He's been gone for merely hours...How did ya'll do it?!!?!?!??!

[SailorGirl124]

I can't believe today finally had to come...I dropped Richard off for basic (on his way to Great Lakes) and haven't stopped crying since. How in the world am I supposed to do this for 9 weeks??? It's been literally hours and I've never felt more heartbroken. He is the love of my life, never two souls more perfectly made for each other. I've never more clearly understood what people mean when they say someone completes them. I walked around my house aimlessly today simply because I didn't know what to do...How have you ladies made it through? I plan on writing everyday but that won't be enough. I feel like a piece of me has been torn away, how do I fill it just enough to make it through these 9 weeks?

[B daniel]

Sailor girl, first of all you are in the right place . My husband nick has been gone since march 13 and i miss him so much it makes my stomach hurt. To top it off we have two beautiful kids 5&2 . My advice to you is take it day by day . The first two weeks are the hardest emotionally. After that your normal life will return ,it does not mean you dont think about him every second of the day . The thought of him makes you work harder in all you do , so he will be just as proud of,you as you are of him. Keep your head up he loves you be proud of him and encourace him at the end of every letter you write. Nick graduates May 11 it seems like a year away but it will be here before we know it. Best wishes

[MissuLandri]

Hi, my name is Megan..
Just wanted to say It will get easier. I know that doesn't help at all! I went through the same thing in December & I felt like my heart had been torn apart. It is the worst feeling ever to watch your other half leave knowing that you won't be able to talk to him or see him. When my boyfriend (now fiancé :) graduation of bootcamp he asked) went to basic I fell apart, I didn't have anyone to tell me how to handle it or what to do. I remember the first night after dropping him off I came back to our home and sat on the floor and cried for hours! To me it felt like he was dead (not trying to sound dramatic or anything) I didn't want to talk to anyone because as much as they tried to help or tell me he was going to be back in no time it didn't help because he wasn't there holding me, he wasn't able to talk to me or anything like that. I didn't want to get up in the morning for work and I could of cared less what I looked like because I didn't want to look nice for anyone besides him. Your going to feel the worst in the begininging of course but laying around doesn't help yes give yourself a good 3 days to not talk to anyone feel super sad and cry! (crying did help a lot) after that you have to get up and find something to keep yourself busy! I had work, school, and I started working out hardcore 6 times a week ( he was going through hell in bootcamp waking up and running like crazy and not sleeping hardly so I put myself through something similar ) best shape ive ever been in! Lol WRITE EVERYDAY!!! omg letters are so amazing! After you get the first letter (that takes time and the wait for that is the hardest) it goes by fast and easier! You have probley heard this before but they truly do live for letters. Write 3 times a day (I did) for me this was the hardest thing I've ever had gone through. I know how you feel and I never understood what people meant when they said someone completes them until the day he left as well. You will become so strong thru this and trust me, every moment he has he is thinking of you! I promise you that! I could go on and on and tell you what your next thoughts are going to be or how you are going to feel or what questions pop up in your head. I did a lot to stay strong and keep busy. Family is great to have around! I became super close with my fiancé mom and dad after he left ( his mom is one of my best friends!) i can't say to much about having friends around because I got so depressed with him leaving that a lot of my "friends" dropped me. (besides one guy who was his best friend and hung out with me everyday because he made a promise to my fiancé he would watch out for me) you learn soooooo much thru this and the love you grow for each other while he is away is like no other love in this world! It made us so strong! I stopped going on this website as much after he got out of basic but I checked my email tonight and saw your post and reading this brought me back to that day and I wanted to message you to let you know to stay strong and I'm more than happy to help you with anything (questions or just to vent or cry) I could honestly go on for hours about everything and my story and how I promise you it will get better! Start a countdown because it helps get you out of bed to go change the number of days until you see him! Hang in there! :)

[SeabeeWife]

They don't get you letters right away it take about 3 weeks and they are going to say on one of the first ones you get that you need to start writing them don't worry they'll get your letters. And don't use their names on here the rdcs do look at this page and they will get in trouble for what's written on here trust me my sailor got in trouble bc of something that was written on this website. It will get a bit easier when it gets closer to the end of boot camp.

[Tiffany51908]

SailorGirl124-My heart is breaking for you because i remember that feeling. My sailor left for boot camp Dec and graduated in February. We lived together for three years prior to that so i still am not adjusted to being without him. I remember that lonely, helpless feeling and needing him so badly but you cant touch him, hear him, or see him (i still have these breakdowns) but its normal. If you are anything like i was, then nothing i say is going to take away your pain but i will leave you with advice, something i learned on my own.... Strengthen yourself. He NEEDS you to be strong. You wont get a call for a while but when you do, try  not to cry. When you write, stay POSITIVE. Trust me, as hard as it is this was one of the best things that ever happen for my relationship because we have reached a whole new level of love and appreciation. Stand by your man and i promise things will get better! I know what you are going through. Boot camp was hard on me, then A School and my sailor is about to deploy, its a hard life we have chosen but we are STRONG enough to make it through! I wish i had found this web site during boot camp. Stay busy and stay positive. If you ever need a friend or have questions i can help you with  feel more than welcome to message me!  God bless you and i will keep you and your soon to be sailor in my prayers! 

[SeabeeWife]

They don't get you letters right away it take about 3 weeks and they are going to say on one of the first ones you get that you need to start writing them don't worry they'll get your letters. And don't use their names on here the rdcs do look at this page and they will get in trouble for what's written on here trust me my sailor got in trouble bc of something that was written on this website. It will get a bit easier when it gets closer to the end of boot camp.

[sailorwifenmom]

Just keep busy - I know it's hard now, but this is the hardest part, when they first leave!  You CAN do this!  Just remember, EVERY SINGLE DAY and EVERY SINGLE HOUR is one more closer to him coming home, so you've already survived the longest part! 

Find something that you want to do and set a goal for yourself, see if you can accomplish it before he graduates - that's a great way to pass the time and help you get through it. 

I know it's hard when they're gone, and right now you feel like a piece of you is missing, but try to look at it like this - it's not missing, it's just not with you right now.  He is STILL your other half, and you all STILL love each other, you're just supporting him in his desire to be in the Navy, and this is something that will be good for you all as a family. 

You CAN do this! 

[samantha2014 (AMAA, CA)]

It gets better, I swear. I have 16 more days until PIR and these days seem to be moving slow. But once they pass, I know it will seem like BC just flew by. Just make sure you have your phone on you AT ALL TIMES. Those rare calls are precious. I missed one yesterday and it broke my heart and I don't want you to have to go through that. The first 2-3 weeks are the hardest because you hear NOTHING from your SR and the last outfit you saw him wear comes home to you in a box. That part is hard. It's almost like he has died. But then, one day, YOU GET A LETTER!!! And you finally know he's still alive and ok. That is an amazing feeling to get the first letter. I swear you will never appreciate a mail carrier more. And then you live for the letters each week. They are amazing. I think you will find your SR will be able to express his feelings for you so much clearer on paper. Those letters will bring you closer together. I carry mine EVERYWHERE with me. Always, always remember, NO NEWS IS GOOD NEWS. Keep yourself busy. Keep a journal of your days. He will appreciate reading it. And remember, on your worst days, you must stay strong for him. He's your reason for being. He's being strong for you so you should return the favor to him. I wish you all the best of luck. It will be over before you know it!

[SailorGirl124]

Thank you all so so much for the support! I'm so grateful to have found this site, you all are so helpful and it's so relieving knowing people are out there going through the exact same thing as me :) Big news, we're engaged!!! He proposed, he said he just couldn't wait haha so I drove to Jacksonville for the day and night that he was there alone and it was the best trip I've ever made. It was perfect! He couldn't leave till Wednesday so spending those last hours with him was amazing. He flew out yesterday and I've been a wreck, of course. I was over at his parent's house yesterday (his sister is my best friend) and I saw his shoes next to the door and just broke down. Over shoes! And later, I went into the bathroom and saw his razor and shaving cream and  Lord, did I cry. I felt silly but I miss him so incredibly much. And it doesn't help at all that he sounded absolutely miserable on the phone :( But I waited all night at work for his 30 second call, all my managers and co workers kept asking, "Did you get the call yet, Did he call yet?!" But finally he did and it was simply heartbreaking. Last night was the first night I've spent without him in months, I was up all night because I couldn't stop crying. And my 10 year old sister coming in and saying, "He'll be back before you know it," well, that didn't help at all and was the sweetest thing to hear. But thank you all so so much for the support, I'll keep you updated!