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Marriage before enlisting
My fiance is getting ready to join the Navy and my mother (a Navy wife) and another Navy wife have both advised us to get married before he leaves for boot camp. Can we do this and is it a good idea?
Views: 2625
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by autibug on
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As someone who just went through this exact dilemma before my SR left for boot this is the advice I would give. It you are 100% positive you are going to get married anyway I would say do it. It makes more money and makes things easier in general if and when you decide to move where he is. Also you never know if and how much leave he will be given and how soon so it could take longer than you both think or want to get married. If you are having your doubts I would wait.
For me my boyfriend and I went and picked out rings and everything but he said he just wasn't quite sure if he was ready to get married. So he left 8/21 for boot camp and last week he got to call me and proposed to me while on that call and told me to go get the rings we had picked out. Now we are getting the run around about when we will be able to get married and if I can even go with him.
So yeah I guess what I'm saying is it is a huge benefit to do it before but don't do it just for the benefits if you are still kind of unsure.
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Permalink Reply by abuon18 on
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Has he already signed his enlistment paperwork? If he has not then go ahead and get married. It is definitely a good idea and you will have so many less headaches!
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Permalink Reply by ZeeKittiKat Ship2Div950 on
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Do it!! My husband and I went through the same thing. We were sure we wanted to get married but didnt know when we wanted to. After talking to our recruiter and before enlisting he said to go ahead. It makes things so much easier. We were iffy on rushing it but it was the best move!! good luck!! Message me if you have any questions or anything!!
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Permalink Reply by Chelle1991 on
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Thank you all! With your advice, my fiance are going to get married very, very soon! Thank you, thank you, thank you!
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FYI you can still have a "quick" wedding not in the courthouse... We're from Florida and I planned my wedding in under a month. We got married on the beach so our family could still be there! That was important to us!
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Permalink Reply by Ashley-PO2 Spouse on
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even if he has signed his enlistment papers you guys need to get married before he has his first set of permanant orders. Even if you just go to the courthouse and have a white wedding later. He can update his paperwork several times in the next couple months. If you don't it will make it hard for you when you do get married, not to mention the health benefits took forever to start. It took us a year to get them to fix our paperwork saying we were married.
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So all and all, just make sure to get married before he goes to boot camp, right? we arent too worried about family being there. just wanna do a small courthouse wedding for us and those most important.
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that would probably be best. I hate to rush you, but it makes life so much easier. i had to go in like six times and get my paperwork fixed.
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Permalink Reply by Jenn_NicksWifey on
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My husband's recruiter basically told us we had to. He said that everything is so much easier if you go in as married. Consider that once he finishes bootcamp, he has to get permission to get married and there's a bunch of paperwork. Also depending on how long his A School is, he may get orders before all the paperwork is done, so his orders will be as a bachelor. You'd have to pay to move you to the duty station and go through hoops to get housing figured out. BAH takes a few months to get started if you get married later, whereas we got ours immediately, with the first paycheck. We got married by a judge 9 weeks before he shipped out and I'm so glad we did. We might do a vows renewal ceremony to do the 'wedding' thing, but honestly we don't care that much about it.
One word of caution, and I don't know you, so please don't be offended. When he's away.... it sucks. It's hard. If you get married, make it forever. Be strong enough to stick it out.
Here is why I say this. My husband is currently in A School. He has been gone for 5 months. Out of all the guys he knows that are married, he's the only one not facing a divorce right now. I think it's so sad that these women leave their husbands while they are stuck away from home. The Sailors miss their spouses as much as the spouses miss their Sailors. I know my husband is way more affectionate and makes a real effort to show me he appreciates me when we do get to see each other.
Wish you the best!
Jenn. -
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Jenn,
Thank you so much for your words. Im not offended in any way. I know it wont be easy but I am more then willing to wait for him. He is my angel and I am prepared to stand by his side forever. Thank you so much.
Chelle
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I'm so glad that you have someone to feel that way about! Feel free to message me/add me if you want to chat or have questions about bootcamp and A School. My hubby finished bootcamp 7/20.
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Permalink Reply by tiffanyk2010 on
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YES!!! Get married BEFORE he goes to boot camp! It is so much better and easier. My husband has a couple buddies that were engaged when they all went through boot camp together. They were just kicking themselves for not getting married before hand. As long as you both are sure marriage is what you want and you are ready than it just makes the most sense. Good luck!
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