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**UPDATE 4/26/2022** Effective with the May 6, 2022 PIR 4 guests will be allowed. Still must be fully vaccinated to attend.
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In light of observed changes and impact of the Coronavirus Delta Variant and out of an abundance of caution for our recruits, Sailors, staff, and guests, Recruit Training Command is restricting Pass-in-Review (recruit graduation) to ONLY fully immunized guests (14-days post final COVID vaccination dose).
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Sailor coming home.
Ok I need some input. Ok my boyfriend came home for the first time the beginning of this month and he may be coming home in 2 weeks. I understood the first time about him coming home and needing to spend time with everyone because he hadn't seen them since he left for bootcamp. But this time his mom is wanting alone time with him and isn't even wanting me to come to the airport to pick him up. His mom lives an hour away and he wont be home til Sat evening and then will have to leave early Mon morning. So that means he would really only have Sun to spend time with everyone else. I dont know what to do or how to be because I mean we have been together for 5 years and I want some alone time with him. But I don't want to be selfish or steal him away from any of his friends that don't talk to him every day and don't see him. But then I want to be selfish because we are in a relationship and we need that time with each other to keep our relationship going. Its just really hard because everyone is wanting their time with him but I start to feel like I'm getting pushed on the back burner when that happens.
I just need some outside thoughts on what to do about this. Because I dont want to be like this every time he comes home. Even though we have been together for so long I still sometimes feel like I'm the new girlfriend and I need to stay out of everyones way that has been there longer than me, and I dont know why I feel like that. I mean its been 5 years I should be over that already. But just being a girlfriend with her man in the Navy, I feel like I dont have any rights to anything. Like I dont matter as much until I'm his wife. Am I weird for feeling like this? Any thoughts would help.
Thanks
Views: 460
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by meagan5220 on
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like anchorsaway said you dont have to drag everything out on the table but I do suggest talking to him about what will happen when he comes to visit this time. I know it sucks to talk about important stuff over the phone, unfortunately with Navy life it has to happen that way a lot. Its always good practice to do it now while communication is better than try it the first time over deployment. Communication can be really annoying then and even harder as both ends are extremely stressed. But you can always leave other stuff for later. Neither party will be happy though if its not settled before he gets home since its such a short time.
I also agree it could all be hitting her at once. but I would def just talk to him about it when you can face to face. I know one wife that after 12 years of marriage is still battling her MIL. to the point that one deployment he came home and he stayed the first night in a hotel with his mom instead of home with his family. But its easier to talk about when its just starting out because you wont be as flustered about it. If you let it build then you could get overwhelmed and be really upset.
I definitely wasn't trying to imply that you werent committed. I mostly get tired of some navy gf's that try to say all navy wives treat them shitty. I treat everyone the same until I know what they are here for because to be honest even some of the wives I have met aren't in it for their sailor only the money (which I have yet to understand lol!!) but I think most of the nice Navy wives would agree Nafy gfs are just as important and deserve to be treated as such! Obviously,the Navy itself blocks some of that but otherwise we all just need to support each other. :)
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Permalink Reply by togetherandapart on
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Yea I agree with all that. I also want to see how the weekend goes because I have been getting a big feeling like something big is going to happen. Like he might propose to me when he comes home. But I dont want to get my hopes up.
The things that make me think are he hasn't come out and tell me I am coming home, but I am pretty sure he is. And he has just been kinda strange when we talk and not just telling me whats going on. Which is strange because he know how I am about him getting to come home. So a lot of things have been happening that make me think something big is going to happen this weekend.
But I really am grateful for all your words. But cross your fingers for me that he asks me cuz I will be the happiest girl ever!!
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fingers crossed!
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Permalink Reply by abuon18 on
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Well if he hasn't straight out told you he's coming home I definitely wouldn't push the issue of picking him up from the airport!
Lets just say he is proposing and his mom is in on the plan... Is that something you really want to ruin, by pressing picking him up from the airport? Since you don't "officially" know that he's coming home I would let him know IF he comes home you would like some alone time with him this time since you didn't get any last time and leave it at that.
Good luck & let is know if it happens! -
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I will let yall know. I'm excited and hope thats what happening. I feel like its time for us to move onto that step in our life. And I'm ready to live with him when he goes to prototype. So I cant wait for this weekend!!
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Well he isnt coming home this weekend. So everything I thought was wrong. :(
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Permalink Reply by sailorwifenmom on
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I'm sorry :-( Maybe he was, but something came up and he wasn't able to... I hope you get to see him soon!
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Well he said that his dad was working all weekend and he didnt get to spend anytime with him last time he came home and didnt want that to happen again. But he told me that he gets to come home the second weekend in November but I was planning on going to Austin to spend time with my friends for my birthday because my birthday is the day before Thanksgiving. So we decided that Im just going to go to Austin and let him have the whole weekend to spend with family and friends and anyone else. I just dont want to be sitting around all weekend upset wanting to hand out with him when I know he needs to spend time with family. So I told him that when he comes home for Christmas that we get 2 or 3 days to just us and no one else. And he told me that I am coming to his graduation at the end of November. So I will miss one of his home comings but see him at the end of November and then a couple weeks after that for Christmas.
So it sucks but I'm sure it will all work out in the end. Just still kinda disappointed about everything. Thanks for all of yalls help though. I talked to him about it a little last night and he told me that he understands everything Im feeling and thinking and that we will get time for us and that he does want that. So everything will work out. I think so. lol
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Permalink Reply by Anti M on
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Things may not be going as quick as you would like, but hey, you have a man who is concerned for his family as well as you. That has to show he's a good guy who is thinking about the feelings of others, and how to build family unity. Good qualities, yes?
A birthday in Austin sounds like a blast!
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Yea I'm excited. My really close girlfriends live in Austin and I'm going to spend time with them and go see one of my favorite bands. But you are right, he is really caring and puts his family first so I have no doubt in my mind he will be an amazing husband and even a better father. I know I have a good one and I trust him to make smart good decisions. But even with that said its still hard. Worse when he is so good and loving and caring. Its hard to be away and have to share but I dont like being selfish makes me feel guilty. lol
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Yea his parents are divorced and his mom lives an hour away from his dad. So it is hard trying to get to both of them and spend enough time with both of them in one weekend. It will be ok, he will come home and do what he wants and see who he wants without having to worry about trying to fit time for us in which I know that he wants that time. He is torn to do a lot of things and I understand that. So it will be good. He will get the time he needs to be with friends and family and I will get the time I need with my girlfriends. And then I will go with his family at the end of November to be there for his A school graduation and then a couple weeks after that he will be home for Christmas and he told me that we are going to get 2 or 3 days just for us and no one else. So we compromised and everything.
It sucks that I will miss him coming home but it will be ok. And your right maybe he will miss me more and want me there all the time the next time he comes home. lol
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