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Best time to get married
Views: 583
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by HalfOfMyHeart on
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The best time to get married would've been before bootcamp. I don't want to say the navy 'values' marriages more before bootcamp, but in short they kind of do - especially when it comes to you getting more information directly from them, and your moves are paid. I would say between a school and c school. Make sure he starts doing the paperwork as soon as he gets to a school. There's also a possibility that you could get married graduation weekend if you wanted. I was going to wait until a year into schooling, but I am SO glad that we got married before bootcamp. It has been a life saver, I can't even begin to explain how much trouble it has saved us. If you aren't getting married for a while, make sure you at least get POA for him, so you can handle his finances etc while he's gone. After A-School they get leave (usually) so that would be a great time to do it if you wanted to be able to plan a larger ceremony. If you don't care about the people who are coming (besides family obviously) and only the ceremony itself, then I would suggest doing it as soon as you can. The positives are you get BAH which will help support you while he's on base, and you can eventually live together once his live ashore chit goes through (if he is stationed at one base long enough). Best wishes and hope you get everything figured out!
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Permalink Reply by Anti M on
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Getting married after A school often means he will have orders in hand... and while it may be as simple as missing out on a paid move, it could be as bad as him going overseas for two or three years without you. You can choose to move anywhere in the US on your own dime, but that is NOT true for overseas locations. Visas and all that....
Meagan is right, if you're both 100% certain, then during A school is best, even of you must go down there for a quickie wedding. Save the reception for when he's on leave (although you may prefer to save the money for furnishing a new apartment instead of a party).
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Permalink Reply by meagan5220 on
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I honestly told my hubby the important thing to me is that we get to be together and in all honesty we wouldnt be able to afford it if it wasnt paid for. I have never been the girl to dream abt my wedding. Sometimes I get sad that I had no one there with me but I dont care bc I got what I wanted to be able to be with the love of my life. If we have a wedding it will be on a 5 or 10 year anniversary and I am completely ok if we dont. Then again Im not your typical girl lol.
We are saving the money for furnishing our place for sure. :) and our families understand bc most of them are military in some way or experienced the military life so our whole family still has given us presents and they are throwing us a wedding shower when we come home for our next leave to give us anything we still need before out first major move.
Like Anti M said orders get put out before the end of A school a lot. and it can take at least a month if not more if the Navy decides something isnt wrong ours got kicked back three times bc they thought he spelled my name wrong.
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I got married in Vegas, in jeans, last minute because we were passing through and we were both on leave. My mom and dad were there, but only because they were driving us down to visit my brother. Getting two sailors stationed overseas on leave at the same time was difficult enough, we weren't going to hang around waiting for a wedding date!
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I would say during A school. I went to Fl a month after he got there. Two reasons a) they dont always get time between schools. B) I have heard of them giving orders for C School with first duty station already on there. If they do that you cant get a paid move if they are unaccompanied. they will not change them. It doesnt ALWAYS happen that either of those will occur but its the Navy and if there is one thing I know is that everyone is a little different. I went to the courthouse and donein thirty minutes. Yea its not the most romantic but who cares I get to move with my hubby to his first duty stationed with it paid for so one less thing I have to worry abt bc a Navy move is stressful enough as it is. If you know a hundred percent for sure you guys want to get married do it as soon as you possibly can when he gets to A school. If you have any questions abt getting married in A school in Pcola I can help ya out! I was always told if the Navy wanted you to have a wife they would have issued you one with your uniform. I wasnt married til A school and my move is getting paid for I am going to set it up next month with my husband. :) The only difference is I would have gotten BAH in bc and the box and the form letter. Be careful abt graduation weekend first of all its hard and might not happen they are shipping more and more ppl out early sat am. and is most of the times strictly forbidden I have heard of it happening but still. We werent ready to get married before bc we are glad we waited but we knew we were ready after. it just happens like that. MAke sure its the right time for you too. :)
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Permalink Reply by ald2316 (Ship 3 Div. 336) on
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im still wondering what to do. I'm not the type of girl that would just want to go a meet him some where and get married. I want to get married here in front of family and friends even if it is a small wedding. o what to do.. o what to do. I guess it will all fall in place.sometime.
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Permalink Reply by johnnasuzanne on
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i'm in the same boat. we want to get married before his orders but really don't know if he'll be able to steal away any time during a school. he's aircrew in pensacola so he has candidate school then a school then additional c schools and such. i've always wanted a wedding but not so much that i'm willing to risk him being stationed overseas without me (keep in mind they typically must be and E4 for spouses to go anyways) so i believe we will end up getting married during a school. so far it seems my options are 1. courthouse-which can be as sweet and romantic as you make it. get a white dress and hire a photographer, go someplace special over the weekend. you can always have a nice reception later. alot of times, but not always, they get to take some time between c school and their permanent duty station. 2. have a destination wedding. get married over a weekend, invite close family and friends and celebrate with whoever can come! 3. have your cake and eat it too. do a court house wedding to ensure that you will be on his orders. plan a wedding ceremony for a time when he can come home to celebrate with family and friends. after all if people renew their vows all the time why can't you have a ceremony. although this really isn't my style it is important for both me and my guy to have our family and friends with us so this is what we're leaning towards. do what works for you but the major recommendation would be do it during a school and before he gets his orders! good luck with everything, i'm sure it will work out!
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It is a hard choice, girls are taught to dream of that special day. Sometimes you have to choose between a wedding or a marriage. You will find what works best for you both.
I still think you can have both, and two anniversaries are better than one!
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I know what you mean. I know it does sound crazy but i think the best thing to do is to go to the courthouse and get married when he is home for christmas and then plan a wedding when he gets leave.. i just wondering what he will think and everyone else will think. I just wish we were already married so i wouldn't have to worry about it but we were'nt ready before he left for BC. now it's just a matter of time when to do it and when it's best for us. I would marry him tomorrow if that's what we both wanted, I love him that much to marry him whenever. I would love for him to be able to come home while he is A-school so we could get married. He said he wants to do it after A-school, when he is on leave before he goes to C-school... but i dont know if that's the best time to do it considering it takes about a month or so for it to even show up that we are married.
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like Anti M said, two anniversaries are better than one. and do not worry about what others think. this is your life and you're SR is serving his country, not to mention the sacrifices you will be making as a family, you deserve to be happy and have the wedding and marriage :)
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Perfect answer, JS. Because "everyone else" isn't getting married!
@ ald, do discuss with him the issue of not being on the orders after A school. If he gets a short C school, he may have follow on orders to his permanent duty station at the same time, and you could be left behind. How would he feel about that?
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I dont want to be left behind. That would be a nightmare and he would hate it too. I know the sooner we get married the better. It's when to get married is the question? I plan on talking to him more about it after BC. We are both 100% sure we want to get married. We will figure something out.. im sure.
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