Feeling Like a Bad Girlfriend But Don't Know What to Do

[MissMyHero]

Hey ladies, I need some help. I'm having some jealousy issues towards friends of my boyfriend and getting worried everytime a girl says something on his facebook page. I've literally been checking his facebook everyday. His attitude towards me has changed as well, but I'm not sure if it has to do with me or if it's the military attitude. Please give me advice. My stomach is in knots, and I just want to stop acting like the obsessive girfriend. I've never been like this! EVER! Suggestions?

[meagan5220]

I would say talk to him abt it. Dont be like crazy but I have a friend that always does this... she asks her husband how would you feel if the roles were reversed. I have to say my husband unless he is friends with the guy or knows im related or something abt our relationship (like my old neighbor or something) then he doesnt like me talkin to them either. Also another thing I know I sort of imagined things were changing between us when they really werent negatively yes they were changing dont get me wrong but like BC I wasnt too worried abt, and A school was a little different he was soo stressed all the time we fought a lot more and its all bc we went from living together, seeing each other everyday, hanging out with couple friends together etc. to him being stressed hating his situation trying to make something out of it. and me being lonely and having no friends. It was also harder for him to express how he felt bc he didnt see me all the time.. you know the look when he looks at you and it says it all... or the touch.. or whatever all those explain how he feels about you and now that is gone... So much communication is nonverbal so missing out on that is missing out on him saying I love you. Boys say I love you more physically than verbally so I told my husband one day. I love hearing you say my name. I hear how much you care. I love it when you tell me you love me etc. :) I would say talk to him abt the fact that it gets to you but I wouldnt freak out on him. Sometimes for boys too its hard for him to get used to being in a comitted relationship... ya know things dont fly like they would if he was "talking" to some girl down the block :)

[Naming-The-Past]

I know exactly how you feel.
My boyfriends attitude has definitely changed since he got to A school. When he was in bootcamp his letters were sweet and everything and then when he got to A school he wasn't the same guy that was writing me in basic, and when I talked to him about it he said "I'm sorry, I'm around guys all day so that really doesn't put me in a sentimental mood." Which I can understand, I just wanted him to know how I was feeling. His attitude has become more of a "I'm-a-bad-a**", and "I don't give a crap" kind of mood. And he literally has a sailors mouth now.

He classed up this week though so I don't get to hear from him much. I use to get a couple texts throughout the day when he was waiting to class up, and now I'm lucky to hear from him during the week. But he called me as soon as he found out he was starting classes and he told me that it was going to be like that. Every now and then he texts me in the morning after he has PT and before he goes to class. And if I don't hear from him for a couple days he will text me and apologize for it and tell me whats been going on and he will call me later on that night.
I'm trying to not freak out so much when I don't hear from him because I know he talks to me whenever he can, and if he doesn't call me when he can, he calls his mom and she lets me know how he is doing most of the time because I live with her.
It's been a new experience for me because we have been together for almost 2 years now and I have lived with him and his parents for a little over a year and every since we started dating, we saw each other everyday, and now I don't get to see him at all and I am always checking my phone to see if I have a text from him or a call.

If you ever need to talk to someone though you can Inbox me, I enjoy talking to someone who is going through the same thing I am.

[meagan5220]

A school is def a stressful time for the guys, my husband didnt call me a ton at first when he classed up but then I told him to call me once a day no matter what even if it was before PT i didnt care if he woke me up at 430 and he just said a few words. Sometimes we would talk a little but usually he just said I love you baby Get some good sleep, pretend Im cuddling with you and have a good day. Always made my day better even if I couldnt talk to him that day later. My husband was so stressed abt doing well in classes and figuring everything out for our first move that he was super uptight. It will get better you might have to talk to him and explain to him that you dont mind a short rushed call on lunch break or anything to get you through ya know? I know my husband didnt want to do rushed calls bc he didnt want me mad that he had to rush off or mad that he could only call on his 5 minute study breaks but I explained to him how much even a simple I love you text meant to me and how it helped me through my day and he honestly said he felt better starting his day talking to me every morning even if I was half asleep it was reassuring to him. :) I wish all you ladies the best!

[Naming-The-Past]

I told my boyfriend the same thing, he tries to text me in the morning if he has time. Most of the time it's after PT. And when he starts his study breaks I might a get text here and there. When I text him though I try to make sure I say what I have to say because I don't like to text him again until he texts me cause I don't know where he is or what he is doing at the time or if he has his phone on him. But every morning when I wake up I text him cause he says he leaves his phone in the barracks during class, and I know that when he gets out of class he will get my text.
I love the random text messages though. I got one the other day and he was apologizing for not being able to talk the last few days (hadn't heard from him in 2 days when I got it) and then he had to go to PT. It's the little things that count. And I use to not really notice the little things when he was at home, because we were always together and I was spending every minute with him. But after he left for basic, I really started to notice the little things and so did he. When I would write him I would spray my letters with one of my perfumes (his favorite one) after I did it the first time he said thank you and was like "it really is the little things that count" I had even sent him pictures that I had printed out of us, me and our puppy, which he enjoyed. To alot of people that would sound corny or cliche, but I tried to do anything I could to make his time there a little less stressful. I wrote him every night when I got off work and sent it out every morning. At first it was hard because I work nights and I would write for at least 2 hours before I would go to bed, but after a week or so it became a routine to me. And the days I knew I would be getting a letter I would practically wait by the mail box.

I really enjoy having someone to talk to about all this because we are all pretty much going through the same thing. I tried to talk to some friends that I have had since we were little but they don't really understand and they always ask why I go through all of this, and the answer should be obvious, I've been with him for almost 2 years and I love him to death and would do anything for him, and distance isn't going to change that. But they don't seem to understand that. And I don't really expect them to, because they wouldn't understand until they go through it,

[meagan5220]

Yea I so understand! Half the times when he would call me I wouldnt even be awake be I would have just fallen asleep bc of my insomnia and he said it was the funniest thing and made his day when I would say funny things to him in my sleep. lol. I most of the times wouldnt wake up for the text message alarm so he always called. lol no its not corny. I understand. My hubby is out to sea right now and I so know what you mean. My dog is actually depressed because of it. He walks around whining looking for him and has even been doing things that my husband normally gets on to him abt then he just looks around to see where he is gonna come out of and punish him its soo sad. I always wrote a letter every night too. It was like a storybook lol I numbered the pages and the envelopes in case they got out of order. I sent him tons of pictures. in A school I sent him a few flat rate shipping boxes and letters :) I missed the letters and now I get emails only. Emails are amazing. On the carriers thats all they can do unless they spend like $1 a minute to call you which I wont let him spend our money like that lol. Also for future reference for deployments you can go to the website for the post office and they will bring customs forms and also flat rate shipping boxes for APO/FPO addresses. I will try to find the links for some helpful stuff :)

 

I am the same way. I hear all the time... I dont know how you do it. A lot of wives say it makes them mad but to me it doesn't I honestly wouldn't wish this life upon people (the negatives) the waiting, the worrying, ya know so I am more envious that they dont have to know what its like. and I think those that get mad abt it are as well. I would never want say my best friend to have to deal with missing her bf this much. So I let her cry to me when he leaves for a day and just goes outta town and she always comforts me when my hubby is gone... she might not understand but she is there for me 100% bc I am there for her. So it works out great!

[Naming-The-Past]

He doesn't call in the morning because I work nights and he feels like he is too rushed in the morning. Though I wish he would, but I love the texts because if I don't hear from him for the rest of the day I have something to look back on. But the weekends are usually better (not lately though because he said he is behind on homework).

How long is your hubby away for?

My dog is the same way! Well she is mine and his dog, she was suppose to be a christmas present for me last year and she adores him (go figure) and she lays around like life has ended for her, and if he calls when I am at home and not at work I will have her sit next to me and put him on speaker and he will talk to her and she goes nuts. When we were gone for his PIR a co-worker was coming over and feeding the dogs and she called me one day because his dog pulled all the cushions off the couches and had torn up shoes and a CD case, she has separation anxiety bad I guess.

I have a close friend that I can talk to about but I feel like I am making them uncomfortable when I talk to them about it because they don't know what to say. And then I have friends who will complain to me about how their boyfriend hadn't texted them back with 2 minutes and I think to myself "Mine hasn't texted me back in 2 days" and whenever I talk to them whether it's about him being away or if we are just catching up, I get a little jealous about how they can see or call/text their boyfriend whenever and I have to wait till mine calls/texts me and I won't see mine till Dec. But he's worth it. I am so proud of him for all that he is doing, I couldn't have asked for a better man.