June BC Calendar

[MidwestMom]

Here is a calendar to keep track of when our loved ones leave for BC June 2011.  Stole the idea from the Leaving in March group!  I tried to go back through the site to get dates from those posted.  Help me keep it updated!  :)

Sunday	Monday	Tuesday	Wednesday	Thursday	Friday	Saturday
May 31                                     Laura H                                     HM Mom			1 WhiteMountain Soon2bWife	2 Mare1012	3	4
5	6 Paloma Twinspin Terri77 Toriimarie	7 LisaR&Amber 2/938 Dantes<3 MDS1962 JosFO122 AliceH51 Theraysmom Djrnova Edeli Lisavdz Susan	8 Nan 9/247 TCMagic Creative4u	9	10	11
12	13 Lisaladybug5 Momofkgw Natacha  BCMadness Lt'sMom12/251 Nadine Bobbijk3/250 Andyswife	14 HowiesMom Alwaysamom Mom4Life Jfutty1 USNavyMom Drew'sMom KSam2/939 1/2Heart2/939	15 MonkeyM9/255  ProudM10/257 VincentsMom  ElleBee & Brenlou 2/939 JaredsM9/254 MattsMomCo SailorCheco DansMom CindyL9/255	16	17	18
19	20  StPeteMom GoDerek10/262 PamB	21 ScottsM10/261 AmyTX Mbb10/259 Katiegail79  MomofaSailor Jvptx10/265 Jma2/940 Mom'o10/266 Clrcrossland Whatelk10/261 Cheryl2/940	22 Duhhuh10/267 FutSailorDav J&RMom10/267 Davesmom icutu22003 Pmbell02 BonnieRN NavyMom	23 Leahscottsdale NavyMomSandi Mom3k10/265 Janice	24	25
26	27 DannyCBCM Alex nycHM BtownS10/267 MikesM7/270 WestonM7/269 pmqcakes Balsuz7/271 OregonM2/273	28  Sharon HMwife!11/273 Kimberl11/274 Lili2/941 Patttea11/273	29 SlrBritty11/276 TexasLiz11/276 Relluv1	30

 

[LeahScottsdale]

sigh...20 days until DS leaves and wow what a great ride he is giving us these last few weeks (said with drippy sarcasm!)! He is being a complete Jerk! While I want to treasure these last days with him, he is creating a bad taste in my mouth and the strong desire to kick him out of the house. I ask him to do basic chores, he says No. He is harping on his little brother non-stop! When he does talk to me it is with sarcasm and rudeness. When he addresses his little brother it is with curse words and hate in his eyes. He is treating the dog better than he is us! Regardless of whatever emotions he is going through on getting ready to leave the house and start with the Navy it doesnt justify how he is acting around the house. I am SOOOO frustrated!

[Nan(Ship 9 Div 247)]

leahscottsdale - we had similar behavior a month or so ago.  He was so difficult that I was actually happy when he didn't come home from school on weekends or as soon as classes were over (I felt very guilty too).  I kept telling everyone to ignore the behavior since everything I read told me this would happen.  Suddenly, about a week or so ago it all changed.  He was calm, happy, and willing to listen to us again.  I don't know if it will keep up, he leaves this Monday.  All we can do is support him and understand his nerves and fears, it's not easy when you just want to open the door and put him out, I know.  I just need to know that once he leaves he feels he has a supportive family to come back to, and if you knew our crazy family that is quite an accomplishment.

Good Luck.

[LeahScottsdale]

yep, the guilty feelings are there..and i am trying..he is just making it really hard. And I am worried about how he is setting the tone for his relationship with his brother. Leaving his little brother feeling broken down and not loved and certainly not missed is going to break his little heart. Not to mention may really damage thier relationship in the future.

[Nan(Ship 9 Div 247)]

Maybe they can connect through letters once he's in.  That may be good for both of them.

[LeahScottsdale]

I hope so! Thank you!

[J&R's Mom]

Sam's Mom & leahscottdale - It is natural for our SR's to pull away before they actually leave.  Sometimes they do not even know they are doing it.  My younger son was not too bad before he left, but a read quite a few parents with the same stories that you have.  It is their subconcious making the break now so that it is not as hard for them emotionally when it comes time to leave.  My older son is never home now - he leaves in 2 weeks and spends every moment he is not at work with his girlfriend.  Try and remember that as hard as it is on us, it is even harder on them.  They are going to a new, strange place with no one they know.  We have each other to help get us through this.  My younger son told me that during the first week of BC he did not think he would make it through and when he called me at the 3 week mark, he really cried hard when he heard my voice.  Hang in there!!!

[monkeymind]

Something that really changed the dynamic in our home...he was behaving similarly and instead of me breathing down his neck trying to get answers and accomplish tasks I asked him for 1 solid hour of his time each day, after that I said I wouldn't bug him and he could do what he wanted without grief (no texting during that time either). He agreed and I just prepared a list each day of the things we had to address together. The interesting part was that when I limited the time he had to spend here he actually chose (that's the important word-chose) to hang around. Once I made it up to him, he wanted me to quiz him on the stuff he has to know for bc, he chose to cut the grass...it was bizarre but very nice. My son is younger so I can still throw my weight around a little.

Try it!

[Nan(Ship 9 Div 247)]

Thanks amberrose and ElleBee - She is a very nice girl and has been with my son for about 4 years now (I think - time goes too quickly). I think she's around 25 - I shoiuld know that shouldn't I. We don't live close by and she was away at school for much of that time so we don't see much of her. She's never made much of an effort to know us without him but we all like her.  I have told her about N4M several times so it's now up to her.  She has some personal problems and I think this is just too much.  I can understand how she feels and she has encouraged him but I just don't want him to worry so I hope she gets it all together. I will try to keep in touch with her once he leaves.

I'm sure we are not the only ones dealing with this.

[Nan(Ship 9 Div 247)]

Thank you ElleBee - I hope I'm not sounding like I don't like her or want the best for them.  I'm sure everything you say is how she's feeling - I was once a young girl with boyfriend problems - many, many years ago but I remember.  I am first and always a monther and my boys mean everything to me.  I will encourage her if she lets me.  I just don't like him going off this way since he already has so much to be nervous about.  I do know that it will all be resolved with time - I just want him, and her, to be happy.

[MidwestMom]

Sam's Mom -- Maybe you could ease your son's mind a bit by letting him know that you will check in on her after he's gone and then try to do it.  He'd have to feel better if your letters include info that you've called or texted his GF.

[LeahScottsdale]

Enjoy your time ElleBee! Take lots of pics!

[monkeymind]

I'm trying to see all of this through a wife's eyes and it's so very different, I can't even imagine it. As a mom you know your children are going to leave home but for a wife and especially children it must be very challenging.  My son has no obligations at all and I find this hard but to have bills and responsibilities- that Navy paycheck has got to be very important and the uncertainty of all of this-Wow. You are the hero too.