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**UPDATE 4/26/2022** Effective with the May 6, 2022 PIR 4 guests will be allowed. Still must be fully vaccinated to attend.
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Almost half way there...
My boyfriend left 4 weeks ago and ive been doing great, but his letters are kinda brief because he doesnt have much time and his division isnt doing so well and im starting to get discouraged. Hardly any of my friends or family is encouraging, im starting to wonder if i can do this anymore. I know he really cares about me and loves me, its just hard to see it when their in bootcamp and away for so long. any encouragement? what should i do?
Views: 268
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by cakesyes on
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Hi Rochelle,
My daughter has a BF in Boot Camp and his PIR is June 15. My advice is to hang in there. Don't decide or assume anything during this time. This is not real life! You can decide once you are communicating regularly again if the relationship is durable enough to withstand the Navy, but for your sake, and your boyfriend's, just try to tough out this very difficult time.
My daughter has cried every single day since Jake left. The mornings are hard; the evenings are hard; it's hard when something good happens; it's hard when she has questions; it's hard when something bad happens; it's hard when she starts to doubt. It's just plain hard. There are people out there who understand. One thing she tells herself is that even though she only hears from him once a week, she's writing to him every day, so he's hearing her voice in her letters five or six days a week. He is not going to stop loving her or forget her. And your BF won't either, I bet.
As for being discouraged about the division not doing well, I was there recently and some other moms said they always tell the SRs that, and once I heard that, and realized that, of course they do, it's part of their mind game, I felt a lot better. They will get it together!
So, if you want encouragement to stay in it until BC is over, here it is: You can do it! Now is not the time to break up. Be strong for your SR and yourself and know that it will get better. You're halfway there! Being sad shows how much you care. The recruits are too busy and focused to fall apart, but that doesn't mean they don't miss you guys as much as you miss them. At least that's what I tell my daughter. Keep me posted!
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Permalink Reply by RochelleM on
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Thank you so much!! it really helps to hear other girls' stories :) i loved everything you said, it helped a lot, thank you :) ill keep your daughter in my prayers too! and i will keep you posted :)
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Permalink Reply by KXkel15 on
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Rochelle,
What division is he in? My husband has been up there for 4 weeks as well. They are kept very busy, and if they don't work together as a division they can have their writing privileges taken from what I understand. Just be strong, both for him and yourself! Write him every day because I can tell you he appreciates it very much. They all do. When he has more time to write I'm sure you will get a nice re-encouraging letter. I know it's hard, but I'm sure you will feel better once you get to see him again. Remember, you're half way there!! :)
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198! what division is your husband in? and i write him everyday and send him jokes and what not :) i hope he does! and thank you! :) hope your doing well too!
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Permalink Reply by nukewife1612 on
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My husband is also in this division! ship 11? Graduates june 29?
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yeahh! same here! lol i got a letter yesterday saying that he got sick, did your husband get sick too?
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very sick. I guess everyone did. It was something wrong with the water or something, apparently it was coming out yellow... never a good sign. But everyone got a sick day. He said it only lasted like 12 hours or so which is good. I love getting letters :) We try to have as much fun with it as we can since its really our only form of communication. We always say its like txting that asshole who takes 3 days to reply. Getting the letters gives me motivation to get through the first part of the week, then Wed when I get it i relax and then after reading it it gets me through till his next one. Are you moving out with him after boot camp? What is he wanting to do? Also as the lady said above, saying theyre doing bad is a mind game. My husband said there division has been excelling minus a couple people being asmod out.
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i love getting letters too! i look forward to wednesdays :) and no im not, ill be going to college. he actually got promoted to ceremony guard! so he'll only be 10 hours away, im sure ill get to see him a lot. and im glad to hear your husband said their doing good!
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Me again. Just thought of something else. I read in one of my other groups that a lot of guys have started getting break-up letters from their girlfriends. I'm guessing you don't want to be the kind of person who would break up with someone at a time like this. That is why I was glad to hear that my daughter and her BF decided that they wouldn't let that happen during boot camp. It's such a stressful, unique, and unnatural time for everyone, and for relationships, that it's not fair to anyone to make decisions now. I think I said that before, and I wanted to say it again. And I reread your post and am glad that you have actually been doing great. Good for you! Try not to worry too much about what or how much he's writing. As I read on another group, if he asked you to wait, it's for a reason!
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no, i would never break up with him during bootcamp, thats horrible. your last sentence is a very good point to! thank you so soo much :)
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Permalink Reply by kling on
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Rochelle, I know it's hard. It's REALLY hard...especially on some bad days when things would have been better if he was there. You start forming doubts in your head that wouldn't normally be there. My boyfriend left...6 weeks ago and there have been a handful of days where I felt just as discouraged as you probably feel right now and started asking myself absurd questions like "Is this even worth it..?" and EVERY time, the answer is YES! My friends tried to convince me to break up with him before boot camp, some even got really mad that I wasn't taking their advice about it, but if you love him and you know that he loves you back, then you can do it! :) We're here for you, so if your friends are anything like mine - just don't listen to them - and get the support you need here where there are plenty of us who know EXACTLY how you feel.
He's going through a lot of stress, you're going through a lot of stress - the best thing to do is just..to keep writing and wait until after you guys get to talk again before making any kind of decision, like cakesyes had said. You can do this! :)
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