5 Stages of Boot Camp for Parents & Loved ones

[Micki (Yokosuka Japan~ USS GW)]

Hi All,

A boot camp Dad posted this on facebook and I thought is was so good, I wanted to share it her:

The Five Stages Of Loved Ones During Basic Training. Stage

1: Denial ... The first thought is one of disbelief. The person cannot believe their Loved One wants to join the Navy. (Are you kidding me???) This stage is often accompanied by deep sighs and a hope that sanity will return.

 

Stage 2: Anger “OK. Are you are just doing this to get even with me for something? Why are you trying to be mean me? Have you sought professional help?“

Stage 3: Bargaining “If you don’t go, I will cook your favorite meal EVERY DAY.”

Stage 4: Depression “OMG, (He /She) really is gone to Boot Camp. I won’t get a letter for TWO WHOLE WEEKS! And no phone calls for a MONTH! And I won’t get to see (him / her) for TWO MONTHS!!! Sigh… Life as I have known it is over… “

Stage 5: Acceptance “PIR is almost here!!! I am so excited!!! I am so proud!!! What am I going wear? How do I get there? Can my entire extended family attend? Can I stand next to my Sailor during PIR? Will there be an entire team of photographers and videographers dedicated to my Sailor’s every move? Can I meet (him / her) outside before they march in? Can I come live in their Division area with them until Graduation Day??? Etc… etc… And then suddenly, before you know it, you are sitting there and the door rises and in they march in to the Drill Hall ...

 

[BunkerQB]

B daniel, your husband is lucky to have your support. You have not idea how important it is and will be in the future. Your being there behind him and looking at this as a 100% together is just fantastic. I know from time to time, you'll feel down and alone - just feel free to drop in and you'll have many Navy supporters here to booster up your spirits.

(((hug)))

BQB

[MamaLamaDingDong: AO/Pensacola]

B daniel, I know it's been a couple of months since you posted this but I just wanted to check on you and see how things are going. I'm in the waiting for my daughter to go to MEPS and find out when she's shipping out stage, but I was also a Navy wife for 8 years so understand that your stages will be a little different! Hang in there! Keep supporting your hubby, even when you don't really want to be supporting the Navy (lol), and know that if you haven't experienced the pre deployment/pre return gamut of emotions from fighting to crying, that they are NORMAL and you or your hubby aren't suddenly turning into someone you're not! I've just started using this site, but plan to be here for a LONG time, so if you need extra support, as BunkerQB said, we're here!

[HeatherT(09/003)]

I have skipped the first three stages so far. I am excited my son finally picked a division of the military to go into. :) He always said he was going to go into the military... So maybe the correct statement is that I have had years to go through the first steps. Now I have hit the depression stage. My son doesn't leave until Sept. for BC but.... I am missing him already. The recruiter we have has been wonderful in includeding myself anf my husband in everything and talking to us about each step our son is going through. I laughed when I read some of the statements about how "You aren't going to sit around and do nothing till you leave for bbot camp", " you need to be running, swimming, push-ups etc.." , and my all time favorite, "You won't get away with that after you leave!"

My son laughs at me...but, I am truely worried he won't be prepared and won't pass boot camp or something. Or get into trouble because he cocks an attitude with the wrong person, or won't get up when called and has to suffer consiquenses.... (excuse my spelling please. :) ).

I guess I am just being a normal "Mom" but, I really want him to do well. sigh.... I just pray for the best now I guess.

Glad to see some others feel the same.

Thanks!

Heather

[Melody ship 11 / Div 177]

My son just left yesterday for BC. All I can think about is the first few days of NO sleep for him. I feel guilty going to bed at night, knowing he isn't. Ugh!! I have been keeping myself busy. I had to laugh, while cleaning his room, I found almost 25 empty water bottles under his bed.. I'm sure that won't happen in BC LOL! "Sigh"

[JMT1366 (Ship 3 - Div 188)]

I can relate to many of these posts.   The last 6 months I have been saying all the same things..."you really should get to the gym more" .. "you really should take a run" .. "you really should get more physically prepared" ..  He just looks at me and says....."yeah mom, I know"...."I'll be fine".....ugh!    So here I sit, the night before he leaves...sick to my stomach that he didn't follow my advice and won't make it through boot camp....all the stresses of worry are hovering over me now.   Why, why did he choose to do this.  I don't want him to leave.  I'm hoping he's not thinking....what the heck did I get myself into.  I can sense his stress level today....he's anxious and has no appetite.  I know his nerves are getting the best of him....but that's making me even more uneasy.  

I know that this is going to be such a wonderful opportunity and journey for him.  I just hope he does well in BC and that the next 8 weeks go by very fast....I pray that he will get through BC and accomplish great things in the Navy.  They say don't miss them before they leave, but I've been doing that for that last 6 months....eaiser said then done!  :(

[mumof4 (ship 02, div 932)]

He'll do fine.....at least that's what I keep telling MYSELF - our son leaves next week - so I'll be in your position one week from tonight!  :)  These kids are so resilient!  They are strong, determined, intelligent, capable sailor recruits, and they will do well!  They will grow so much over the next few months - they will go into basic boys/girls and graduate men/women! 

 

Good luck to your son....

[Teach]

He'll do fine.  My son graduated (PIR) last Friday.  He did nothing to prepare except sit on his duff and play XBox.  Oh, and eat me out of house and home.  They whip them into shape.  At the beginning he said "why didn't you talk me out of this".  At the end, he said, "This was really just summer camp with attitude."  So don't worry about your son. 

 

Bootcamp is a rollercoaster ride for them and us.  It has highs and lows for them and us.  You will both make it through and then look back, like I am now, and help somebody else make it through.  Our son is now a happy, confident Sailor.  I am so thankful for how tough they were on him.  Stay on N4M.  Join the group for your PIR date, after you find out what it is from his form letter and you will support each other through the 8 weeks.  My son would write one - two paragraphs a week.  So did most of the boys.  However, we would get on here and share our pieces and together we'd have an idea of what was going on.

 

The Navy is a great place for our boys to grow quickly into men.

[BunkerQB]

It's great you come back and let everyone know how your son is doing. We really need more moms to come back and help keep this the N4M site active. Please pass the following link to our Survival Guide to other new members.  Within the survival guide, they'll find links to the Boot Camp moms group, the PIR groups, the RTC site, videos, diagrams and more.  You just have to cut and past the following BOLD words (I have already linked the words to the page for the survival guide). I am also going to post the link to your page so you'll be able to find it in the future. And best of luck to your son in the future and thank him for us.

Survival Guide for Navy For Moms Newbies

[Jmchambers]

When my son came to me and ask what I thought about him joining the Navy, my first question was "why?"  I wanted to make sure that he wanted to join for all the right reasons.  He did not disappoint me.  He'd thought this out well and was clear about his objective and goals.  Then it seemed he was having trouble testing but, by the grace of God, he received a phone call stating that he would be accepted and all of the sudden things were happening fast!  Within 3 days we met with his recruiter, had a physical and was sworn in.  He has utilized his waiting time wisely.  Preparing himself physically and mentally for the changes about to take place in his life.  He is very excited about this new chapter in his life and I continue to be his biggest supporter.  I know that he will be successful and he will garner and reap so many rewards.  Although he has never given me an ounce of trouble; has always made good decisions in his life, I am proud of him and the direction he has chosen to go.  For me, as his mom, yes, it is bittersweet.  He is my last child at home and I now face living alone for the first time in my life. But my joy and peace comes from knowing that his life is leading him toward bigger and better things.  He leaves for basic training, Monday, April 30; Just 5 days and a wake up.  REVEILLE son!  Time to make your mark in this world!  :) 

[BunkerQB]

Congratulations. See my comment above this one. Click on the Survival Guide and watch the videos. If your son has not seen them, he should watch them too.

[BunkerQB]

Nrainygrl & JmChambers,

Faith is an important aspect of survival - in anything. I am glad you both can count on that - it's not necessarily logical - but people who have it adjust better. Your recruits are going to be fine. They are growing up and walking a path to be  productive adults. Don't forget to give yourselves a pat on the back for being good moms. We cry when our sons/daughters stand up on their own two feet and leave our nests. We spend years training them to do that but still we feel the emptiness when they do leave. The feeling will lessen - doesn't go away. We too will survive. I did. My sailor finished his 5 year commitment to the Navy, now he is looking for work - the next challenge - a part of the me wishes he still had the security of the Navy - funny, uh?

[HeatherT(09/003)]

Funny... I thought I was doing ok. Then today no idea why but in he walks and out hits me. He leaves n September and graduates n 3 weeks!!! His 18th birthday is Friday and wow!! Been a difficult day today. 
He tried on his graduation gown too... I have been doing good till now.  It was like wham n my face. I am really going to miss him when he is gone. We are really close always have been. I am going to have a harder time of this than I thought... Ugh... 
Just had to put this out there!! Thanks Navy moms!