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SEPARATION
HELLO EVERYONE
IT HAS FINALLY HAPPENED. MY HUBBY LEFT FOR JAPAN YESTERDAY. WE WERE TOLD HE COULD NOT BRING HIS FAMILY BECUZ HE WAS AN E3. I DONT UNDERSTAND THAT. AT FIRST I DIDNT MIND IT, CUZ MY WHOLE FAMILY IS HERE, AS WELL AS HIS, TO WATCH OVER AND BE SUPPORTIVE OF ME AND MY 14 MONTH OLD.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN WITHOUT HIM, AND I AM GOING THROUGH A TOUGH TIME. I JUST DONT UNDERSTAND THIS. I THOUGHT MILITARY CARED ABOUT FAMILY MEMBERS BEING TOGETHER, BUT IDK.
PLEASE HELP ME UNDERSTAND HOW THIS ALL WORKS, AND WHAT NEED TO HAPPEN FOR ME TO BE WITH MY HUSBAND SO WE CAN BE A FAMILY AGAIN
THANK YOU
TYLER
Views: 273
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by jde on
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as far as I know, they have to be an E-4 before family can move overseas with them. He might possibly get a waiver from the command to let you move over there, but that is hard to get. They are sending a lot of them over there without the families even if they are in E-4 and above. You can try contacting Fleet and Family and see if they can give you any assistance.
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Permalink Reply by Anti M on
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The reason this happens is money, pure and simple, the Navy doesn't have enough housing for the junior enlisted members. If you know anything about Japan, there is no room to build on the bases, and the off base housing allowances are too costly to make up for the junior members. There is not enough tax payer dollars in the federal budget, this is one of the corners which was cut.
Were you married before he received these orders? How long are they for? Two years? He can get leave, so you'll see him a couple times, just save up for airfare. I know it isn't much, but many wives go through something like this. I know I did.
He can request for you and the child to be command sponsored, but it is not likely to be approved. Again, it comes down to the command budget. Japan is simply too expensive! If he makes E-4 and his request is approved, he must extend his tour, and you both will be away from your families for a couple more years.
You can do this. It sucks, and it sucks hard, but you have your child and both your families backing you up. Hang in there.
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Also, you can't just move to Japan... one it is expensive, and I don't mean Hawaii expensive, I mean gold-plated expensive. Two, they have immigration laws, and you'd not be allowed to stay more than 90 days.
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Permalink Reply by Sw33tTee826 on
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We were married at least a year and some months when they gave him orders<1><2> they are for two years. I just feel like its gonna b hard to go through this. Im hoping he can buy a computer there and skype me..that will def help me. Im just nervous about running the household and taking care of everything alone without him here with me. this is the first time i have been without my husband. its just a hard adjusment, and its only been day 2, its hard and im very very very very SAD, when i talk about it, i CRY
I wanna meet people like me who have been through this exact senario, have you been in the exact same senario where u just couldnt be or travel with your husband?
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I lived 2 years without my husband, my daughter was born a week after he graduated and going though schools and and all of that. It was not the exact same senerio but we were apart for over 2 years. When we finally got our house and everything ready to move so we could finally be together in the same city, he was told he was going on deployment. That was another 7 months and me and my daughters moved 2 months after he left. So I was in a new place, knowing nobody with my girls. You can do this, you probably will cry a lot but it will get easier.
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My husband and I were both active duty sailors. I was in Yokosuka, he was on a ship out of Sasebo. Both in Japan, but at different bases, far apart. No Skype, no internet, no cell phones. Just really expensive phone calls and letters. We didn't have a child, fortunately. I did have a little house to run, I lived off base (was an E-6).
We saw each other a total of 28 days the first two years we were married. Yes, we got lonely. But we made it. I served for nine years and chose not to re-enlist because they were ready to send me to California when he had three more years in Japan. So I gave up my Navy career to be near him.
Right now you are in shock, grieving, and trying to make sense of a frightening situation. Lean on your family. It will get better, you will learn how to cope, and you will get stronger. You may not think so today, but really, you can get through this. Two years only feels like forever just now. Go ahead and cry, you need to get it all out, get mad, get sad, but ultimately, you'll be okay.
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Permalink Reply by Shantonia on
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Hey my baby was stationed to Japan too and they said i couldn't go with him even if we were married but just take it a day at a time and everything will be ok
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How long was he there for?I feel alot better now, but i talk to him everyday cuz he got a cell phone there and we have phone cards and what not, and we have skyped with is nice. he just hates the ship life and is in shock, and i have to be strong for him pretty much when i wanna sit here and cry.
So how long was he there? and how did you make it through?
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Permalink Reply by BearyBlueNavyWife! on
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I was told they would not send the ones with family over sea!? That is very sad and I would so not want to do that either! I might be apart from mine the end on this year for 18 months and it is killing me too but I'm trying not to think about it! I hope everything works out some how for you and your family and that you will get to move there very soon!
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They TRY not to send them, but if the billet (job) is open and there is only a married guy available at that time, then the married guy goes.
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see my hubby doesnt want me and my daughter to move there. its been a week, and he says he hates it. i told him he had to get use to it and he would be okay. he said the same thing about bootcamp and now talks about it like he really enjoyed it. so...i mean its an adjustment for the both of us and we just have to be strong.
so he wants us to stay here where our family is becuz he will be out to sea alot, and he just wants to complete the two years and leave lol
thank you for your encouraging words
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