How do i tell my parents im getting married?

[Cait a sailors girl!]

Hi all im cait! Im 18 and my SR is 19.... here is my problem,

My boyfriend and i have been together for 1 1/2, we have known each other and have been best friends for 2 years and have lived together (in my parents house) for about a year. He is currently in boot camp and we decided about 2 weeks ago that we want to get married! We are planning on getting married next summer but i am so afraid to tell my parents. My mom has already told me that she is so happy that we are waiting to get married and stuff like that. I really dont want to disappoint them but i know this is what i want! He is my best friend and makes me want to be a better person. There is no one in the world that could make me any happier. Any one else been in this situation? what did you do?

 

[Virginia (Ship 2 - Div. 928)]

Congratulations! 

 

My husband and I are pretty traditional, so he asked my daddy for permission to purpose to me.  That's how my parents found out; though I'm pretty sure that they knew how serious we were.

 

Guess I'd leave all that to him... but like I said, I'm pretty traditional when to comes to stuff like that.  Boyfriends are supposed to talk to dads about marrying their daughters. :)

[mattsgrl]

I am in a some what close situation.  I am trying right now how to tell my parents(mainly my mom) that my bf and I got engaged yesterday and that we are getting married in October.  But I have learned that sometimes in life you have to do things that you want and not worry about others opinions even your families.  Now I don't live with my parents or depend on them in any way (money wise) and 23.  The one i would say is just tell them, if you know it is what you feel is right.  In my situation i have been engaged before so that is the awkward part with my family but i know for a fact my now fiance is the man i am suppose to be with.  Go with your heart, it has gotten you this far!  sorry if that didn't help at all!

[Angie]

If you are going to be a grown up and get married than you need to do the right thing and talk to your parents about what you are going to do.

[Cait a sailors girl!]

thanks everyone for your advice, i really appreciate it!

Virginia- because my boyfriend hasent officially proposed yet he will probably ask my dad. He has a lot of respect for him and recently asked for my dads number but wouldnt tell me why. I just would love a back up plan just in case the job is left to me.

Angie- i never said that i wasnt going to tell my parents, im not running off and doing this! My family will be at my wedding and i will will be telling them in about 3 weeks which is a year in advanced. I was just trying to figure out the right way to tell them.

[Virginia (Ship 2 - Div. 928)]

Oh good, Cait.  That'll set a really good tone for your marriage.  It's easy to overlook things like in-laws when you're first dating/engaged... You want him to make a good, strong impression on your father to set the foundation for a good relationship between him and your parents.  That's so good that he's more than likely going to speak with your folks!

[Virginia (Ship 2 - Div. 928)]

Though Angie makes a good point.  If you're transitioning into adulthood, then parental input is valuable but no longer the law (as it would be if you're their dependent).

 

I hate to throw cold water on everything, but it might be good to establish yourself as a more autonomous adult (i.e. living on your own) before you make big plans.

 

Hope that helps!!!  :)

 

[Stacy(Div 149/Ship 3)]

Hey Cait, well from what I read up there I'm exactly the same situation except me and my bf never lived together. We have our 1 year and 5 months on Tuesday. and I just turned 19 today and he's 19 also. We were also best friends for 2 years before we dated. Mine just graduated bootcamp April 29th. He's now in A school. We got engaged PIR weekend :) and It's been great so far! I didn't tell anyone until I had the ring on my finger. I was going to wait until I got back into town and tell them all in person but I was so overcome with excitement that I couldnt wait so I called and told them after we dropped him off for the night. Everybody was so overcome with excitement for me, all except my Father and older Brother. They still are hesitant about all this but it's been a week and I think they're starting to let it set in and accept it. They want me to wait a year or two to actually get married but I keep trying to tell them that's not a reality kind of option. Because I want to live with him after his schooling once he's stationed, so for many reasons the marriage needs to happen sooner than they want. But they are also starting to realize I'm growing up now and soon will have my own life with my fiance. 

They might be disappointed at first, but then they will learn to accept it and they will support you. If they love you, which they do, they will come around and be happy for you and support you and that's all that matters. 

I was a nervous wreck having to tell my family but once you tell them it's such a relief and then you can start the wedding planning and that is just so exciting I'm loving it!!

Let me know any questions you might have it seems like our lives are very similar now!!!

:)

[Cait a sailors girl!]

Sounds very similar! Im really glad i put this post up because most people have been very helpful! My guy is a nuke so our plan is to get married right before his last school, so in about a year then he will have 6 months before we actually move to where ever we are stationed. Im just so excited and happy, i just dont want my parents to disapprove. Like i said he lived with me and my family for about a year so my parents already look at him like a son im just not sure if they are ready to look at him as a son-in-law. I just want the next 17 days (until PIR weekend) to go by fast so i can finally tell them and get it all over with! when are you guys planning on getting married?

[deanacakes]

my husband and i had only been together a short time, but when he asked my dad before he purposed, he was so excied, only because we were waiting over a year to get married. but much like you, we wanted to live together, and ended up getting maried a month after the proposal. my dad was furious at first, bu realized i was growing up and we were going to do it regardless. weve been married 2 months and my husband will PIR june 3rd. my dad has accepted it and is really happy for us. just follo your heart, and it may take some convincing, but it will be worth it!