being a girlfriend...

[johnnasuzanne]

sometimes it is really hard being the girlfriend, not the wife or fiance and definitely not the mom.  my SR left a week and a half ago so of course no letters yet and i'm doing better than i expected but it hurts inexplicably bad knowing that i'm not the one opening his box or getting to hold his form letter or catching the little note on the back of a brochure.  his mom is wonderful and i love her. she knows we are very serious and planning on a wedding within the year and so she always calls immediately when she gets something. but i'm so jealous of her sometimes, i know that's silly and i'm glad she gets to have his notes.  he always mentions me and says i love you but it hurts a little being the last one to know things, to wonder if you are going to make the PIR list when dealing with a divorced family (I did btw) and to know the Navy really could care less about you because you're not married and you're not family.  sorry for venting...just got another call about her receiving another little note and i know it could be weeks before i get word.  just missing him so much more the longer i don't have word.  and i know that someday the shoe will be on the other foot so i'll just accept the situation with grace...thought maybe some of you other ladies were feeling the same way so i though i would share.

[desireenavygf (Ship 11 DIV 322)]

I wish I could say that I know how you feel. But in my case yes I am a girlfriend but my sr sent me the box and the form letter and wrote me first. But then again me and my sr where living together before he left.

[johnnasuzanne]

my guy and i lived together when i was in school but since May i've graduated and taken a teaching position back home so i moved back there. and you are one lucky lady! if i had gotten those things i would have felt guilty though because i know his mom probably needs them more than me. still i cannot wait for that first letter!!

[meagan5220]

yea its really hard to not get anything at first but believe me when your letters start coming it will be worth it!!! Oh btw another Navy wife once told me if the Navy wanted a Sailor to have a wife they would issue him one in bootcamp. and thats pretty much how it is. I might be the only one (actually I know abt 2000 other wives that would agree) but the Navy doesnt care abt s/o no matter what. They just cant give spouses as hard of a time as they can gf/fiances. Keep your chin up and know it gets easier. My hubby left not too long ago for another underway then back for a little then he will miss our second christmas together. (I know many other wives can tell ya all the stuff their hubby has missed too) we just gotta support each other. Just know that no matter what you are going through with the Navy chances are there is someone else out there going through it too.

[johnnasuzanne]

all of you ladies are amazing and i would hate to think of the mess i would be without all this support.  and i've heard the bootcamp issued wife thing before, sad but true.  still like you said, once the letters begin arriving and i get to see him at PIR it will be ok.  i'm sorry about you and your husband though, holidays are a tough thing to miss. i hope he's not gone too long!  thank you so much for the support, i feel better already :)

[meagan5220]

haha yea it is. dont worry. I grew up with a family situation where my Dads job required him to be gone almost every Christmas. I learned that holidays are just a day that was given a special name by corporate American to make us spend money. Yea I am a little cynical but we just celebrate when we can and make the best of what we have. We now celebrate month-a-versaries when he happens to be here. and I thought about doing unbirthdays on a random day during years we miss someones birthday. :) Yea PIR is the BEST! <3 such a great feeling! yea it shouldnt be too long lol 6 months or so. depends but then his ship will be dry docked for a little bit so I count my blessings. its the easiest thing to make it better! you are welcome!!

[johnnasuzanne]

you're not cynical...you're happy because you make the most of things. if there is anything i've already learned it is that, how you approach this new life is everything!

[Joy11]

Hi johnnasuzanne, I'm in the same boat you're in except I have a bun in the oven.  My SR left about a week ago and I still haven't heard from him as well. It is extremely difficult....with my hormonal rages my mind sometimes gets the best of me. At this point, all we can do is stay positive and send them our unconditional love. How long have you and your sailor been together?

[johnnasuzanne]

CONGRATULATIONS Joy11!! that is wonderful. and we have been together a year and three months but somehow it seems longer...in a good way :) i actually got my first letter from my SR today and it makes all the difference in the world. i cannot wait for you to get your first because it feels like a world of weight has been lifted from your shoulders.  and you're right, staying positive and unconditional love will do the trick.  i know he's still a little homesick but i'm going to do everything i can to help him smile.  how far along? and how long have you been with your SR?

 

oh and those hormones get the best of all us sometimes...plus you have a great excuse ;)

[Joy11]

Thank you johnnasuzanne =) My SR and I have been together for 9 months. Our expected due date is in 3 weeks!!! You know when two people are meant to be, ya feel it deep down in your core.

My guy has been saving all his letters for me until he gets back...so no box for me:( And I don't even know when he will be back, hopefully in time for our little one's birth. All I gotta say is "this is NUTS"!!

I'm very happy you got word from your SR=D !! Must feel like the heavens parted with blissful sunshine.

[johnnasuzanne]

wow!! busy woman right now then :) and it is great that you have such a good attitude about everything.  i've come to realize that persective is the most important thing with a family in navy life. you can focus on good or you can focus on the bad...so i'm trying to just enjoy the ride and deal with the bumps as they come. and yes, that letter was the best thing i've ever gotten. amazing how much it means! i hope you hear from your guy soon and that somehow he gets to be home for that baby!!

[Joy11]

Hi hi ! My guy just called me not too long ago. What a relief! It was so great to hear the sound of his voice and I can't wait to see how much he has changed. I gotta remind myself he has it a lot tougher...risking his life everyday for us. So I have to be wary of my mood swings...he certainly shouldn't have to worry about us when he's away.

And he should be there for baby's birth..hopefully I'm due on time =D

[Ashley527]

I know exactly how you feel. My guy left on Sept. 20th and its been a hard time for me. Im not family and we arent engaged or married. I know how it feels to be "just the girlfriend." His family is great about updating me, but its hard not being the one to receive anything. I`m a year younger than he is, I`m only 17 and it`s my last year of high school so that really put on some stress for me. I`m actually doing worse than I anticipated, but I am hoping that when I finally do hear from him that I will start feeling a little better..