being a girlfriend...

[johnnasuzanne]

sometimes it is really hard being the girlfriend, not the wife or fiance and definitely not the mom.  my SR left a week and a half ago so of course no letters yet and i'm doing better than i expected but it hurts inexplicably bad knowing that i'm not the one opening his box or getting to hold his form letter or catching the little note on the back of a brochure.  his mom is wonderful and i love her. she knows we are very serious and planning on a wedding within the year and so she always calls immediately when she gets something. but i'm so jealous of her sometimes, i know that's silly and i'm glad she gets to have his notes.  he always mentions me and says i love you but it hurts a little being the last one to know things, to wonder if you are going to make the PIR list when dealing with a divorced family (I did btw) and to know the Navy really could care less about you because you're not married and you're not family.  sorry for venting...just got another call about her receiving another little note and i know it could be weeks before i get word.  just missing him so much more the longer i don't have word.  and i know that someday the shoe will be on the other foot so i'll just accept the situation with grace...thought maybe some of you other ladies were feeling the same way so i though i would share.

[johnnasuzanne]

don't get down...just remember that every day you are apart is one day closer to you guys being together again! and trust me, once you get that first letter you will be on cloud 9!!! i get mine every wednesday...still holding out for a call though :(  still just focus on yourself and know that he loves you to death...my guy told me that when things get tough it is the memories he has of us and looking forward to making new ones that get him though. he has 27 days!! i promise the days will go slow but the weeks will fly by.  i understand exactly how you feel so if you need anything at all don't hesitate to message me :)

[Ashley527]

thanks(: im sure the call will come soon!
its nice to be able to talk to and get feedback from everyone on here because its all coming from those who have been there or are going through the same thing. its hard talking to my family or my friends about it because they dont understand. they try to give their sympathy and help but they have no idea what its like or what to say other than the general versions of the "it will be okay" stuff.
but thanks so much for the encouragement! im sure it will be a great relief when i finally get my letter(:

[Joy11]

I totally understand what you are going through. No matter how you try to reason or explain to family or friends, they are not in your shoes. That may be difficult. Haha, any negativity coming from those who don't know just block it out. =D

But in the end, I agree with johnnasuzanne the memories that you have together and what you hope for the future is something very beautiful to look forward to. It's so important not to lose faith, stick in there it's well worth it!

[johnnasuzanne]

Joy11 boy do I know about that negativity!! my family loves me and wants the best for me i know and they care about my SR but they are soooo horribly negative. they rarely have anything supportive or encouraging to say.  i suppose this will just make me stronger though. it is so nice to have so much support on here!

[Joy11]

Johnnazusanne, oh boy ....ditto about negativity. Just the other day, my mom asked me, "Are you sure, he's going to be there for you and the baby?"..."How can you be sure he is who he says he is?" AHH!!!

That drove me nuts and I ended up telling her, "You really don't understand and you are not supportive. From this point on, please do not ask about our relationship or about his whereabouts. I still love you, and Thank you."

That felt so empowering =) Our men need us to stay strong, positive because they are waiting for that day to come back to us.

[Ashley527]

i cant stand it when they are so negative.. my family doesnt really say much about it. his family is really supportive of me (probably because they understand), and they know how serious we are about each other. my family doesnt really have any idea about how much we love and care about each other, so its really hard to talk to them about it. i guess i just have to be strong and have faith in my SR (:

dont let what people who dnt understand affect you! best wishes with the baby and your man, Joy 11! And thank you and johnnasuzanne for the words of encouragement! it really does help.
i got the address and graduation date from his family and he put me on the guests for his graduation. i havent gotten a letter yet, but this made my whole week (: