I need help please

[1Angel]

My son Joshua left for Great Lakes on 10/31. I have to admit when the transport van was in a 3 car pile up in WV onthe the way to the airport I didn't have a ton of confidence in the process. All 11 recruits missed their plane. It all took place a day later and then the real fun began. He called to tell me they would be sending home his contacts, tennis shoes, hoodie, etc. To watch for a package and it would be there. It still hasn't arrived. He seemed to do really well after the first few weeks and was getting excited about graduating. He is going to be a nuclear engineer on a sub. That is all he has wanted to do since well before he graduated high school. He scored high on his test and was accepted into the nuclear program.

Here is the problem. He called me on Christmas Day and told me that he still couldn't make his 2 mile run in 12 minutes. He had been having problems with his ankle. It had never been an issue before. But he went to medical and they tried to send him home. He begged for 20 minutes to be put back on full duty and they did but told him he would be back and he would go home. He was determined to make the run. He said on Christmas that he would get to try on Wednesday and then if he didn't make it, he would try again yesterday. He assured me he would know by the end of the week and let me know if we need to make arrangements to be at his graduation. We live in Ohio and money is not plentiful. My husband left us in May and I am living on next to nothing. I cashed in part of my life insurance to make the trip to Great Lakes to see Joshua graduate. Joshua said that they told him if he didn't make the run under time yesterday, they would put him back 2 weeks in a division that does nothing but run. He said if they do that he is going to go ahead and let them medically discharge him.

I still haven't heard from him. It is getting down to the wire as far as reservations go. My daughter, her fiancee and my future ex husband all have to make arrangements to be off work. I don't know what to do. I am new to this. My brother was in the Navy but got thrown out for being caught with pot. He swears they won't let a nuke go because of a minor ankle problem. But, it has been years since he got out and he barely has a half dozen functioning brain cells to rub together so I am not going on his word.

How do I contact a chaplain or someone who may give half a crap about my situation? My dog got killed on my birthday (12/11), my ex picked a fight with me on Christmas day and I had to charge a $200 vet visit last night onto our credit card to find out my precious siamese kitty is a diabetic (I am an insulin dependent diabetic too so at least I know how to deal with it...somewhat). So my 2011 has sucked royally. I need some help. I can't handle much more. I am so alone in this. Please help me someone!

Thanks so much for at least letting me vent. I am on Facebook "Angela Kelley Holderby" if anybody wants to talk to me or offer suggestions.

[lemonelephant]

I'm sorry you have had such a bad time. You will not hear from your son again until there is a change in his status.  Possibilities are, in the order of best to worst: 1. You will get the "I'm a Sailor" call because he passed his run and went to BS-21 and passed. 2. You will get a call that he has been moved to Ship 4 because he injured his ankle again and they are trying to rehabilitate it and will be there awhile and then he will go on to try again. 3. You will get a call that he has been moved to Ship 5 because they will be medically discharging him. I don't think that you will get a call if he gets moved to the FIT Division, since he has already indicated that as a possibility, but I could be wrong on that.

You can contact the Public Affairs Office to see about the possibility of seeing him for a short time on the day that he was supposed to have PIR. Some have been successful in seeing their SR for 1-3 hours. You can contact the RTC Public Affairs Office at 847-688-2405 or via e-mail at [e-mail] and someone may be able to tell you what his status is and then you can decide what is best for you and your family.  (Know that Monday is also a holiday, so you may not be able to contact anyone at the PAO until Tuesday although Sue has been on the Facebook page today.)

[Connie (Ship03 Div 070)]

Sorry you have had suh a hard time.  I am praying for your son and yourself.  I hope 2012 brings you much better things.

[Angie]

Not trying to be rude...but if your son called and said he didn't pass the run...unless he pass the run before his orgianl PIR he will not get one.  IF he passes the run...than he will just move on to the "A" school with no cermoney.

 

There is a group on here caled FIT it is for loved ones who recruits fail the run and are placed in the special division.

 

The only person you can call is the PAO.  You are not a dependent of the recruit, you are a parent...the military services (ie...Chaplain, ect...) are not for you, nor given to you. 

 

Have you talked to your own Chaplain?

[1Angel]

Well, I was on the phone Saturday from 11 a.m. until nearly 3:30 p.m. I got sent from office to office. Finally they sent a 'trouble ticket' to the chaplain and said he would get back with me with some numbers to call. I got the email. It was the same numbers that I had been calling all day. Some were no longer working numbers, most were out due to the weekend or the holiday. I didn't have until Tuesday to find out anything because we have to leave on Thursday for his graduation on Friday. We are down at the bottom pointy part of Ohio that borders West Virginia and Kentucky. Long drive. So I got angry and fired an email off to every address I had. I basically told them they had my heart walking around up there and I deserved to know what was going on. I told them that Joshua has a 17 year old brother and he will NEVER talk to a recruiter much less sign on any dotted line. I told them that I entrusted them with 1 of the only 3 things in this world that matter to me (I have a 17 year old son, Joshua will be 19 in March and I have a daughter who is 21) and that I was not as happy camper. I didn't want to be nasty but I am down to the wire reservation wise and can't fart around with this any longer. Joshua had said he would be able to let me know by Friday so I expected a call. Maybe that was expecting too much but I was not terribly sweet in the email. I told them "I am somebody's Mom so don't you make me drive up there unless it is to see my Son graduate because I am a civilian and am not impressed by uniforms or rank."

Within 40 minutes the very nice Chaplain called me and told me he had Joshua there and was going to let me speak with him because he wanted to make SURE I knew he was okay. I thanked him and Joshua told me did pass the run in time and he would be graduating with his division on Friday. We talked for just a few minutes and he said he loved me. I told him that I had not been really nice in my email and to please tell the Chaplain I was sorry. He giggled and said he would apologize for me.

I was thrilled. I went out to dinner with my daughter and future son in law and my phone rang again. It was Joshua. He said, "Mom, hey, just wanted to tell you I am fine and I will be graduating with my division on Friday and everything is great and I am sorry for the mis-communication." I said, "Uh. I haven't been drinking Son....didn't we just have this conversation a little bit ago?" and he said "Yeah, but my RDC [or someone important, can't remember the title] had to hear it for himself."I told him that it was MY confusion that I thought I would get a call either way but we were close on time and I had to know something. He said it was fine and he wasn't in trouble or anything.

I probably didn't handle things well but I had a really mean future ex husband demanding to know what was going on so he could get off work. A daughter who needed to know so she could get off work and my future son-in-law most likely can NOT get off work since we had such short notice. I had to do something.

I am truly thankful to find this site. You all know so much. I need to learn so much. I feel welcome here and I appreciate you all offering advice and being honest with me. I am so glad to be accepted here. I need to just do some reading and learning. My brother was in the Navy but I was 12 when he went in. So, anything I thought I knew...has changed.

Thank you again for putting up with my melt-down and offering advice. You are wonderful people and I appreciate you more than you could realize. I look forward to getting to know all of you. Hope you have a wonderful New Year. I have to go find a hotel and I can't find my darn paper that had them all listed on it. I stink at this obviously. Any accommodation suggestions or sites that might have information?

[lemonelephant]

The Navy Lodge is located 1.9 miles off base from RTC and guests of graduation are allowed to stay there.  https://reservations.staydod.com/hotelSearch.do?action=View&pro... or 847-689-1485.  It's $65 or $66 a night and no additional charges.

Other places I know of that other families have stayed at are as follows and in no particular order (I do not recommend or endorce any particular one): Hotel Indigo-Vernon Hills, Ramada Inn Waukegan, Hampton Inn in Libertyville, Residence Inn Waukegan, Red Carpet Inn in North Chicago, Hawthorn Suites by Wyndham at Wadsworth Waukegan, ... That should give you some places to try.

I am happy that you were able to get an answer and start making definite plans and also that you were able to speak with your son.

[1Angel]

Thank you so much. I booked us at the Residence Inn Waukegan. They were out of the PIR Block rate so we ended up paying $99 per night instead of the $89 and the shuttle is $6 per person but that is for both ways. I thought that was very reasonable. I am really excited about spending time with all 3 of my kids at the same time even if my Ex will be there, too.I am being the better person. He is his father so I will bite my lip even though I know he is gonna try to bully the heck out of me. At least I won't be stuck in the car with him for 9 hours.

Since we didn't know anything for certain until Saturday, I don't think my daughter's fiancee is going to get to go. That is frustrating but we knew it was a possibility. Life happens.

Again, thanks for all of you who have helped me with this. On to the next step in this. I am learning as I go and I am going to do everything I can to help out those who follow. Just as so many of you have helped me.

Hugs,

Angi