So new to this, so many questions and missing my love like crazy

[Jesse's Girl]

Jesse and I met almost a year ago at a Forensic Mental Health Facility located in a smallish town just north of Houston, Tx. He was an MHT (mental health technician- kinda like a CNA/nurses aide) and I was a newly graduated RN starting my first job at a very scary facility. We fell in love in late May and spent an amazing summer full of love and happiness together (sappy I know). In front of our family and friends, he proposed on a stage with a microphone under the blue moon during his Going Away Party on August 31st. September 4th I very tearfully dropped him off at MEPS and went home to my parents to cry for the next few days. He arrived in Great Lakes the night of the 5th which is when I received a very sad, very short 27 second phone call. "hey, I made it safe. I'm sending you my stuff in a box. The next time I can call you is in 3-4 weeks. I love you, bye." I received his box on the 11th containing his clothes and phone along with his admission packet (told me nothing about anything.) His rate is AV but he was also considering trying out for the seals or rescue diver when he got to BC. Does anybody know when I should (should being the key word) receive his grad packet/ form letter so I can start sending all the letters I have written so far? I feel like if I can get a letter from him I might be able to breathe again. This is the hardest thing I've ever done. I had no idea it would be this bad! I sleep in his clothes, i wear his watch everday, on my sad days i use his cologne... I feel ridiculous! My appetite is shot, I can't sleep like I used to and I burst into tears at random times throughout the day (my patients are always shocked when this happens if im in the middle of chatting with them). Will this get ANY easier?! I feel like I'm dying here!! I never expected to have anything to do with the military, much less end up a Navy Wife but I've never been prouder and I'd do anything for him, including let the Navy run my life for the next 4-8 years. Sigh...any advice? Words of encouragement? Sorry so tangential, just really confused and desperate!!!

[Joaeg]

I agree with you completely well said! Hang in there Jesse's Girl!!!

[KC]

I love it! This makes me feel better...awesome!

[Jesse's Girl]

This is great! I'm looking at it that way too. I already feel like we're stronger and I'm excited to start doing things again, like clean my house and start exercising again. That sounds sad I know. I'm crying less and less as the days I by and right now it's down to about once or twice per day, never lasting more than a few minutes. It happens mostly when I hear songs. GAH!!! I just can't wait to see him again!!!!

[Juliette]

I completely understand what you're going through! My fiance left me on Sept. 11th last week. I dropped him off at his recruiters, and then had to make the horrid trip into work, crying the whole way there. The first few days are the worst! I felt like I was in a dark, isolated hole. I was depressed and just didn't want to be around anyone. This is week one for me already and I'm feeling better. I do have my moments though. I don't really know if it ever really gets easier? You will always be missing him, but like everyone suggested - keep yourself busy! I plan on joining back up at the gym this week to keep myself motivated and get back into the things I enjoy doing while he's gone. Work alot! Hang out with your friends and be with your family as much as possible. Distraction is key. Also - write to him EVERY DAY! I've been doing that myself. I'm still waiting on my form letter as well. It seems to be taking an eternity to get here. If you ever need to talk message me! I'm dealing with the same stress and sadness as you are. I hope this makes you feel better! I've been with my fiance for 2 years....and we never spent time apart since day ONE...so I totally understand.

[CHN-B]

I understand what ur going through. I'm a newby at this as well & had to take a crash course to learn as much about it as I could. What we r going through is like a grieving process. To have someone we love so dearly just 'disappear' with no communication what so ever is very paInful. Even though we know where they r, our emotions still go through the stages of grief. It was a very painful period for me where I had no interest in doing anything or socializing w anyone. Could not eat or sleep. But it does get better.
Around 2-2.5weeks after he's left for boot camp, u should receive a form letter from him. In that is his mailing address & also info on his graduation. Start writing to him now if u haven't done so. Things get easier once ur able to communicate through letters. Sometime during the 3rd week u'll receive ur 1st letter frm him. They don't really get reg holiday routine until the 2nd Sunday to write letters home. The letter gets sent out on Monday & w snail mail, depending on how far from GL u live, it can take 3-5 days to get to u. I stalk the mailman ever day but more so towards the end of ea week for my baby's letters.
Also, after receiving info on his graduation date, it gives u something to plan for, to look forward to. So this will help u to start moving out of ur funk. Start looking at hotels, airplane tickets, car rental, places to eat etc. My Navy sisters & I talked about whether saying good-bye to our sailors will get easier & wondered if we'll ever learn to say good-bye. And we've concluded that good-byes will never get easier but because we love our sailors, we will learn to be strong. And we have each other's support. Hang in there. Things will get better & before u know it, u'll be flying out to his PIR.

[abuon18]

Did not mean to delete my earlier comment. I'm on my phone and I hit delete by accident! Anyway also what helps is making mini milestones. Like plan a weekend trip or something for the halfway mark. Or go to a concert... So you can count down to those too and by the time those little things you're excited about happen you're that much closer!

[Chrissy(Ship 03 Div 354)]

You'll get the form letter soon my boyfriend left the same day. We just got his form letter. He graduates nov 2!

[Jesse's Girl]

Where do you live in relation to GL? Glad you got your letter!!! I'm stalking the mailman waiting on mine.

[Jenn_NicksWifey]

Basically, sweetie, hang in there.  You'll start feeling normal again..  Know that he's doing something he will love, even though right now is tough.  Take comfort in it and try to keep busy.  Let yourself cry, it also helps.  I liked to cry in the shower because the kids couldn't hear me, lol.  My husband graduated bootcamp 7/20 and we'll soon be headed to San Diego from IL.  Next month, a whole other round of painful goodbyes to our families, so it doesn't really stop, you just handle it better. 

I don't think he can "try out" for SEALS in bootcamp.  All the special forces get put in their own division right away (the 800 division).  He would have had to qualify for it before leaving since they have different physical requirements.  Basically, whatever rate you picked before you left, you're stuck with for a while.  My husband thought about trying to switch and was told he had to wait 2 years. 

Message me if you want to talk or need to vent or have questions or whatever.  We're all in this together.

Jenn.

[Jesse's Girl]

Thanks for the words of encouragement! His recruiter told him he'd be able to get a 2nd chance at going into a challenge program if he chose to. Idk though, his recruiter coulda been wrong; I hear they have been known for that a time or two

[Anti M]

There is a teeny tiny slim chance... but no one should be holding their breath for it to happen.   It isn't a lie, but it isn't probable.  

[Jesse's Girl]

I'm glad I'm not the only one going through this, because it feels like i'm all alone. Thanks for everybody sharing their stories. I'm praying for you all and hope you get some news soon! Still waiting on my form letter -_- Poor mailman doesn't know what he's in for lol!!