until he has a homeport then maybe try to tranfer to a college near there. But don't quit school you need something to keep you distracted while he is on deployment.

Trying talking to your boyfriend about what would be best as couple. Then think about what you want to do with your future.

[dk4ever(2/945)]

I think im going to try an online thing that way i dont have to be far away or transfer again.

[Sweet*Southern*Lady]

You need to realize that even in a perfect world things change. Where do you want to be in 5 years, 10 years, and 20 years. If you ended up being single in fifteen years can you keep the lifestyle you were accustomed to with out a degree?

 

I wouldn't be with out my degree. I only had 1 year left to get my bachelors so we decided it would be more beneficial for us together and separately if I held a degree. I spend Labor day, Thanksgiving, Christmas, Spring Break and one week of the summer together. 

 

You need to make sure that you looking for you best first, then your couples best.

[Cait a sailors girl!]

What my unofficial fiancee (decided we are getting married yesterday but hes in boot camp so hasnt gotten down on one knee yet) and  and i have decided is that he will do his schooling and i will stay at my college. Once he graduates and gets stationed somewhere (we hope San Diego) We will get married and i will transfer to San Diego State University and continue going to school while he does his Navy thing! I love him so much so i can wait... And i need time to plan lol!

[Andi6109]

Cait, this sounds exactly like me! except i am about to finish college and am looking for jobs. but we are "unoffically engaged" we know we want to get married it's just a matter of when. and we think of it as the navy is his thing, and working is my thing. we see each other when we can, talk as often as possible, but are both trying to get through this part of our separate lives before we make it one life. i pretty much am doing exactly what you are

[Brogan]

Girrrl... When we transfered to San Diego (I am married) and I tried to apply to the school.. there was a yr long wait list for "non resident" students.. I've had my CA residency for 2 yrs but because I never graduated high school there or went to a local community college I was pretty much sent to the bottom of the list.. It's hard to get in. Even being a military member. I STRONGLY suggest Local community college first. You'll only pay $26 per credit hour and once you get an AA SDSU will automatically accept you :)

 

GOOD LUCK!

[SubWife2011]

I chose online school too.  It's harder but so worth it to not have to transfer anymore.

[mrshdge (SHIP 07 DIV 113)]

PLEASE go to school.  Absence makes the heart grow fonder.  My hubby and I have been apart for quite a while now (boot camp and now A school), with only two visits so far (It's been 4 months) but trust me, it's going to test your relationship and know that if you guys can survive that, you'll be able to survive anything.

One thing I have learned from being a Navy Wife for the past 4 mos is that there are going to be quite a few times while you guys are living together that you're going to be apart from each other (Navy is out to sea a LOT).  

So take the time to get your part of the relationship together so that it'll be one less thing you have to worry about once you guys get ready to settle.  Plus if you wanna have kids, the sooner you get school out of the way, THE BETTER LOL!!! 

[Jasmine<3]

I going to start looking into the online school first. And you guys are so right in need to stay in school. Just got to find away to meet in the middle. Then i would be able to do both. Another great thing is he'll be staying in Illinois for the next five months so we will be about five hours away. Just going to take it day by day for now

[Brogan]

Good Girl! 

I'll tell you.. I have been to 4 colleges already because of the military. It's hard to constantly transfer and I have had to change my degree multiple times because of it. In the end I decided online school was the way to go. I LOVE it. I kinda miss the classroom experience but taking classes online has helped tremendously because I can still have a full time job :) This way you will have time for your own dreams and still be a part of his <3