My Husband wants to join but he is having difficulty with his family

[Britt<3Corpsman Wife]

My husband is 31 years old and is really interested in joining the Navy. (we are meeting with a recruiter on wed evening) We have done a lot of research and spoken with a lot of people regarding this subject. Most of them are family members or friends who have been enlisted, and most of the feedback has been positive. My family is very accepting of his decision and are really excited for us. He decided he wanted to take this career path around March, that is when we told my family about the decision. He had gone and talked to a recruiter and the recruiter told him that he needed to lose a little bit of weight. Since he is now physically ready to join, he decided that it was time to tell his family of his decision. We told them at his Birthday dinner in the middle of June. At first it seemed like they were really accepting of his decision, which was really surprising to us. We told his siblings and the news trickled down to the rest of the family. (Aunts, Uncles, Grandma, Cousins)

 

Since we have told them his mom has sent him texts telling him not to do it. His brother that hasn't spoken to him in over a year sent him a text telling him that if he joins the Navy he is going to die. They are so irrational about the whole thing. We have given them paperwork on the Navy, told them about websites they can visit- like Navy for Moms. We explained the benefits of the Navy vs. the Risks. But they aren't interested in hearing any of it.

 

It is just really hard for the both of us because my family is so overly accepting of the decision and can't say enough good things about it. And his family is so negative about the whole thing. Does anyone have any suggestions or experience with this kind of situation?

[Anti M]

He needs to tell his family he loves them, understand that they don't "get it", and go on his path as planned.  He cannot allow them to hold him back, because they aren't advancing him in life any other way, are they?

 

Die?  We all die from something, he could be hit by a bus tomorrow.  

[Britt<3Corpsman Wife]

They are definitely not advancing him in any other way. His family is very 'different'. He has 2 brothers who are 28 and 21 and a sister who is 25. All 3 of them have no desire to leave home and/or get married. Sometimes I wonder how he turned out the way he did. He knows that he is making the right decision for us, I just want his family to be semi- supportive. I come from a family where if you get an award at school, everyone comes (mom, dad, sister, brother, grandpa) My parents always support anything I have ever done. It just makes me really sad that they are not supportive of his decision what so ever. He currently works as a pharmacy technician at a retail store... he could get robbed and shot by some crazy junkie. When it is your time to go, it is your time. Thanks for the input :)

[dk4ever(2/945)]

Anti M is right their reaction is just their way of saying they're worried for him once as they see him succeeding they'll start accepting his decision :) My husband goes to boot camp in two weeks and his family is still asking are you sure you want this? I cant believe your abandoning your wife lol his only response is i am providing and protecting her in the best way i know how. They're now putting a going away party for him but they're still really nervous.

[Jess_0411]

Ugh, my MIL did the same thing to my husband. And to this day she still guilt trips him about it. Actually, my husband's family sounds a lot like your husband's family. So I understand completely. Tell your husband to hold his ground. They will either come around, or they won't. But he needs to do whatever it is that will make him (and you!) happy.

[esther22ship02div932PIR7-1]

My husband joined a few months ago and we had a similar experience.  What it all came down to was my family had alot of military experience, and his did not.  Their tune changed really quickly and can't be happier for him now.  Just do what you know is best for you and they will come around.  Good luck!

[lissette2569]

i know where you are coming from. My husband graduates from bootcamp on aug 19. he and i had the same problem because his family (specially his mother) would tell me i am killing him for supporting his idea. i always think that if its something he enjoys and will benefit his future he should not hold back. He choose to go to better our lives and left june 22. i live every single day proud for my husband for taking a step forward with not fearing his family. if its something that you two have decided on i think it would be wise to do it. the family is fearing the worst because of the war and all the things that are negative of the military; however they will accept it and love him all the same. it will not be easy for you at first but once the training and all the rest is over you will forget his family and live proud of him. you must be very strong but it can be done. the advice i can give you until he leaves is surround him with positive people and if his family is negative distance helps. :) good luck! you can contact me if you need any more support.