5 Stages of Boot Camp for Parents & Loved ones

[Micki (Yokosuka Japan~ USS GW)]

Hi All,

A boot camp Dad posted this on facebook and I thought is was so good, I wanted to share it her:

The Five Stages Of Loved Ones During Basic Training. Stage

1: Denial ... The first thought is one of disbelief. The person cannot believe their Loved One wants to join the Navy. (Are you kidding me???) This stage is often accompanied by deep sighs and a hope that sanity will return.

 

Stage 2: Anger “OK. Are you are just doing this to get even with me for something? Why are you trying to be mean me? Have you sought professional help?“

Stage 3: Bargaining “If you don’t go, I will cook your favorite meal EVERY DAY.”

Stage 4: Depression “OMG, (He /She) really is gone to Boot Camp. I won’t get a letter for TWO WHOLE WEEKS! And no phone calls for a MONTH! And I won’t get to see (him / her) for TWO MONTHS!!! Sigh… Life as I have known it is over… “

Stage 5: Acceptance “PIR is almost here!!! I am so excited!!! I am so proud!!! What am I going wear? How do I get there? Can my entire extended family attend? Can I stand next to my Sailor during PIR? Will there be an entire team of photographers and videographers dedicated to my Sailor’s every move? Can I meet (him / her) outside before they march in? Can I come live in their Division area with them until Graduation Day??? Etc… etc… And then suddenly, before you know it, you are sitting there and the door rises and in they march in to the Drill Hall ...

 

[BunkerQB]

Your won't need the link to your PIR group but the rest of the information will give you a broad perspective on how things work. BTW, I am going to post this on your page, so you'll be able to find it any time you need. In particular the "Family Guide" from the RTC is your official handbook from the Navy.  This will answer many of your questions.

Survival Guide for Navy For Moms Newbie (clickable link). You'll find everything you need to get started. Videos, PDF files of boot camp processing days, links to all the important groups plus tips on how to use this site. Keep in mind the videos and PDF files may take some time to download the first time you try it. It'll look like nothing is happening. Be patient.

[Kurtmansmom]

well, I coulnd't said it better myself. That has my name written all over it. I tried even getting him is own apartment, but that didn't work. Now I'm happy most of the time and sad a little of the time. This site has helped me so much, I thought I was only the crazy one! He leaves for BC June 13 right after HS graduation. thanks MICKI for that posting!

[BunkerQB]

Always,

I just added the link to the Survival Guide on your personal page.  Yes, everyone with a profile on N4M has a personal page.  Just click MY PAGE on the menu bar, then scroll down on your comment wall.  It's there in case you want to post the link on another member's page. Just copy and paste (left click, drag mouse over the words, right click, point mouse on "copy", then go to where you want to post the info, place your pointer there, right click, point mouse on "paste", then left click)

Surf this site - there's lots of good info in many places.  Some days, you can just sit and read and read. 

[ngstephy (Ship 11/Div 249)]

Thank you for sharing this.  I just want to cry at this moment.. 

[Sue Ellen]

My daughter first mentioned to me that she might join the Navy a couple of years ago... back then I went thru the denial stage but I told her that she needed to make an informed decision.  I encouraged her to take her time to decide and when she was ready I would support her every move.  She took 2 years to decide and when the time came she stepped up and joined and left for bootcamp May 22, 2012.  I am very proud of her.  She follows in the footsteps of my father, her grandfather, who spent 32 years in the Navy.  She signed up for 6 years and I know she will do her best.  I told her this before she decided, you don't join the military to get a free ride to school, you don't join the military to run away from your problems, you don't join the military to get nothing out of it.. You join the military because you love your country and the freedom that we have.  You join the military to defend the USA and her Constitution. You have to be willing to give your life so others can live free.  I am very proud of my child because for once, she listened to me and made a very grown up decision about what she wants out of life.

 

[Sharon(Ship12Div219)]

I never went through 1 thru 3. My son decided to serve his country when he was 14. Stage 4, on the other hand, was overwhelming! Now, I'm counting down the days until graduation. 17 to go!!!! (Still deciding on an outfit)

 

[BunkerQB]

We have all gone down this path a few times.

If you feel like a good cry, go ahead. My preference was to cry in the privacy of my own home and make no excuses for it. That way, I didn't have to explain anything to anyone. Crying is a way we deal with emotions that are overwhelming. Don't forget moms, some of you may be heading towards menopause and naturally, you may be more emotional. There are so many emotions stored inside that we suppress in order to do all that we do as moms. When a child (doesn't matter where he/she is first or last) leaves the nest, a safe haven lovingly created and nurtured for years by mom, the child is ready to go - ready to discover the world and ultimately create his own nest for himself (and his mate, if all goes well). The mom may or may not be ready. A working mom may think, wow I finally have some time to myself. A stay at home mom may think, gosh I can go back to school and get my degree and a job. Or perhaps, a stay-at-home mom may think what am I going to do now?  I have been a good mother, done everything expected of me. I don't have a clue about what my role is now.  Note: my understanding is that once the grand babies come, the role is instantaneously crystal clear.

[Sue Ellen]

Well, my daughter has made it thru the halfway mark..  she had to get her wisdom teeth pulled the Friday before Father's Day and missed her Divisions first phone call home because she was in Sick in Quarters for 2 days.  But she wrote us letters and we learned that she got a Recruit 3rd Class Petty Officer's Pin.  Just a reward for hard work and determination and it also means she has been given some extra responsibilities as well.  Her recruiter was very helpful in answering questions for me and he was happy that called and let him know she's doing well.  I am very proud of her even though I miss her very much.  I cannot wait until July 20th her PIR and Graduation. Go Navy !!! :)

[Mercita]

So true my son leaving today his flight to book camp . I'm on the 4th stage now . Sad mom...... My youngest son graduated high school in may now gone to boot camp today :(

[Mercita]

Mean boot camp. I can't even type straight .

[Leisa Ship13 Div309 Grad 9-28]

missing my son today, has been 1.5 weeks, think i am doing good but then a rush of anxiety overwhelms me and then tears...thats all i have thought it would be better to put in words, back to the dishes

 

[Jforster]

the letters will start coming on a regular basis soon. My son's PIR is this Friday. He has been able to call more often and even saw him on FB the other day. When I talked to him today, he was so excited about his assignment. This is their time to grow up, be men and make us proud moms. Hang in there!