Distance after visits.

[eyeronics]

Hi ladies :)

So I just wanted to know if what my boyfriend and I are going through is something that maybe you go through in your relationship with your sailor. He's been in the Navy for 6 months now and I've visited him three times in these past 6 months. Every time I see him it's amazing. It's so good to be back with him, hanging out, being ourselves again, etc. But, once I get home there is a weeklong period where things are kind of distant between us. I miss him like crazy as soon as I leave because our visit makes me remember how great it is to spend time with him, so right away I want to talk to him and stuff while he kind of distances himself from me (not too much- just a few texts and a phone call a day). I just got back from my third visit to see him and he is doing it again so I brought it up. He says that he does it himself because he needs to be strong and calling me right away and admitting how hard it is to see me leave and how great the time we spent together was, he'll just break down and it'll be too hard to get back into a normal routine. Now, after writing all of this out it totally makes sense to me- I need to be stronger for him. Just wondering if ya'lls relationship has ever been like this/ is like this when it comes to the long distance.

And I know a lot of you women are used to not seeing your loved ones for months and hardly getting to talk to them so I apologize for my whining about the "distance" of only one phone call and a couple of texts a day. I only call it distance because it is usually much more than that!

Thanks

[Absoltuekraze]

I've found the same thing happens with us too. When he's out on the ship, even if he's in port, I won't hear much. Usually a quick message once a day. As it gets closer to his return, or if he knows I'm struggling with something back home he puts in more of an effort. In the end I think it makes it easier for both of us. It helps me get into the swing if being alone again but we still keep in contact and up to date on day to day events.

Sometimes I get upset about it and I try to remind myself how much harder it is for him to communicate when he's out, and remember that he loves and misses me as much as I do him. Doesn't always work, but I try :)

[eyeronics]

Okay good, glad I'm not the only one! Thank you :) I have a list of things I need to remind myself daily lol!!

[eyeronics]

Whew. I was afraid people were going to say that him being distant is weird! Thanks for sharing Jade :) I need to let him have his space and not be so needy when he is just trying to be strong.

[NavyDoll Ebony]

Well for me when i visit with my fiance or he visits me, i tend to become an emotional wreck. He's been in Navy since Dec. He came home for a 5 day visit last week and left Sun. At the beginning of his visit everything was fine. Gettin to the last two days i started to like push him away a lil bit. I would nagg and complain about things if they werent going perfectly because i felt like i wanted every single moment to be perfect. Anyway on the morning he was leaving my emotions were all over the place and i wanted to just stay wrapped in his arms while trying to push him away at the same time. I know it sounds crazy. And when he got back to San Diego i was kind of nonchalant when i spoke to him. I realized about myself that i was trying to push him away because i was so scared of going through being away from him again. I kind of didnt want to deal with reality. I was depressed the whole day that he left and i went to sleep on it and woke up the nxt morning and realized that i really do need this man in my life. And he needs me. No matter how hard this is for us i have to throw on my big girl panties and deal with it because this is my love. Im taking it one day at a time and trying not to let the Navy separate us.

[eyeronics]

Aw I am sorry to hear about your troubles. I know exactly how you feel.. I tend to get pissy during our visits because he always just wants to relax in the hotel, while I want to jam pack our time with fun things to do-trying to make things perfect. Then he explains to me (for like the 100th time) that he just wants to spend time with me and not let anything else get in the way of that. Just remember that no matter how hard it is to be away from him, it would be worse to not have him in your life. We have to be supportive and strong! If you've seen Act of Valor, I always try and picture that scene in the beginning when the guy says goodbye to his smiling wife and when she closes the door she breaks down. If you haven't seen it you should google that scene. We should all strive to be like her lol.