Ship 11. Div 081

[HannahKathryn17]

Anybody else's boyfriend, fiance, or husband on ship 11 div 081? 

[HannahKathryn17]

Oh trust me, I'm not judging you in any way, shape or form for how long you have been dating. I mean if you love someone, you love them. If you are ready to make the commitment, then good for you. Not everyone would be. 9 months really isn't all that long either. My bf and I have a LOT of history. Junior year of high school we both liked each other for about half the year, but neither of us knew. Then last year, senior year, we had english together. I was so elated. We started talking and I thought he was going to ask me out at a football game. He was really into running and on the XC team and takes losing very hard. He didn't do well at a race that week and that is what started our 5 months of not talking to each other. After the 5 months we started talking again and started to date. Four days after we started dating he broke up with me because he was originally supposed to leave in June and didn't think it was fair for me. Three weeks went by an we talked about everything and we got back together. I couldn't be happier with him. I just feel like the fact we were able to get through  all of that BS we are meant to be together. We also in our 9 months of dating have only ever had 1 serious fight and it lasted like 3 days. But, all of our mutual friends are just like we are so perfect for each other, our differences compliment each other.

[Missy]

We were together since October, but didn't really make it official for everyone else until December. He did the whole "I don't think this will be fair to you" thing also. Drove me crazy. I told him that I was the one that would have to go through it so I had to be the one to decide. We talked about it A LOT. He told me before he left the best decision he ever made was to agree to this. That he wanted it, but never would of asked it of me because it is so much to ask of a person. We are older though. He is 25 and I am 30 so I have had plenty of crappy relationship experience and so has he. Like he said this was too good to let go and then always wonder what could've been. We kind of did everything backwards and figure that's why our relationship has worked out so well!

[Missy]

The night before he left for basic he texted me from the hotel and told me that it takes a lot to be the gf of a sailor and the fact that I asked him to be mine makes him damn proud. I wouldn't take that back for a second. I have told him a million times no matter what we have to go through to be together, it will be worth everything. Listen to me getting all mushy!

[Samantha322]

I understand how both of you feel. I am lucky enough to say I fell in love with my best friend and we've been together for a year. Ita really hard but I can honestly say that it's getting easier for me already. Not easy by no means but easier. I don't think that it will ever be easy but it will get better. The hardest part is having no one to talk to and I'm so thankful for this site because none of my friends understand. That's the worst part about this, finding someone who understands. We just have to keep out heads held high and support our future sailors because it's hard on them too. I have found that keeping a journal has been super helpful because I can write about my day in full and not have to worry about sending it to him because I know that he will worry. And I also write him a separate letter each day. No matter how many people have told me this it's true, if you have an honest and true relationship this time apart will only make your love stronger and make you a stronger and more independent person.

[Missy]

I write him a letter each day too. Just to tell him what's been happening in my day and so on. I warned him before he left that I was going to do this and that he would probably get bored!

I even talked to his recruiter a little because he and his now wife went through a similar situation as my bf and I. He was getting ready to leave for boot camp and wasn't looking for anything serious and then they found each other. He said that it made the whole process so  much easier for him and he doesn't take a single second with her for granted. He also said that their relationship is that much stronger because of all of the things that they have had to go through together.

Every day does get a little easier, although some are still worse than others depending upon what happens. It is really hard having none of my friends or family to talk to since none of them understand and, like I said, they kind of act like I am being dramatic about it. If one of them had to go without communication with their boyfriend for an extended period they would probably lose it.

I am just waiting on a letter from him now! I know that will make this much more bearable!

[Missy]

Is he set to graduate on 3/9 also?

[HannahKathryn17]

The night before my bf left he called me to let me know the details about meeting him at MEPS to watch him swear in and at the end of the conversation he told me he missed me already. I lost it and started to bawl. We are still pretty young, 18 going on 19, but its the real thing. I love him more than anything in the world. I don't know what I would do without him. Right before the bus left from MEPS to go tto the airport. He climbed over a guy opened the window and screamed out "I love you". Not a single other person did this. It made me feel special and that I had nothing to worry about. 

Writing to him really is helpful. I have written to him almost everyday. Before he got on the airplane he had asked for my ipod, but I told him no because then I would be without it for 8 months. So on days I don't write him an actual letter, I send him song lyrics about missing people or love, or just songs that we connect with. I figure it is the closest thing an Ipod he going to get there. Luckily when our 1 year comes, he will be in A School. I am going to send him a Ipod with the CDs we have made each other and a new one that I am going to make. I am going to get I Love You engraved on the back of it.

Each day does get a little easier. Even though it means that you have apart for longer, it also means that it is just one day closer to seeing him again. That is what gets me through the really hard days.

[Samantha322]

Im lucky enough to have my boyfriends parents. They went through the exact same thing. They fell in love in high schol and he left for the Marines so his mom knows exactly what I am going through. She's been really helpful and the best advice she has given me is don't hold yourself back while you're waiting on him.

Im the youngest one here it seems and I am still in high school and my boyfriend was a year ahead of me and his mom just tells me to keep going on with my life. She said that the biggest regret she made was settling with things so she could be with him. She doesnt regret loving him, she regrets giving up her dreams.

I write him a letter everyday and now that we have his address I am going to mail them every other day so that way the cost of stamps doesnt get to high but I know for a fact that when my boyfriend is done he is going to tell me I am cheap, but he will still appreciate it.

[Missy]

I love his family and really don't know what I would do without them. I live for our family dinners on Thursday nights because then I definitely get to see them and it gives me something to look forward to every week. We laugh and joke about him. We look at baby pictures. It makes everything seem so much better. Everyone tells me that I need to just continue on, but it's hard when such a big part of my life isn't here with me. I always looked so forward to seeing him and spending time with him. Or when he would send me a text while I was at work. Every time my phone goes off I still hope that it's him even though I know it's not.

The adjustment period has just been really difficult. I feel so much better though knowing that people are going through it with me. That there sons, boyfriends, husbands and fiances are there with him and they are missing them just as much as I miss him. Before he left he just kept telling me to stay strong and I am doing my best. I will say that this is harder than I thought it would be that's for sure.

[Samantha322]

I love my boyfriends family as well. His little sister and I go out to dinner or she hangs out with me and my friends at least once a week. His mom texts me or calls me every day just to check up on me to make sure I am doing alright. She gave me his hoodie from the "kid in the box" and she gave me a whole bunch of his stuff that I can sleep with and it makes it so much easier. I go there at least once a week and it helps.

It still is really hard knowing that he's not here. Especially since I was with him everyday for the last year. I saw him in some way or another every single day, so its really hard. It makes it much worse that he is my best friend and the one I told everyone too and he's not here to listen anymore, but i just have to keep going.

Before he left, he told me the same things. Just keep your head held high and everything will be okay, because he loves me.

[Missy]

He gave me his favorite hoodie before he left and sprayed his cologne on it. I sleep with it every night.

We actually made our hotel reservations last night for his PIR. We wanted to make sure we got in some place! That made me feel better too because it's another step towards seeing him.

I know this will start to get better day by day, but I just wish it would go by faster! I also think that once his letters start coming that will help some too.

I really like his sister too. We are going to make paper chain countdowns this week! We are ridiculously excited about it even though we are both grown adults!

[Samantha322]

That is so exciting that you made the hotel reservations! He told me before he left he wanted me to be at his PIR but I honestly don't know yet if he put my name down so I am just waiting for the first letter to come so I can find out.

I sleep with 2 of his favorite hoodies and I wear one of them. I also sleep with all of the stuffed animals I got him because he slept with them every night.

The time lately just seems to be dragging on, I keep myself busy too. I'm in school everyday and I do other things but it's just dragging on now. Once we make it out of these first few weeks, I hope it gets better.

A count down chain is such a good idea! Except my problem is I'm not letting myself count by the days I'm only counting the weeks because it helps alot and I am not constantly thinking about how many days are left because the weeks make it seem so much shorter, I don't  know why but that is just how I am tackling all of this. Hopefully it will get better soon though.