Relationship questions, lammeee

[Knittycat10]

So, I've been with my boyfriend for 3 and a half years, we've had a few apartments together, spent every day together, all that good stuff. I'm his first long term girlfriend, though hes had plenty in the past they were all short relationships, if anything. I now live with his mom while he's at boot camp. I'm basically a part of his family, we all get along and even used to hang out together before he left, just like we do now. We used to be inseparable, I can't remember a day we didn't spend together.

I'm worried, but I can't tell if its just because I'm over thinking stuff. When he left he was 100% dead set on staying together. He told me he wanted to get married some day in the future, all that mushy good stuff. Now I'm just so worried that since we've never been apart before he will lose interest in me and forget about me. Does this ever happen? He left for boot camp October 3rd. He joined the service to get his dolphins on a sub, and then he wanted to go into some type of spec war thing, but he didn't know what yet. From the beginning of him talking about the Navy he wanted to stay together through the whole thing, and I do too. I just feel so confused, I don't have his address yet, and he obviously hasn't had a chance to write me at all yet. On his 15 second phone call he told me he loved me, but I'm just so worried he'll lose interest because we haven't spoken. Any advice?

[Karinavmg]

You will trust me. I was going through the EXACT same thing. I was thinking, omg he's gonna get annoyed of having to write to me- and he's got other things to worry about and I'm not that important to him... Then, I got his letters on Saturday and I was completely surprised. He wrote me almost every day since he was gone- and hadn't changed one bit! I felt so silly for ever doubting how serious he was about us! It brought a few happy tears to my eyes :) It took 20 days to get my first batch of letters, so just be patient- and remember he DOES love you!!

[Knittycat10]

Thank you. I kind of feel bad. I write him a letter every day, double sided on one peice of notebook paper. I know he has no time, will he have time to read those or should I shorten them? Suprisingly I feel a little better today, I got his box with his clothes only and that alone made me feel better, I can't imagine how it will be to get a letter!

[Juliette]

Make the letters as long as you want! When I first started writing to my fiance, I thought the same thing - I wasn't sure if he'd have enough time to read, but trust me, your boyfriend will read everything. I've been writing to my fiance every day since he left for bootcamp (he's still there) - and when I received my first call from him, he said he had already finished what I've written to him and to keep sending more! And I wrote some LONG letters....So write plenty. They're isolated from everything, and it's all they live for while they're there. You should start getting his letters after the 3rd week he's been there - the 2nd phone call usually shows up in the 4th week. No promises though - and nothing is guaranteed, so remember that. Just write to him.....he'll surely need it.

[Knittycat10]

Awesome thanks! I'm noticing that the more I write the better I feel. I keep a notebook with me throughout the day, though I try to keep it on one notebook page, I write to him what I'm doing and thinking.

Your advice has all helped so much, thank you everyone!

[ProudLadyOfA1337Guy]

Agreed with these other fine ladies. I think you are just over thinking. I may have had a moment of that myself lol. We were together for almost 3 years (celebrated it during boot camp), together every day. We didn't talk about getting married really (though we are engaged now =D). But once we could talk through letters and especially at PIR and now after there has been no loss of interest, if anything it has made us that much stronger and even more in love (if that's possible lol). Stay strong and don't worry. And remember, he is probably missing you like crazy, feeling the same separation. Just remember to write as often as possible and keep up the support and love. Hope you're feeling better by now, so sorry this response was so late!

[Knittycat10]

ProudLady, looks like we have a lot in common, my boyfriend is going to be an LS on a sub, and will be going to Groton 6 weeks after hes done with BC. Has your fiance gone out on a sub yet? I agree, I do feel much better from the first day he left, but I have waves of emotions. First I'm excited for the future, then I just cry because I feel like he's going to just want to focus on the navy and not me, then I get happy again because I feel like he will miss me. Ugh! We should get special recognition for going through all this, lol.

[ProudLadyOfA1337Guy]

My fiance is in BESS right now (yay sub school lol) and has A school right after for ET-Nav. He's been on a sub, but not for actual duty or deployment yet. I am right there with you about the emotions, it's a roller coaster I swear. One of the best moments was getting his letters from basic, reassured me that it was ok to feel what I was feeling and that he just loved and missed the heck outta me lol. One of the things I remember is that through all of the struggles of basic and everything they go through he just kept worrying about me, which made me stronger for him, but it still was a funny thing between us that he was being torn down to the bones and built back up and he was more concerned about how I was dealing with it. He will absolutely miss you! I wondered the same things, and then I got his letters, and now I hear it from him every day. This wasn't a test of our relationship, but a tempering of our love. And I totally agree lol special recognition for all of us and all of you! Moms, wives, fiances, girlfriends, we are the silent ranks. We may not get recognition or a special medal, but to our Sailors we are so very important to them and boy do they show it when the time is right lol.

[KJ<3ProudNavyGf Ship-14 Div-026]

I read this and i felt like i wrote this myself, i'm in the same situation, my boyfriend left on Oct. 2 and he told me the same thing, that he wanted to get married and all that good stuff you mentioned, and although it has only been a week, i feel so apart and i know i won't be getting any letters any time soon, they say they normally take about 3 weeks, but at the same time i feel like them leaving will make them appreciate us even more, not only us but their family and friends, since they've been practically isolated for so long. What i'm hoping for is that our relationship will get even stronger than it is now and i'm sure this will be the same case for you, of course i have so many feelings and emotions going on like you because we've never been apart before, but i just have that hope that everything he says is true and that when we meet again he wont want to let go...lets be positive(:

[ProudLadyOfA1337Guy]

Positive is the key! And I can tell you now the first hug I got felt like a vice grip lol but I would sooner stop breathing from that than have all the air in the world but no him. I'm glad all of this post has helped you out too, that's what these groups are for, to bolster those of us at home supporting our loved ones. I would like to say the emotions go away completely, but I'm not far enough in to really know. However, I do know it get's a lot better, especially after basic when they have phones and computers and a lot more free time to communicate. Just keep strong and know that we are here to support you as others supported us through these moments. And also know that your sailor is probably thinking of you and missing you as much as you do him =). Like my mom tells me all the time, this too shall pass. What she didn't say is that that motto would get used a lot lol. Either way, I have found she is right. No matter how hard it gets, "this too shall pass" and we will move on to moments that just get better and better!

[mollybub]

I'm so glad you posted this, because reading all of the reassuring replies have helped me as well! My fiance left on the 26th of September, and I've had these random doubts come in to play, exactly like you mentioned - him losing interest, him not wanting to be with me anymore. I have to stop thinking like that! He was one hundred percent committed to us when he left, and as madly in love with me as I am with him. He wanted to set a date for the wedding before he left, and it comforted him when he did. I might have to keep reminding myself of that, and maybe you need to remind yourself of your own experiences with your recruit, because memories are powerful and pretty much what we have to cling to, in these weeks without communication.

[Knittycat10]

Aww, I'm sorry that you both feel this way too. I actually feel much better since I wrote posted the original post, but I am still missing him greatly, and I get worried in waves throughout the day. I'll wake up fine, but somewhere in the middle of the day I just think, what if he loves being there so much he doesn't want anything to do with me. You guys are right though, they are missing us, and even if they end up loving it there (my boyfriend was convinced boot camp would be heaven for him) they are still going to want an awesome lady like ourselves to call home to.