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second time letting go is as hard as the first!
So Dylan's been gone 12 days now. Got the box, got the form letter. Still missing him horribly! This is his second exodus from our home in a quest to find his place, you'd think it would be easier but in some ways it is much harder now. The first time was when he decided to serve his Church and go on a two year Mission. Ugg, I am not an active member but was so proud he would give two years of service. That was hard, I cried for months. Would sit in his room (closest actually) and smell his scent and cry. He went to Japan and he did great! Came home "serve with honor" and he had a great time and learned two new languages.. who knew that in Japan Portuguese is one of the main languages spoken? Came home, went off to school for two years to be a get a DDS degree and then BOOM! I joined the Navy Mom call came one day. He finished up his AS degree, moved home and we waited for almost a year for his date. I put it out of my mind! My grown boy (one of each and he's youngest) was home, he was living here (paid his way) and everything was peachy, I denied it all. The day finally came and he left. You'd think that it would be easy to let him go again, I guess really for the 3rd time, since he went away to school, only a county away but still didn't live with us. I think this is harder because I know that this is really really for real. He has found his path and it is in the Military and it is for real. He has found who he is and who he wants to be. He is starting his “real” life not the one expected; go on a Mission, go to School, get Married and stay close to home. Adjusting to this is harder, I’ve let him go before but it never, ever felt so final. My boy has become a man and I have to trust that what time I had in his life to raise him then become friends with him this last year on a more than parent-child relationship him will carry him through. I am sad to have to let him go and become the best he can but so proud!!! Now I just need the (Freaking) first letter so I know he is ok! I am blessed though to have had the opportunity to have my grown son home and have him be my friend, not just my son. Sorry ranting.
Views: 168
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by JessicaB-Sailor Mom on
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Welcome back...here is the link to your PIR group
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Permalink Reply by navymom1992(Ship 12/Div 219) on
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NikiH I can really relate to "the becoming friends". Chris and I have always had a close relationship but over the past 9 months while awaiting his report date we developed a special relationship. We were able to spend time together and just talk. I watched him transition from a teen to a mature young man. The reason why this letting go seems so final is because they nor do we have any control of their life....but we believe in the greater good and the future they have been promised...We are proud yet are in angst hoping that they are doing well..So, I have put my son in the Lord's hands and know that He will take care of him!!!!
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I'm a Nuke mom also.
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Permalink Reply by dawny64 on
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NikiH in no way is this ranting we are all going through the same thing or as i have already been through it. And yes it is different because in all the other situations the lines of communication remained open. Don't worry it does get easier and no one understands like another navy mom. My youngest is a Sailor and i think it just the realization that they will never live at home again hits us moms before they ever even think about. My Sailor graduated from bootcamp 2 months ago and just realized he probably would never live at home again. I told him i knew this as soon as he told me he joined.Kind of glad they have a few months before they leave for basic so us Moms can adjust.
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Permalink Reply by stormy1123 ship 12 div 203 on
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Yes, I agree. It is a combination of not being able to contact them as we want, realizing they will probably never live at home again, and knowing that neither of us has any control over their lives, that makes this path so scary for us moms. I am so looking forward to graduation, then I realize that he will be leaving the next day and we begin the waiting again, just not as long, for the address, the letters, etc. At least in A school, I think we can visit at some point and spend a little more time. I hope we all get letters this week. A random phone call would be WONDERFUL, too!
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thank you for telling your story - - it means so much to all of us. We understand. You must be so proud. You should be. Your son has done wonderful things and will continue to so. You are right - the time between enlisting and leaving does give us (mom's) time to connect (completely) with our son's.
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