So new to this, so many questions and missing my love like crazy

[Jesse's Girl]

Jesse and I met almost a year ago at a Forensic Mental Health Facility located in a smallish town just north of Houston, Tx. He was an MHT (mental health technician- kinda like a CNA/nurses aide) and I was a newly graduated RN starting my first job at a very scary facility. We fell in love in late May and spent an amazing summer full of love and happiness together (sappy I know). In front of our family and friends, he proposed on a stage with a microphone under the blue moon during his Going Away Party on August 31st. September 4th I very tearfully dropped him off at MEPS and went home to my parents to cry for the next few days. He arrived in Great Lakes the night of the 5th which is when I received a very sad, very short 27 second phone call. "hey, I made it safe. I'm sending you my stuff in a box. The next time I can call you is in 3-4 weeks. I love you, bye." I received his box on the 11th containing his clothes and phone along with his admission packet (told me nothing about anything.) His rate is AV but he was also considering trying out for the seals or rescue diver when he got to BC. Does anybody know when I should (should being the key word) receive his grad packet/ form letter so I can start sending all the letters I have written so far? I feel like if I can get a letter from him I might be able to breathe again. This is the hardest thing I've ever done. I had no idea it would be this bad! I sleep in his clothes, i wear his watch everday, on my sad days i use his cologne... I feel ridiculous! My appetite is shot, I can't sleep like I used to and I burst into tears at random times throughout the day (my patients are always shocked when this happens if im in the middle of chatting with them). Will this get ANY easier?! I feel like I'm dying here!! I never expected to have anything to do with the military, much less end up a Navy Wife but I've never been prouder and I'd do anything for him, including let the Navy run my life for the next 4-8 years. Sigh...any advice? Words of encouragement? Sorry so tangential, just really confused and desperate!!!

[KC]

Well welcome...I am a "newbie" too and its insane...my baby is gone until Feb 2013 and he left in July...so its hard...I know nothing of how this all works and I am just getting the hang of care packages but I cant wait for his return...will it get any easier? I have my good days and my bad days...I get to chat with him pretty regular via email. Its like our life line but when he is unable, its hard...I have days where I miss him terribly but I try and keep busy...we are a bit older couple (about to be 40) so I have created a life for myself outside of him so that makes it a tad easier but...nonetheless it still hurts!

 

But with each day he is away, it will get a tiny bit easier. I promise...just try and keep busy. Mine has about 5 more years to go and this was GREAT practice for what to expect...but like I said...its rough. I never imagined it would be this bad either but..like i said, I have bad days and good days and I worry when i watch the news or see the weather or cant hear from him. When he has a bad day I wish I could be there to lay next to him and listen to him "vent"...but  again, I swear it will get a little easier...the hardest part for me though, is going out with friends and being the only one NOT coupled up...now THAT sucks! I recently went to dinner and the waitress even pointed out that I was ALONE...rude right? I think that was the first time I actually sat in my car and cried because I missed him soo much! But he is quite supportive and via email he comforted me as best he could and THOSE are the litte things that make all the difference!

 

So this group I am sure will offer some great support and if you ever want to chat...I am around...it will be alright!

 

K

 

 

 

[Jesse's Girl]

Is your husband in Aschool? If so where at? I can't wait to be able to communicate with him regularly again. Since May 18th we haven't spent a a single day apart so this is hell on me, not being able to at least talk to him. I'm sure it'll get better after I receive me first letter from him but waiting on that letter just might kill me! I know in reality it's not that bad but it FEELS really really really bad. I feel like a wimp.

[KC]

We arent married yet...but my baby is an officer on the USS Oscar Austin. just thinking about it makes me sad...and it really  isnt as bad...my best advice is to stay as busy as you can...it helps...I go to the gym, work, do obstacle courses, spend time with friends...it helps a great deal...I go to church...try and keep active and busy and the time will seemingly fly by!

[Jesse's Girl]

Did you go through boot camp with him? I stay pretty busy at work but on my days off...well there's room for improvement, let's just say that. I'm having a hard time getting motivated to get up and do anything =\ my friend is actually on her way over to go for a walk with me and help clean my house because I'm not necessarily functioning at my highest capacity.

[KC]

Nope...he has been in for almost over 20 years....so he is wrapping up about to retire...so I am coming into this at the tail end so to speak...but its still hard....soo I am new...but luckily for me there wont be too many more deployments...maybe one more short ones...i think i can deal with those...

[Jesse's Girl]

I wish I was at the end instead of the beginning. Although I'm glad I get to go through this with him. I can already tell its strengthening our relationship. I know you must be having a tough time too. I'll keep you in my prayers! Thanks for taking the time to welcome me; I hate being a newbie at anything.

[KC]

you will be just fine...the end is just as bad as the beginnning...TRUST me on that...as an officer he deals with all sorts of things that, being new, I can only listen and comfort...and thats hard too...VERY hard...so I have to be a support but you sometimes feel like YOU also need support but you want to keep a brave face and positive front for them because you know they are going through it and dont want to burden them with things at home...soo its equally as hard on both ends...at no time is it easy!!! EVER! unless they are home all the time...and that hardly ever happens....

[KC]

Thats my resolution as well. I stay super busy! I am busy with the gym, races, my friends, teaching and work...I love being but as I said earlier...we are a little bit of an older couple and we just got together...so I already had a life and circle of friends before and it has helped me a great deal...

 

sooo, be busy you will have good days and bad days...but it will all be fine!

 

I LOVE this forum!

 

Nice to meet you ladies!

[Jesse's Girl]

Oh believe me, it's not like I choose to randomly tear up. It just happens. I'm slowly pulling myself together, it's just taking a little time. Luckily I work with the best team I could have ever asked for; they are now family rather than coworkers and they are very understanding. I don't actually upset the patients, they just pat me on the back and make a joke to make me laugh. I got this, it's just hard. But I'm very glad to know it'll get easier after the first letter.

[KC]

I totally understand...i told ya I cried in my car the other night because of a stupid waitress...soo you're entitled to "feel"...its normal and you are only human...I will keep you in my prayers. :-)

[Jesse's Girl]

Thank you :) I love this forum too! So glad I found it and can't wait to meet people! Nice to meet you too!

[abuon18]

I know.... Being sad is not something you choose. But if you can be strong and make it through work without crying you will feel so much better because you'll know you CAN. It's easy to give in to the sadness so you just have to prove to yourself that you can get through a day without crying at work and once you know you can do it it will be easier. Make it a goal and reward yourself with something once you achieve it!