questions about husband getting deployed.

[Caityrose517]

*sigh... husband is in bootcamp and recently wrote me a letter saying that everyone these days gets deployed and it's almost inevitable for him. I guess I have no idea where that puts us as we planned to go and move where he goes. What is communication like? Where are some common places sailors are being deployed? I plan to call the recruiter but thought I would do some research myself. If you can direct me to groups or just any info also helps. Thanks so much.

[Lepus120724]

Hi Caityrose - Yes he will get deployed but it will be ok.  It's hard but you find ways to make it work.  You will be able to move where he is and stay there while he is on deployment.  Depending on where he is you may or may not have a lot of contact while he is deployed - it seems to all depend on what his rate (job) is, if he will be on ship or not, where he is going etc.  He still has A school and possibly C school to go through after boot camp though and after that they probably won't send him anywhere too fast depending again on what his rate is. It was 6 months before my husband was sent on deployment after C school and from what I hear that was pretty fast but he was needed to fill in for someone at the last minute.  My husband is currently deployed and I normally get an email from him every day and he contacts me on skype as often as he can which is every two to three days for a couple of minutes before he goes to sleep.  It all just depends though and there are always letters and care packages.  You find ways to make it work and it can even make your relationship stronger.  You just keep busy while he is gone and the time will go by faster if you keep if you stay busy.  There are really emotional days but it is ok and then the time that you get to spend together when he is home is that much more special.  You will be able to be with your husband and move where he moves.  You can also stay there while he is on deployment.  I'm here right now - we live in base housing.  The Navy makes sure that families are taken care of.   Don't worry too much just take it one step at a time.  Bootcamp is hard and you start to think about all of the things to worry about while he is away - you miss him so much.  How long has he been gone for now?  Just keep sending him letters and cards and encourage him.  He needs it even if he isn't the type to tell you so.  Tell him how proud you are of him and all of those things that you love so much about him.  He misses you too.  You will see him soon and it will be wonderful to hug him and have him back.

[Caityrose517]

Thank you!! This was so nice to hear. This is kind of what I anticipated. Also, how is living on the base? I am fairly excited to move as my hometown is a disgusting, mean, rude small town with everyone's nose up your skirt kind of place. I like to hear that there is contact like emailing and skype. I'm having a super difficult time with boot camp because first off, I'm a stay at home mom with only my 10 month old - so I'm not really that busy and the lack of communication and just receiving letters is super hard. After a phone call, there is a lot of relief and we both feel very satisfied but the letters are just not enough. I mean he had a job before he left that gave him a list and a deadline other than that, he was able to come and go as he liked and he used to wake up, go to work, come home for lunch and then come home for dinner and cuddle and spend time all night together and we've been like our whole relationship. We're just attached at the hip and it's rough. I really appreciate the response! If you feel like there is anything I should know please add!!

[Lepus120724]

Living in base housing is fine.  I feel like living on base makes deployments a bit easier because you don't have to take care of yard work etc.  I have enough to do with a full time job and everything else so one less thing to worry about is nice and the maintenance people are fast. 

Contact really depends on where your husband will be deployed to which often has to do with his rate and where he is stationed.  Do you know any of this stuff yet?  You might not as it is so early on especially where he will be stationed because he hasn't gone through A school yet.  Will you be going to where he goes to A school?  this most likely won't be the same as where he is stationed.  If you move there you have to pay for it out of pocket.  When you move where he is stationed the Navy will cover it.  I didn't move where he was for A school because it's only 2 or 3 months and it wasn't long enough to pack up everything and try to find an apartment or something.  He will have to live in the barracks while he is in A school unless he gets a brown bag chit.  I would recommend waiting until he is done with A school and finds out where he is stationed and then move with him.  He will probably be able to take a leave to move his family to his new station.  You may be given a choice to move yourself or have the Navy move you.  If you move yourself they will pay you to do it.  We did this - now we wish we would have had the Navy do it for us... it would have just made things much easier and a lot less stressful but we were moving all the way from PA to WA so if it is a shorter distance moving yourself may be worth it.  Your husband will learn all about this things as he goes through training and such.  From what I hear there are a lot of different situations and amounts of contact depending on if they are on ship or on land somewhere etc.  With my husbands job he will most likely never be on ship and he is able to contact me quite a bit - I get one to two emails a day and he is able to contact me on skype as well.  Time zones make it difficult.  I have skype on my iphone and it is always on while he is away - so he can contact me no matter where I am so I don't have to worry about being in front of the computer all of the time waiting.  Let me know if you have any other questions... I might not know the answer but maybe someone else will.