Boyfriend left 6/25/12...need some support!!

[dukelvr]

Okay, so I'm brand new to this site and let me just say, it's comforting to know that others are going through the same thing I am. However, the pain is still here and I can't seem to escape from it. I've dated my boyfriend for almost 2 years, and we did have a break in that time frame. During that time is when he decided to sign up for the navy. Lets just say, I was devastated. I always told myself I wouldn't date someone in the military, now look at me. So like I said, he left on Monday the 25th, today is Saturday the 30th, and all I seem to know how to do is cry. He called me at 12:45 EST (so technically early, early Tuesday morning). It was a minute phone call and he said he would call me in 2 weeks, I hope that's true. I've already written him a letter, even sent him FB messages even though he wont get it for 8 weeks. I just feel horribly alone right now, and my biggest fear is that we are going to grow apart and he wont want me anymore. Thinking that upsets me more and brings on a waterfall of tears. These 2 weeks are going to be hard, since we can't have any calls or letters. I just wanted to hear other stories and if there is any advice y'all can give me. I'm trying to stay busy, but it doesn't seem to help. It seems like I think of him every minute of the day, and I just can't get him out of my head. I'm worried, scared, and I just want that feeling to end. I'm already picturing when he calls me and I feel like all I'll be able to do is cry because I've missed his voice so bad. But anyway, sorry for the rant. I just feel like I could meet others that understand what I'm going through. Anything will help!!!

[dukelvr]

Where do you live? If you don't mind me asking..lol. I live in North Carolina and I swear I looked up a round trip and it was $300. But I also have to factor in hotel, to rent a car (which I'm only going to be 22 so I don't think i can), plus food and whatever else. I just feel like it's going to add up to the point where I can't afford it. I'm going to look up southwest and see what they say too, though.

[kage39]

Oh im in the sunny state of california haha. Im going to my boyfriends graduation with his parents and sister though. Im paying for my plane tickets but you may not need a rental car if you book reservations at a certain hotel.. I think it was a marriot and it was like 2-3 miles away from the naval base they graduate from in illinois. I just turned 18 by the way so its kinda lucky his folks are bringing me along.

[dukelvr]

Aw, well you're lucky that people are going with you!! I messaged his mom on FB and she wasn't sure if she was going because she has a lot of stuff going on. And if she can't go, then more than likely I wont just because I can't afford everything by myself :( Plus, it would terrify me to be alone..that's just the way I am. So there are numerous hotels that have a shuttle straight to the graduation ceremony??

[kage39]

Haha well his parents did but i paid them back but yeah i think it was directly SW

[kage39]

And hey dukelvr - thanks for posting, haha its nice to have someone goin through the same steps and time i am, to talk to :) let me know if i can help any more!

[dukelvr]

Yeah of course!! It's nice to meet all you amazing women!! Lucky for you though you're halfway through basic! I'm still on week 1 :( At least, I think this is week 1? Haha, the whole scheduling confuses me. I know he left the 25th, but I read a lot about P-Days and what not..but I'm hoping that week 2 starts this Monday (July 2nd). I guess we'll have to wait and see!

[sea_sick]

It is like you are writing from my experiences. My sailor and I started dating in HS over 6 years ago. We were together for 3.5 years and then broke up the summer before college, even though we were going to the same school. Over the next two years we rarely talked and when we did it was not very nice. This Christmas he texts me and asks if he could come over and I said yes. He ended up apologizing for everything he did and saying that he missed me and that his biggest regret in the world was how he treated me toward the end of our relationship. We hung out and kissed and reconnected, but that was all. He left for boot camp early jan. and we wrote a few letters back a forth. Then out of no where he called me up and told me he had never stopped loving me and he thinks about me every day and that he still wants to have a future with me and he has never been as happy with anyone else and he wants me back and all of that. So we have been dating since then. He flew me to CA for a couple of days, he came back home for 6 days a month ago, and when he graduates from his MN school I will either fly to CA or he will be back here and then he will deploy for at least a year. It is hard. I worry about all of the things that could happen to him and that could happen to us. But one thing that has changed with him since he joined is that he is more protective and wants what is best for me. He is growing up and that is allowing him to make up for the time that we were apart and he was acting like a child. It is hard. I spent FOREVER crying when he left. I lost a ton of weight when he left. I fell asleep holding his letters and praying for him to want to be with me again (that was before he called me up). I drove over an hour to go get his letters when he did send one. Every song made me think of him. Every romantic movie made me think of him. I thought of him constantly no matter what. It does get better. Every week brings a little more acceptance. You will still miss him, but you will start to be more interested in how you can make it easier on him and how you can support him. Don't worry about growing apart. His whole world is changing and he will hold to the one constant that he has, you. 

[dukelvr]

Wow, that's just amazing. All I can say is, you are SUCH a strong person!! Is he going active or something?? The fact that he is going to be gone for such an extended period of time touches me so much! That thought terrifies me because I don't think I could do it; I couldn't be that strong. My boyfriend told me he wouldn't go active, and I pray that he doesn't. But ultimately it is his decision. I know he has basic for 8 weeks and then his A-School. He said it will take 6 months, and after seeing what you said, 6 months seems like nothing. I am just truly amazed how many women have men out there right now. I never realized it until I became one of those women..it's kind of crazy. And I completely agree with you, every little thing reminds me of him! He left me his comforter and pillow so I sleep with them every night! (Even though I have 7 other pillows on my bed!) Haha. He even gave me some of his cologne that he always uses. I'll admit, his comforter has lost that "smell" that reminded me of him, nothing bad..it was just a "him" smell..very comforting. So I've sprayed the cologne and just envision that he his here with me. (Sounds corny, but I feel like I need it). I hope it does get easier week to week. Just this time last week we were spending the night together, our last night before he had to leave. I would give anything to have that moment again right now though. By the way, I love your last sentence..that really had me wanting to cry..I'm an overly-sensitive person anyway. But even though I don't know you, that really meant a lot. Thank you!!!

[kage39]

Hahaha it doesnt sound weird at all about he comforter thing, my bf gave me a stuffed animal i got him for valentines day from on his bed and i then i stole some of his shirts and wrap it around the lion :) i totally ge the smell thing.. U never realize it til its not there.. Hahaha.

[dukelvr]

Yeah, it's kinda sad :( I'm like, "It's only been a week, why doesn't it smell like him anymore!" But yeah this time last week we were spending our last couple hours together. Just thinking about it makes me want to cry. I don't see how I'm going to get through these 6 months. I'm hoping it's just 6 months anyway, I'm not even completely sure though.

[amor]

wait, what do you mean six months?? boot camp is only two months, don't worry!! then a-school, then he goes to wherever he's stationed. but the minimum the guys have to sign up for is 4 years of active duty.

[dukelvr]

Well yeah boot camp is 2 months, and then his A-School. I think he told me everything would take 6 months, like hopefully he will be back in January. And what do you mean, "the minimum the guys have to sign up for is 4 years of active duty"? My boyfriend said he wasn't going to go active...so does that mean he has too??