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Hi I am very new to all of this, My name is Adrienne and my boyfriend Matt has just left for bootcamp 3/06. We have been in a long distance relationship for 6 months(i live in ny he lives in fl). But we had this plan that after his A school where ever he was based if it was in the United States i would move there and we would get an apartment togetheer. To much of my surprise that usually isn't the case. He is going into bootcamp as an E-3, and hopefully will be an E-4 after A school. My main question is does anyone know or is a girlfriend that was able to get an of base apartment with their sailor or is it pretty much impossible. We have talked about getting married and we have been dating for almost a year(on 04/30) but i wanted to wait until he is atleast 20, and i don't want to rush anything just to be able to live with him because to me it sounds horrible to say and my mom is having a mild heart attack with me even talking about it.

Also a few more questions, usually how far in A school do they get their orders(because if he gets his orders right away and is overseas as much as that would suck waiting is ok), and have alot of you boyfriends/husbands/fiances been stationed over seas if so how long are they gone and do they ever get a week or so off every so often to visit home? and then if they are stationed on base can they be deployed over seas? and if that happenes do they come back every few months?!

Sorry for all the questions but I am like freaking out and i can't talk to matt, and I know you all know what i am going through. Answers and help would be greatly appreciated. [= thank you.

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Hi:)
I can answer some of your questions.
If you know his rate, or job, you can google to see where his a school is. My husband is in a school now. I followed him here and got an apartment, he can't live with me but since we're family I see him as often as possible. He got his orders a little less than halfway thru school. He will be stateside but alot of his single shipmates will be overseas. They don't usually send the lower ranking guys on a pcs that isn't stateside, if they're married.. its too expensive. That said, if he does stay in the US, you could get an apartment off base but he probably wont be able to live there. Im not sure his it works if you're single, they'll probably want him living in the barracks. In a school he'll have lots of opportunities to ask questions. Im SLOWLY learning the military standard, "hurry up and wait." :)

First off, as far as living on base I do not think you would be allowed to. I may be wrong but I dont think you can. Getting on base by yourself you would have to have a military ID for most bases. Again someone correct me if I am wrong but I dont think its allowed. Also, he will not get BAH to live off base until he is an E5 I think. So that means rent would be out of pocket. (unless the barracks are full and he has to live off base)

 

Second, orders vary by a school sometimes they are on hold even after A school to get them! My husbands rate AM seemed to have a pretty set schedule their MTIs said that the classes all that year had been getting orders with about a month left in a school. My husband didnt get his until like 2 weeks before bc of the govt shut down. If they are stationed overseas moving with them is hard and in some cases impossible. If they are stationed there then I think typically 2-3 years is what I have been seeing. They get time for leave to come home but the ticket home is on their dime. Which can be pricey. They get 30 days of earned leave every year but being the new guy sometimes its hard to get leave. If they are stationed at a base yes they can get deployed. My husband is currently deployed and he will be gone for 8-10 months when he gets back and no they dont get to come home unless there is an emergecny to warrant coming home. My husband is doing his sea duty which almost all new sailors get sea duty straight out of a school. But even if they get assigned to a base they can always get deployed if the Navy needs it.  

this was last year btw that my husband got his orders sorry. :)

I can give you a lot of general information, but there will be exceptions to every case.

First, a single sailor can live where he likes after A or C school, but only married sailors or E-5 and above get BAH (housing allowance).  Many split a place with other single sailors to save money.  

Most rates (jobs he signed up for) get sea duty first, which usually means being on a ship.  They deploy about 6 to 11 months out of the year, depending on what's going on in the world.  Eight months is about "normal".  Wile they receive sea pay, most junior single sailors don't get enough money to maintain a place while they are out to sea.  (If you know his rate, I can tailor an answer to your situation better).  If by chance he gets shore duty, it would be unusual for him to deploy.  There are some rates which can deploy as they are with deployable units and not ships, but that's very specific circumstances.  (Navy Corpsmen with Marine combat units for example).

If he gets orders overseas, the usual tour is two or three years.  While a sailor earns 30 days of paid leave a year, they rarely get to take more than a week or so at one time, especially if they are on a ship.  Given how expensive it is to fly to the US, most only make the trip once a year, if that.  

The best thing to do right now is to gather information and listen to the experiences of other GFs.  Do not drive yourself crazy with maybes and what ifs, but also do not make concrete plans until you know if the Navy is going to work the way you think it does.  Do a lot of reading down through the older discussions, you'll find many of these questions have been asked and answered.

Best of luck and hang in there!

Jinx, we all answered on top of each other!

So if your a sigle sailor they usually get over seasduty(meaning your living over there) or seaduty(just out at sea for 8 months). now if your married they usually get a stateside base. He is going in as an E-3 and is an advanced technical field aircrewman but there are different jobs that he can pick that is what i don't know yet.

 

Not quite right, but close.  More details:

Orders come in two flavors: sea duty and shore duty.  Either can be stateside (CONUS) or overseas.  There is a sea/shore rotation which normally begins with sea duty.  That means three years on a ship which deploys six to eight months out of each year,  Maybe more, maybe less.

Shore duty means a job which is basically like a day job with occasional duty days (you'll learn more about duty later).  Shore duty sailors generally don't deploy.  

If they get overseas orders, they will be living there (OCONUS)  E-3 and below cannot take dependents overseas.  E-4 and above can, IF they were married before the orders were issued, and if the dependents get command sponsorship.  You can't go live in a foreign country without permission, they have immigration laws too.  Hawaii is "overseas".  They can get orders to a ship which is homeported overseas.  So not only do they live over there, they deploy much the year also.  

Married sailors, e-3 and below, CAN get overseas orders.  The spouse stays in the US.  Look down through the discussions and you will find a couple ladies who had this happen to them.  The Navy tries not to do that, but it is NO guarantee it will not happen.  Needs of the Navy.  You'll come to love/hate this phrase.  So married sailors can get orders which are accompanied (Navy pays for dependent travel and you can go live with him) or unaccompanied (no travel pay, and you can only go live with him if it is stateside and you move on your own dime).  

Aircrew... he could be assigned to an air craft carrier (CONUS or OCONUS), to a squadron (deploys with the aircraft carriers), or an air wing (also deploys, may be sent overseas as a unit for six months or so, or may just be stateside).  Shore duty for him would be aircrew at a NAS (Naval Air Station). 

He might get to request duty stations, but out of A school, the needs of the Navy determine where he goes.  

Also, you can't get on base without him unless you are a dependent spouse with your own ID card.  No living on base with him as a GF, ever.

That may seem complicated, but you'll get the hang of it.  I tried to ease in some Navy talk, because he'll understand it better himself when you start talking about the future.

Oh, and that's actually simplified.... it can get crazy.  I've seen a lot of weird situations  (not only did I marry Navy, I was in the Navy, so was my dad, so I was born and raised Navy).  Dad was in aviation, maintenance, and he was almost always with squadrons which deployed with air craft carriers.  He also had shore duty a few times, but the rotation has changed since he was in.  Changed since I was and my hubby were in too.

thanks so much you are helping alot. do you know if a lot of single sailors get stationed OCONUS or is it just random married or not married, if you get picked for OCONUS. that is the main thing i am worried about sea/shore duty i can handle OCONUS i will go crazy. haha.

Most of the time, the junior married ones don't go overseas.  That isn't 100%, so you just can't let it drive you batty.  Single sailors do stand a slightly better chance. Just remember we have more, bigger bases in the US, so his odds of pulling a stateside base are higher.

I'd have to look it up, as the rules for college have changed since I was in.  I think he has to wait for one year from enlisting before his command can give him permission to begin courses. Maybe.  I know from experience it can be darn tough to finish anything while on active duty.  However, given the length of his A school, and whatever C school he pulls, it will be a year before he's in the fleet anyway.

As for advancing in the Navy, there's a pretty set schedule and a ton of details on how that happens.  Many of the rates are overmanned, so it is very competitive.  Nothing is impossible, but there's more regulations than the recruiters ever talk about (or know about).   I assume his advancement to E-4 is part of his school contract (I had a program like that).  Once he finished his A school, he will advance to E-4 when the Navy advancement cycle comes around.  And do expect him to go to a C school, which is several weeks or months of additional training.  Also expect the A school to be longer than the stated "seat time".  You'll learn "hurry up and wait".  

You won't go crazy, you'll go with the flow and be flexible and learn to laugh at how weird things are going to get.  

And yes, he gets tuition assistance if he gets permission to go to classes.  Remember, he has to work his schooling around his work and duty days.  They won't give him time off for school.  I know I had to drop classes several times since I was an on-call technician for critical systems.  I did finish my degree, but it took a long time, and I had to wait until I was a dependent wife to get the last year done.  All night classes, on base, in Japan.  University of Maryland is on base, as well as several other colleges.

he also plans on going to be an e-4, then start college right away and then advanced higher as soon as possible.

 

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