Today's the day

[heathee12]

I said goodbye to my boyfriend last night.  He swore in this morning and is waiting to get on a plane in a few hours. I am pretty upset, which from what I am reading is totally normal now.  He is my best friend and this is the best (most positive) relationship I have ever been in.  We are both 33 years old and have been living together.  I am trying to figure out some sort of a new routine and figuring out what goals I would like to set for myself over the next 8 weeks.  I am an artist and a runner and I am currently in my third week of training for a marathon at the end of may.  I am really just looking for a voice in this - maybe some advice - whatever makes the most sense.

[StaceyStan]

My husband was 31 when he went to boot camp. I think that being older has its advantages and disadvantages. One of the big ones was people look to him for a natural leader, and that helped him to feel out his place a little more in boot camp.  My hubby trained for a long time before going into boot camp, and we would work out together, that REALLY helped him.  He was out running and out preforming 18 year olds. 

You are on the right track about setting goals for yourself, just stick to it.  I made sure to keep my daughter and me were a very strict regimen and stick with the plan.   Also wright to him as much as possible!  Send cards once you get the address, and keep them coming.  Don’t send any care packages or pictures that you would not want the world to see.  I would stay away from the cards that make sound as well.  As of right now, it is about blending in and not sticking out too much.

  When “the box” comes, it is going to be way harder then you thought it would be. If you have a dog, I would let them sleep with a piece of the clothing, and keep one for yourself… I felt much better once I realized that it was normal to sleep with the dirty laundry that came home.  ;-)     Look up the area code great lakes and always have your phone handy… but the calls will be sort and sweet.  It took me about a week to get the box, and about 2-3 weeks before the letters started.  They are allowed to write on Sundays, so figure 3-4 days after that you should/will get one every week.

PIR is the most amazing experience you will have, and the love and support that you have for each other will shine though!   It’s going to be hard, but as I look back I am not sure I would change a thing. It has made our marriage that much stronger, and we are both better for being able to go through this.  

Hope this helps!

[heathee12]

Hi and thank you that does help.  I just got my phone call and I am excited for him to get started.  we actually both turn 34 next month so he got in right before the cut-off. We have been going to the gym together and I got him up to running 3 miles (though I know that he hates it).  I appreciate your advice about sticking to a schedule.  I went to the store tonight and that upset me - just because I am so used to his company. 

Did you start writing letters right away?  I was thinking about getting a spiral notebook and just doing a couple days at a time and sending him that.  I am glad he wrote me a note before he left.  I put it on the fridge so I can read it whenever I want.  I guess working with help me too.  I just miss him already, but I guess that is part of this.  It is so reassuring to hear that you will actually get through this stronger and more committed.  Thank you!!! How long have you been married? 

[StaceyStan]

We have been married for almost 7 years.  I knew joining the Military was something that he always regretted not doing right out of high school, and when he turned 30 I thought that it was out of the picture.  Then one day he came to me and said he was going to go talk to a Recruiter, and my first thought was good luck buddy!  lol. It took us almost a year from start to finish before he was at the MEPS office.  It was a long year full of ups and downs. In the end, it was all worth it. 

I wrote him everyday starting the day I dropped him off at the MEPS office. Sometimes it would be just a letter babbling about my day, other would have lots of good information and updates about our daughter. He did ask for some current events in the news, and you can find some fun questionnaires that they like to fill out. Gives them something to look forward to on Sunday besides the Ice Cream!  lol.  Also, something that he liked, I found a card that was an encouragement card with a number/letter code in it, and I would use that code to send him fun messages.... He said that some of they guys wished they had codes to crack. :-)   I will say that looking back and reading the letters, it took me about 2 weeks before I would not cry while writing them.  I think that you just get into a spot where you say to yourself "I am stronger then this, and I am going to work on making myself a better person because of this".  As I read the letter, I can see the improvement in myself and my attitude... and the same goes for the letters from the boys.

Between boot camp and going to school after, then to his duty station he was gone for about 6 months. I was lucky enough to get to see him a couple times during that time. Now we are stationed in San Diego.  He goes out more then he is home it feels like, but again... the time that we do have together is wonderful!  The smallest messages from him mean the world to me.

What rate is your BF going to be?   My hubby is undesignated.  So that means that he does not really have job yet, but we should be getting the job list next month. I know he is going to be SO excited to finally get his rate, and I will be excited for him. 

Keep your head up.

[heathee12]

Thanks for writing! That is super awesome that you have been married for so long - congrats!!! that is an accomplishment in itself?  How old is your daughter?  I made it through today!!! I got a little teary eyed in the morning and then at work when my colleagues were asking about by bf.  I am just really lucky that I feel like everyone cares so much.  I went out during my lunchbreak to pick-up a notebook so I can write whenever I have something to say.  I just want him to hear my voice (and get my sense of humor) in my letters to keep his spirit up. 

Maybe it is a positive thing that we are a little older because with my job and training I hope that I can get some momentum going.  My SR is going to be a yeoman and his A school is in MS - though right now I just want get through the week.  I am a runner and when I train I never look at more then a month at a time or it gets too overwhelming.  Where are you from originally? How do you like San Diego? It seems like it could be a fun city to live in.  Have a good night!