How do I get my family to understand?

[Kasula17]

I'm so happy to have found this group! Some of these relationships sound like mine and it's a relief to know i'm not alone. I "met" my HM through a mutual friend that goes to my University, and we talked on the phone and over skype for about a month while was at A school in Texas. I didn't actually meet him in person until after he graduated A school and was home on leave before his first duty station. By that time I felt like I'd already known him for forever. We only had 2 weeks together before he left, and because I still had classes we didn't even get the full 2 weeks together. But even in that short time I knew that he was worth waiting for and we made our relationship official the day before he left. He's been gone for four months now, and in the weirdest way it has been the lonliest but also happiest four months of my life. I never imagined it would be this hard, but every time I get to skype him or get a phone call it makes it all worth it. I really can't complain because I'm fortunate enough to get to speak with him almost every day, but I still miss him terribly.

My family is not exactly unsupportive, but because I met him while I was away at school, they never actually met him before he left. My family is happy because they see that I am happy, but they have voiced concerns about how serious our relationship is when we haven't gotten to spend that much time actually together. They have also commented on things like how I'm always staying up late to talk to him (there's a significant time difference between where he is and where I am). I'm 19 and I know that seems young, but i've always been mature for my age and I have a level head- I don't feel i'm rushing into anything or being distracted from my studies.  I don't know how to explain it to my family. Is there something I can say? Or is this just one of those things they just won't be able to understand?

I know you ladies have a wealth of knowledge and lots of experience, has anyone else gone through something similar? I'd appreciate any advice you're willing to share!

[Kasula17]

Lol my mom originally said the same thing, "you're in boston, there's plenty of other boys there" etc. So I know what you mean. Thank you for the advice! I've been making a more conscious effort to keep my mum in the loop about how he's doing, how happy he makes me and little things like that and I think she has definitely started to get more used to the idea of him and I being in a serious relationship. Of course my dad is a bit of a different story, but I guess that's typical of dads- to be overprotective of their daughters and attempt to intimidate the boyfriends. I was hoping he'd be coming home this summer but now its kind of up in the air again...I hope they can meet him soon though!

[Anti M]

This sounds like my nephew, who is on a sub out of Groton, and his GF in GA.  She just graduated from high school (last week I think).  So he is a little older, but not by very much, and he has gone to visit once or twice.  She is very dedicated to her education, which is why her family is not negative about their relationship.  They have very little contact because sub communications are extremely limited when he deploys. But they hang in there, and she talks to me on FB.  I like her, even though I've yet to meet her.  I'm in Utah, which is my nephew's home state.  

Ha, tell your mom a long distance boyfriend can't get his girl pregnant via Skype.    That has to be a plus, doesn't it?  (jk, but wouldn't you love to see the reaction?)

[Kasula17]

I did meet his parents before he left and his mom is incredibly supportive, she and I email and have gotten together since he left which has been great. Haha the look on my mums face if I told her that would probably be priceless :)

[Eliza03]

I'm going through the exact same thing! I'm 18 and met my sailor on a social networking site. We talked for a while before actually meeting, and we only had a few weeks together before he had to ship out to California for three weeks. My situation is a bit easier because my parents were able to meet him before hand, but they still aren't thrilled with the fact that I'm dating a sailor. My father is a retired Chief so this is pretty much his worst nightmare. What I've found that helps is just talking about him to your folks. I know it has already been brought up once but I feel it definitely deserves to be mentioned again. Every time he posts a picture of the sub he's on or of him in his uniform I show them. Any details he tells me I share with them. I tell them about his day and what he has been up to lately. Any bit of information I get I share with them. Sometimes they make smart aleck remarks, sometimes they actually listen. It doesn't really matter which. What matters is that they get accustomed to him coming up in every day life, and that they see how happy and dedicated to him I am. That's probably your best defense against their hostility towards the relationship. Your parents care for you and your happiness is important to them. And if he makes you happy then who are they to say no? I wish you the best of luck!