First deployment

[Lacey741]

My sailor is on the IKE and just left for deployment. This is also our first deployment and every since they left I've had this lonely empty feeling. At what point does this go away?

[Absoltuekraze]

For me it usually takes a few weeks to start feeling normal again. And it doesn't ever truely go away, it just becomes less frequent, and you learn to let yourself feel it for a second and then move on.
my husband left a little while ago and Im finally over that hump. I still think about and miss him constantly, but I try to think of happy times and relive good memories instead of being depressed about his absence.
doesnt always work, but I try :)

[Jess_0411]

I'm an Ike wife too (: This is our second deployment. Honestly, it never goes away. You just learn to deal with it. Some days are hard and some are so easy you almost feel bad. Find ways to stay busy. Get involved in the FRG. In the Social and Homecoming Coordinator, and I will have plenty of volunteer opportunities over deployment. Get a job. I work full time and that keeps me insanely busy. Go back to school or to school if you have never been to college. Make small goals to meet along the way. Have at least one activity planned every week to look forward to so that you're looking at events that are close and tangible, not months away. Get into a routine. Don't sit at home and mope all day, lol. You and I both know that this deployment is going to be a doozie since it is WAY longer then the average deployment. Keep your chin up and know that you have an amazing support system of Ike wives who have your back. We are the Ike Family (:

[Lacey741]

Thank you for the support... I definitely have to get out this house, everyday seem so long. I just moved back to VA and I need to re-establish a routine and get involved in some volunteering. And I will take as advantage of my IKE support system.
Thanks

[cesimon929]

My bf is on the USS Hue City and I know that the deployment is supposed to be longer than usual, do you know anymore details about this? Is it just specific ships or the entire striker group? I know the wives get more information than the gfs so I was just curious if you knew more. I'm just praying they don't stay out the full 9 months... I'm sure you feel the same way. 

[meagan5220]

Typically the deployment is the same length for the entire strike group. They go out together and stay together mostly and come home together. If they have a lenght for the deployment they typically dont cut it short. Our deployment was supposed to be 5 months. It got extended to 8-9. With the Navy I always say expect the worst hope for the best. I know its really hard. I cant honestly say if it would be harder to start off knowing it was that long or thinking it was way shorter and getting extended. I just know how our two extensions felt, like someone was stabbing me in the heart but its best to take it one day at a time and try to think as positive as possible! I have been seeing that certain ships are getting shorter deployments while other ships end up getting longer ones. Just luck of the draw I guess :(

[Anti M]

And then on top of it all is the OPSEC rules which prohibit putting out specific timelines and dates.  That's why even the wives get left in the dark about ship's movements.  Hard enough to deal with a deployment, but the not knowing and knowing you aren't supposed to talk about what you do know, makes it very confusing.  

[meagan5220]

Very true Anti M!! When people ask when my husband will get home I say ohhh sometime later this summer maybe orrr sometime in the fall lol or I say well they promised they would be home by Christmas. People dont get the whole I cant tell you bc of OPSEC typically so thats what I tell them to get em off my back and get them to stop bugging my husband lol but its just a broad range up to 5 months from here lol! Unfortunately apparently the sailor on my husbands ship have started getting really bad about it. I always say if its in the future just dont talk about it. Future ports, future dates and never ever ever more specific than a month. Even then I never tell the month.

[Anti M]

You do set a good example!   

[meagan5220]

Thanks! I try! lol my friends all say I am an OPSEC Nazi!! lol They text me and ask how long port stops are or when they are coming home lol I always say come see me at my house and we can talk about it. haha

[meagan5220]

Its certainly hard. I am coming up to the end of my first (I am super thankful we should have been home almost 2 months ago!)

 

while its hard, and I have my hard days where I dont leave the house lol Everyday it gets easier bc its always one day closer! I broke the deployment down into care packages. I poured a lot of thought into every one and I had a theme for every one! I typically went with holidays. so christmas, new years, valentines day, our anniversary, st patricks day, easter, fathers day, 4th etc. :) It gave me something to look for while I was out shopping! Stay busy for sure! It helps soo much!! I am starting my couponing back up too! I have a list of major goals to complete by the end of the deployment and I also have started a list of daily chores to start next week and I was going to workout but had some medical issues come up which made that harder. I have two pups and they keep me super busy too! When I am having a bad day I take what I have now termed a "mini bath" lol I sit on the floor of the shower while the shower is running and I just let it all out.. I yell, cry, think, anything I need to do to feel better. Then I let it wash down the drain and stand up and get on with my day. Find something you would like to volunteer with or something that keeps your mind busy. I always tell girls just because you are happy while he is gone doesnt mean you are a bad person it simply means you have learned how to cope and you can be happy with yourself. Also time goes by faster when you are happy and enjoying it! This deployment was quite a hard blow for myself and many other wives because it was supposed to be over so long ago. But I moved during this deployment and that has kept me busy as well! I love cooking too so I started looking all over pinterest finding new recipes to cook when he gets home! I would certainly say break it up! Its easier to get through a month at a time and even easier to get through a day. Some girls dont like looking at each day bc it makes it feel longer but its whatever works best for you!

 

This quote has been my mantra this deployment and I love it! I find one of the hardest things is remembering that they still love us even if they cant tell us that day or we cant talk to them as much as we want or they arent the best at telling us through email lol :) but just know that he does!

 

“If ever there is tomorrow when we're not together... there is something you must always remember. you are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think. But the most important thing is, even if we're apart... I'll always be with you.”
― A.A. Milne

[Lacey741]

You had so many good ideas and advise

Thank you

[meagan5220]

You are welcome! I am wrapping up this deployment soon hopefully lol but its all fresh bc I am living it everyday! OH also when they pull into ports they have a chance to skype usually at the USO if he doesnt already you might think about settin up an account for him and getting yourself a webcam. My parents just bought a good one for $40!! so not too pricey! I had to set my husbands account up and I just made it easy for him to remember lol :) skype is soo awesome!