Saying Goodbye before they ship out

[mikey's mom]

My son left from Denver on Wednesday. We are not from there (3.5 hour drive) and he was to get on a bus and go back to MEPs the next morning, so I only stayed and had dinner with him and his hotel roommate (who we invited because he didnt have anyone there) and I planned to leave before "lights out".  They both were so nervous they couldnt hardly eat anything!!  He was already tired and wanted to study his General Orders and Navy Creed, etc.. some more, so I told him I would say goodbye after dinner.  I promised him I would not cry until I was back in the van headed home, but he kept giving me the 'puppy dog" eyes and looked sort of sad or scared--I don't know--but I think he actually wanted me to cry!  I held it together though (trying to be "tough mom" until I went past the Denver Rescue Mission and saw all those homeless people--so sad--then I lost it.   It has been a long DEP wait of 9 months....so I had already done a lot of crying in private-- and yet it still hits you like a ton of bricks! Women, your husbands will NOT understand this (unless you are lucky enough to have one of the sensitive ones), especially if you had a son/daughter who caused a lot of "friction" at home. But this is totally normal.  They will always still be our babies--even though they will be MEN/WOMEN at graduation--and we will probably cry even harder at graduation because we will be so proud!

Regarding Phones:

He insisted on keeping his cell phone and, boy, was I glad he did!  He got to text/call us and his girlfriend clear up to when they were at the USO office in Chicago.  It eliminated any "mystery" about where he was and when. He texted when his airplane was leaving. He texted when his airplane arrived in Chicago, etc...  So I sort of knew when the "I am Here--Safe & Sound" phone call was going to come (mostly it is very late depending on your time zone 11pm to 2am). I have not heard of anyone getting the first call any earlier than that.  Be prepared as you cannot hear them very well--there is alot of background noise--and they cut out alot on their cell phones because they are inside.   The toughest part for me so far is not knowing how they are doing this first couple of weeks.  It is hard to tell his friends/girl friend that he can have no contact for the first 2 weeks. They totally do not understand that. They think it is cruel and mean and weird as we live in such a techno--info--everyone's totally accessible world these days. When you are so used to Skype, Facebook, Texting, Tweeting, it is hard for teenagers to understand the concept of solitude. 

Dont know what I would've done without Navy for Moms this past 9 months of DEP leading up to his leaving. It totally prepared me for what was to come.  His recruiter was AMAZED at what I knew already before he left.

 

Signed:  Michael's Mom

 

 

[sdees3]

My husband, brother, sister in law who are all ex-Navy think I am over-reacting. It is different when you are a mom sending your baby off to BC. Although we aren't wealthy, we are comfortable and my son went to an upper bracket income high school and had developed a "better than thou" attitude so we are expecting a different child at PIR. He expected everything to be given to him. I am hoping this teaches him responsibility and self respect. If I were you I would still have  Christmas. You didn't mention your daughters age but if she is still at home you need to make her life as normal as possible. Keep in mind you have two children. My heart goes out to you and I have the same struggles missing my boy. He will have a birthday in BC and our recruiter advised us not to send him a card. He will have to open it in front of his RDC which he will regret. They don't allow hazing but I don't want to put my son thru that.

[BusyLifeHappyWife]

She will be 23 by the time Chrismas gets here, and getting ready to graduate with her bachelors in nursing (I will have two in the medical field) very proud.  She wants to go away too.  We have all agreed that is what we want to do.  It's only for the first year that our family isn't intact.  We plan to celebrate our faith and the reason for the season, just not with a house full like normal.  We are going to take a quiet trip and relax.  That's all.  Not all depressing, etc.  We've actually been talking about this with the kids for a couple years now.  Now that they are adults, taking a trip and making different memories over Christmas than in the past when they were kids.  Until the grandbabies come of course.  LOL.  A birthday in BC...wow, how old will he be.  I have heard some of the same things about recieving certain things, etc.  I have even heard they are made to do extra PT if seen going to church service on Sundays.  Has anyone else heard this?  Comments made like, "so you need a little extra support, huh?", etc.  I don't know what all to believe.  I just know this is hard and am glad to have this forum.  My son also didn't have a great recruitor, plus now he's moved on and he doesn't even have one assigned any longer.  I asked him about the 30 day meeting I've been reading on here and he's never heard of it.  Stresses me out.

[sdees3]

No letter in the mail today:( Maybe I shouldn't expect one and then it will be in the mailbox. I really miss my kiddo and I want some kinds of "something" just to know he is OK. But I guess no news is good news.