Does it ever get easier?

[NavyWifeTrivette]

My husband is currently deployed. He has only been deployed for a week, but he has been away from me for two weeks. I knew it was gonna be hard, but I guess I didn't realize quite how hard. I try to stay in a good mood and stay positive, but there are so many things that keep reminding me of him. It seems like the more days that pass, the harder it gets. I try telling myself that even though each day makes it harder, that is one day closer to seeing him again. We have only been married for a month, and we only got to spend 1 week out of that month together. The day we got married, he had to leave to go see family in Kentucky. He stayed there for a week before he couldn't handle being away from me and hopped on a plane to come home and spend another week with me. We had one week together before he had to leave for Kings Bay. He was only in Kings Bay for one week before he deployed. We never got a honeymoon or a chance to be together just as husband and wife and now he is deployed and I can't even talk to him. I keep trying to find things to occupy my time and keep my mind off missing him, but it doesn't work. I still keep thinking about him and how much I miss him. To make matters worse, I am moving down to Kings Bay in December so we can actually live together when he comes home, but now I have to make the move all by myself and it is way harder than I thought it would be. Does it ever get any easier as the time goes on, or does it just keep getting harder and harder every day? What have you girls found helps to get through it? I'm desperate, I need anything that can help me even the slightest. Sorry for the venting, but I guess I am just looking for any little bit of relief.

[NavyWifeTrivette]

I have been able to talk to him on facebook and instant messenger up until now, but today/tomorrow he is moving out of the barracks they have been in and onto the sub. Once he is on the sub, he said we most likely won't even be able to communicate through email. I am probably still going to send him e-mails just so I feel like I am talking to him, even if he doesn't get them until he gets home. At least then he will have a nice surprise to read on the flight home! All of the moving and everything is seeming really intimidating because I am still so young (only 21) and honestly I have no idea what I am doing or where to begin. I was suppose to stay in CT for three years to go to school here, but when he got his orders for GA I decided to withdraw from UConn and follow him to GA. I am going to another school in FL, but I wont start that until next fall, so I have quite a while before I have that welcomed distraction. I am hoping that the move will be a good distraction, but at this point it seems more terrifying. With me being so young, not having my husband to help me, and not really getting a lot of support from my family. The only redeeming factor is that by the time I move down there, it will only be a few weeks before he comes home. I know I can be strong and make it through, lord knows I have been through enough other trying times in my life, but sometimes it just seems like everything is stacked against me and the emotions just become too much. Thank you so much for the words of wisdom and support, they really mean a lot.

[NavyWifeTrivette]

Thank you so much again. Will the navy really set me up with movers and everything, and pay for everything, even though I am moving down by myself and he is already there? I have heard mixed stories, and some people told me that Navy would only cover it if we moved together, but because I am going alone that I have to handle it all on my own. I don't know how much of this is true though. I hope I can get the navy to help, it would be a huge relief to me.

[NavyWifeTrivette]

Sounds like I have a couple busy days ahead of me filled with phone calls and office visits! Thanks again, you have been a huge help!

[Angie]

you need a power of attorney from your husband so you can sign for everything for the move. 

 

If you where married before he got orders to the command he is at, than yes the Navy will move you and your stuff...but..this is where it gets tricky is they will only pay for you to move from where he was (if he was allowed to have you there) to where he is now..so yes there could be a cost to you. 

 

But as was said, call the PPO office to get the straight answer...you need a copy of his orders also as the PPO office will need that info.  PPO = personal property office

[NavyWifeTrivette]

We got married while he was on leave, after he had already graduated sub school but before he went to his new base so I wasnt with him on his old base. I honestly don't mind if I have to pay or anything because I really don't have very much stuff to move, I just hope I can get some kind of support. How do I get a copy of his orders because I never had them because like I said he already got his orders before we got married.

[illysha10(dylan'swife)]

I asked my mom, who was an Army wife, the same exact question. She told me that it never gets easier. You'll just get stronger. I myself haven't gone through a deployment yet but I will soon. While my husband was in basic I kept my mom's words in mind and it turns out it was true! You'll be surprised how strong and smart you can be when you're put in certain situations. Especially when you have kids. Hang in there girl! It'll get better, I promise! :)

[NavyWifeTrivette]

Thank you all so much for your words of support and advice. I don't seem to be getting very much support from family or friends here so it really means a lot to have the support from all of you. Today is going a bit better, still very hard, but I am staying more positive thanks to all your advice.

[illysha10(dylan'swife)]

It's hard when your friends and family won't support you. It's the same way for me here. I really don't expect them to because it's hard for them understand what you're going through. Thats' why I love N4M! Anytime you need someone to listen I'm here!

[NavyWifeTrivette]

Thank you so much. My family and friends try to support me as much as they can as far as the deployment goes. I am not getting any support about the move though. My family and friends keep trying to make it about them. My mom tells me I should be staying home to help the family, my friends are mad because I am leaving them. It is like they don't understand that I am married now and I have new priorities. I have always been the type of person who would put everyone else before myself, but now that I am married I can't keep doing that. I need to be with my husband, and I need to put our marriage first. I thought my family and friends would understand that, but I guess I was wrong.

[illysha10(dylan'swife)]

Your right. You should understand that it's about you and your husband. I have the same problem with my friends. Mostly because they're all single and I'm the only married one. Are your friends single? I gotta find some more married friends lol. You should tell your mom that your husband is your family and your priority. That's the way it should be

[NavyWifeTrivette]

Yes my friends are all single. I have one friend who is dating a guy in the Army, but she doesn't understand why I am picking up everything to follow him. Her boyfriend is in the guard, so he gets to stay in CT, so she doesn't know what it is like for him to move away from her. They also all think I am just way too young for all this because I just turned 21 in July. I know it all happened very quickly so it is a lot for them to adjust to, but they need to realize that he is my life now. I have told my mom that, but it is like she doesn't want to hear it. I have pretty much just started to ignore my mom about it. It kills me to completely turn my back on her, but if she isn't going to support me then I have no choice.