Daughter leaves in 3 days... I'm emotionally sinking

[ModestoAngel (IT/ATF Pensacola)]

My daughter leaves on Monday (7/24) but I'm not ready to let go. I know I have to though. I went in with my daughter to recruiting office today and jokingly asked for 1 more week. Although my heart was sincere I know she has to leave on Monday. We have been doing a lot of activities together. Has been a very fun week. Today we went to go see Brave. Very good movie. Mind you, instead of being a distraction, it made me cry. I was just sobbing at this one part because I was able to relate so well to the bond mother and child had. Heather grabbed my hand and cuddled up to me in theater and wiped my tears away. Isn't it supposed to be the other way around? I can definitely tell you that when she leaves my heart WILL be going with her. With that I knew inside that she is strong enough to get through BC. If she can hold her momma up then she can hold anything up.

I can't for a moment let her out of my sight. Right now every minute counts that I'm with her. I take her everywhere with me. I don't want to waste a moment that we can be together. I almost feel like I'm smothering her, but I know these are our last few days. After she leaves, everything changes. She will return to me 'all grown up'.

I dread that initial phone call. I know I'm going to anxious for it but knowing and hearing how 'scripted' it is, and the fact that I really won't be able to talk to her, is going to break me into pieces. I've NEVER not been able to talk to her.

I take her to MEPS Monday (or her recruiter does) and will spend the rest of day with her. When she has to go to her room I'm going to head over to a friends house and stay there so I'm not alone. Tuesday morning I'll get up and my friend will go with me back to MEPS for her swearing in. After she gets on her shuttle to airport we will drive to meet her there and stay till she leaves. This will be my toughest part. The final good byes. I'm hoping I can hold back my tears until she is on plane and I'm out of sight. I know that's where I'm going to break. My friend will drive back and I'll stay that night with him again and he will wait for the call with me. Being alone after she leaves it not the best of idea for me.

I've told myself over and over it's only a little over 2 months. I used to send her to spend summers with her dad. Two and half months every year. We lived in Canada at that time and her father was in TX. But then I could talk to her. We'd Skype every day or text on phone. She would always cry she wanted to come home early but never had the heart to tell her dad. I know I will get through this. However, right now I'm heartbroken.

[Alvarezmom]

ModestoAngel. I know how you feel my son leaves Monday too. At least your daughter is spending time with you! My son is distancing himself from me. He doesn't want want me at MEPS or swearing in. U keep reading from others this is normal. Doesn't make it easier in me. I will alone when the recruiter comes for him Monday. I know I will break then. Hang in there. We are all in this together. Message me if u like.

[navymomson#2]

I did not go to MEPS with my son either. We wanted to go but he felt that it would just be a replay of the day before. The more I thought about that ,the more I felt he was wise beyond his years. He knew what we went through saying goodbye at home.He said he just wanted and needed to go forward alone. I think everyone deals with this situation their own way.  We have to respect their decisions now. As hard as it is for us sometimes. They will be making all kinds of decisions on their own. We just need to love and support them . Good luck on Monday

[julieb1019]

ModestoAngel and Della Beach  hugs to you and all Moms whose kids leave so soon.  It has been a year since my son left for boot camp and his is now a Seabee in Gulfport.  It is heart wrenching now as you go through this experience of letting go.  In your logical mind you know that it is just a few short weeks for BC  but it means so much more --leaving home. I was convinced that things would never be the same and in some ways it is true but you always have your kid  and things will be the new normal after PIR.  Hang in there all the support is here for you you are not alone!!!

[navymomson#2]

You will get through this.If I can anybody can. My son left on July 11. We spent as much quality time together that a 21 yr old male would allow. When that day came it was sooo tough. He told me that I needed to be strong for him and he was right. They are the ones leaving their home and their friends behind. We all had are moments of tears but when he left with his recruiter we stayed in the house and he walked to the car. He did not want to see our tear stained faces as he drove away. It made it easier for him. We spent that day crying and wondering how we could go on without him? It has been 10 days now and it does get a little less emotional, although I still have my moments. When you receive her stuff in the mail it brings it all back. Just be strong! 

[MamaLamaDingDong: AO/Pensacola]

ModestoAngel. Hang in there. These "last" few days are rough on us mom's! We know they're strong, we know they're capable! I keep telling my friends who tell me, "She'll be fine, she'll do great" that I'm not worried about her! It's me who's falling apart! lol. Yes, it's hard, and yes, as others have said, we need to "mom-up" and do what our sailors ask us (not going with them or going with them), but also, we need to grieve the passing of the "kid" years and plan for the amazing future of the "you'll always be my baby even if you're an adult and live 5000 miles away" years! So, let the tears flow, just don't let them "overflow" your life. Hold tight to your friend who is supporting you in this and find a way to encourage yourself each day. I get on my daughter's facebook account and leave her a message every day that she'll be able to read whenever she finally is able to get on line. I also think about special things I can do for her once she gets stationed somewhere that I can send real packages to! I've been making a list of surprise boxes that I can send everyonce in a while. That's helped keep my mind off of the negative and focused on the positive. In any case, we're here for you and we truly know what you're going thru! The good and the bad! Keep in touch!

[Lockhartgma]

Dear Della Beach, my grandson, who has lived with me since he was a baby, is leaving on Wednesday. I cry every time I sign on and read how "not alone" I am with my feelings! But we have to let them go and really, how much safer can they be then in the care of the Navy? I don't think I can handle the airport, I think we are going to say goodbye after MEPs at Fort Sam Houston in San Antonio. I will have his very sad fiance with me as well so I am not certain I can handle my tears and her tears at the same time! I also keep telling myself it is only 9 weeks but that seems forever when you can't talk to them at all! (I'm still not to the point I think that rule is necessary!). We will all get through this together so hang in there. We know we will cry when we say goodbye or at the oddest moments when something reminds us they aren't with us and we can't just pick up a phone and call or text, but we will get through it. Good luck to your daughter! If she runs into a tall, dark haired young man from Austin Texas tell her to say "Howdy". 

[ModestoAngel (IT/ATF Pensacola)]

Well... I'm sitting here in the lobby of hotel waiting for my daughter to check in with MEPS. She is the one going to boot and she's calm and not as nervous as she expected herself to be. I'm the wreck here. Managing well to hold tears back. It was hard for her to say bye to her little brothers. Especially the 4 year old. I know it's going to be harder for her to say bye to me. I went to bed last night and woke up in middle of night and she had climbed in bed with me and had fallen back to sleep holding on to me. Like she always did when she was little. I know she will be ok. It just hurts knowing she is going to hurt because she is homesick. Not to mention the fact that I'm gonna miss her like crazy. I hope you other moms are doing ok thought this. I never imagined feeling like this when she signed up in jan.

[Rox (FN-EM/Nuke School)]

So how are you moms doing? My son left us yesterday. I did get one last cell phone call when the plane landed last night, but nothing after that. No scripted call. And I really didn't sleep well, thinking the phone would ring at midnight.

MamaLamaDingDong(Ship 14 DIV 290 - I love how you put it when you say we are grieving the "kid" years, that is so true. We did not go to the airport. It was his first plane ride. He called and said, 'I'm in the airport, standing in front of Starbucks!' It was so funny! Then the last call was about how cool the plane ride was and how very much he loved us.

I can't wait to meet the young man who will be standing in place of my 'kid' on the other side of the next 8 weeks!!!