There is a time

[Polarizeme]

When I first learned that my son was going to join the Navy, I was happy and excited for him. This was his big stretch out, spreading the wings and soaring. At least try to soar.  I did none of  the research, I made none of the decisions. I let him lead the way, completely.  He called and we talked a few times when he wasn't sure of the next step in the path.  I offered options and suggestions and left it at that.  He made all of the decisions, he OWNED them. I supported him.

There is a time in our children's lives that we need to step back and let them take the lead. It doesn't matter what the outcome is pass or fail. What matters is the learning from the victories and the losses. If we hold their hands every step of the way, even into adulthood, they will never learn to fly let alone soar. Standing back and watching your Son or Daughter navigate on their own is probably one of the hardest things you will ever do as a Parent. It's also one of the most necessary things you will do.

Take heart Moms and Dads, your Son is a man now, your Daughter a woman. Let them grow in that, just as we did and the many before us.

My Son, who grew into a Man will become a Sailor on June 1st. I am so proud of him, and I know he will be very proud to wear that uniform.  He did it all on his own, from running with the desire, to making his way through bootcamp.

Proud indeed!

 

[BunkerQB]

Thank you. It's really good to see more parents step up. Sorry for the delay in responding to your offer to help. If you can drop in on a regular basis and respond to questions posted or just provide a supportive comment here and there - it will make a world of difference to our new members. We have been very lucky to have ebigirl and TN Navy Mom helping. We do have a number of devoted volunteers who have been here for 2-3 years now - really great for a "support" organization. Of course support or our young sailors is worth it.  

I sent you a friend request.  Regards, BQB.

P.S. Just notice you are from Billings, MT. My younger son is back in Williston, ND - just got a job w a drilling company. He has been to Billings a number of times - likes it there. Such a small world. 

[Polarizeme]

Yes indeed! I just moved to Oregon, 4 days before my son's graduation!  Boy, that was fun

[Chimene]

I agree with ebigirl.This was very well said!  My son left for boot camp this morning. It is hard to let them go, but is it not a wonder to see your child become the adult you had hoped they would be.

[ebigirl]

Nutmegmom; You will be amazed at the change in your son when you see him at PIR. I have to be honest and say that the eight weeks that my son was in bc were the most emotionally wrenching weeks of my life. I had NO idea I would react the way that I did. It was the total non-communication except snail mail that did me in.

If it hadn't been for this website I think I would have totally lost my  mind. Yes, letting them go is very hard, but an absolute MUST unless you want them living with you for the rest of your life.

As I've said before I'm very lucky to have my son living close to me. He is a Reserve with the Seabee's and drills locally here in WA State. He is my only child, and I'm very very proud of him!

[Chimene]

I haven't cried, yet. But it is only day two. 

Polarizeme said "he owned them", it is the same with my son. When he made the decision to join he did the research on his own.  We went to the recruiters last year and they told him he was over weight.  He has since worked his butt off to lose 30 lbs. and to gain the stamina and physical shape to go thru boot camp.  

I believe it has helped my son (and me) to get to this point and beyond by having three GREAT recruiters.  Those three young men are a credit to the Navy!  I miss him, but I am so excited for him it doesn't leave much room sorrow. I think it is really important to show my son a proud, positive and happy attitude so he can look forward, not backward, worrying about me.

[ebigirl]

Such a great positive attitude!! You will be stunned at the changes in your son when you see him at PIR! It is NOT easy to let go...but we have to force ourselves to do just that.

Happy Mother's Day!!

[Polarizeme]

Great attitude! Thank you for that

[Polarizeme]

I'll be at graduation in the Great Lakes, maybe we can meet for a quick hello!

[CAHmom]

I couldn't  have put it better. Thank you for putting my feelings into words! My son left last Thur. for BC. How long should it be before I will get an address to send his letters? When will I be able to send a care package & what kind of things can you send? So many questions!

[ebigirl]

CAHmom; Sorry to say you are NOT allowed to send ANY type of care packages. You can send letters and cards, just make sure the cards do not sing. The RDC's will make an unwanted example out of your son who will NOT appreciate the singing card at all.

You will receive your son's "box" with his personal items in it if not at the end of this week the beginning of next week. Remember that Monday the 28th is a holiday. Shortly after that you will receive a form leter with his ship/division number and address to mail the letters and cards to. You can start writing now. Just number them and send them a couple at a time...the one thing our kids say they don't get enough of is mail. He won't be able to write to you or anyone else for about 2 weeks.

If you go back to the main page at the top of this page and scroll down to "A Parent's Survival Guide to Bootcamp" that one of our awesome veteran mom's put together, you will find the answer to probably all of your questions. If you still have questions, don't hesitate to ask...that's what this website is all about.

All of the feelings and questions you have now are normal. Welcome to NavyforMom's!!  :-) Ebigirl

[Polarizeme]

Well said! I might add, that I never received the form letter, but was able to get my son's address from the recruiter.

Be sure and tell any friends that want to write that there are rules against contraband, porn or any of that stuff.  I told all my son's friends to just hand write letters and wait to give him things they wanted after graduation. Unfortunately, one friend sent little cutout pictures of 'trolls". Consequently my son was 'made an example of" for about 30 minutes. it happens, and it's not the worst thing to happen to them.

Hang in there and give as much moral support as possible in your letters.

[[e-mail]]

Thank you for your words of encouragement and positive attitude about what new moms are going through, my son left for bc July 19th and it's been a difficult adjustment for our family.
It sure helps to read what you shared to keep my spirits up.
Thank you