Need words of wisdom... or something

[Yvonne]

My son is leaving for boot camp in 30 days and then on to Nuke school.  I feel like I'm losing my mind and can hardly keep it together. I can't be the only one, right??  I definitely don't want to make leaving harder on him, you know? 

[Pat L. in IL]

Yvonne, You BOTH will be fine! Really! Basic is the hardest, so be sure to join his PIR group here on N4M's. There will be other moms in the same boat (pun intended!) Once he gets to Goose Creek you will be able to call and email him. Just don't forget that he will be VERY busy. The classes are very intense and lots of studying in the evenings in the classroom building.

Really, honey, you will be fine. Find a new hobby, connect with other military moms, write tons of letters.

All of us came through just fine and you will too!

[bclmomct]

No, you are not the only one.  I've been crying for the last three weeks.  My son leaves on the 24th.   And now everyone is getting touchy, even him.  He signed on Feb 1 for an October 24 date.  That's way too long to wait.  Hang in there.  We are down to 12 days.  I think once he's gone I'll be be

tter, but it sure is hard right now.   

[Pat L. in IL]

bclmomct and Yvonne, Don't be surprised (or take it personally) if your recruit gets moody, retreats, or even acts angry. This is all part of separating from family and everything familiar. When you start sending letters, ALWAYS, ALWAYS, ALWAYS be positive, encouraging, and let them know they can do it. This is especially important in Nuke school. If you get a letter where they are down or discouraged, remember that you are the ONLY safe place for them to vent. In spite of all the things they go through, the Navy truly wants them to succeed, too.

[bethr311]

Yvonne my heart goes out to you. Your son is going to want to spend time with his friends too. Try to share that as much as you can. Some moms have had going away parties, BBQs etc. Take lots of pics and movies! I cut back on some things my son's last month at home to make myself more available to him. Being a teen he loved staying up all night. One morning I was heading out for a 5k walk and said, Hey you want to go with me? He surprised us both and said yes! We had a wonderful time, we went for kayak and canoe rides afterward, I'll never forget it.

When it's time for him to go, just try as hard as you can to be brave for him. Cry your heart out once he can't see you. He'll be tested and so will you. Keep your phone with you day and night, you may get a three week call. We're here for you.

[ame]

  Yvonne - it gets easier - everyone is giving you great advice - I think the time until the go to boot camp is as stressful as waiting for the first call, the letters, etc.   Pat is right - once they get to Goose Creek it is almost like college life - they get "dorm" rooms,  want all their favorite appliances/gadgets - and can talk to you as their schedules allow.  They are under a lot of demands while there -  the three levels of Nuke School are all very different but when they have that little freedom, they visit the area sites, can go out etc.   For my son - that is when he truly blossomed as far as making decisions on his own, choices etc.   He has done so well - he now is in Goose Creek in his own townhome and working as one of the instructors in the Prototype section of Nuke School.  He has another year of teaching to go and then he is off to sea life.  

 

They want to know when they call you too that you are not moping or worrying about them - My son is always encouraging me to take a class on this, work on writing a book, go here, try this.  Its kind of fun to watch him worrying about me.

 

[bclmomct]

Pat -- the moodiness and anger is definitely going on right now.   It's seems kind of ironic that we tend to send our baby birds out in the world at the same time that we are getting moodiness and anger in our own livesl  With God we will get through this though.   So Pat L.  I have to ask are you from Belleville? 

[Pat L. in IL]

bclmomct, No, I live in Carol Stream, Illinois. Hoping you keep your chin up! Do you think you will be able to attend your recruits PIR (graduation)? If so, you have an AMAZING experience in store!

[bclmomct]

Absolutely.  We've been planning that since February when he signed up.  We'll be making our reservations as soon as we hear something.   My husband's family is from Belleville and some of them are coming up too.   We are from CT. 

We have a really good support system from our church, my Bible study group and our family, so I know I will be okay once he gets on the plane.   And we have a new granddaughter who will be a very good distraction. 

[Pat L. in IL]

My sailor has been in for 4 yrs. and is also a Nuke (EM). Keep me in mind when you have questions. As they say......Been there, done that!!

[frogkisses]

Be confident in knowing that you raise your son for just this moment in his life. He made a wonderful choice. It won't always be easy and you will be stressed. But he will be well taken care of in BC. Really he will be. It's the unknown that gets to us moms. My son is the first to leave the nest. This is an entirely new experience for me. But we made it through boot camp and now we are awaiting the start of classes in A school. Stay in contact with other navy moms. This will help a lot. Once you know your son's division try to find others in that same division. Join the PIR group as was mentioned by a PP. I wrote a letter just about every day. It was exhausting to do that but I was not gonna have my kid go without mail.

Hang in there.

Jen

[Mary(MMnukesmom)]

Keep busy   My son picked the Biggest Fight ever  in fact I think I would have drove his happy a$% up to Boot Camp with a note saying TAKE HIM CHANGE HIM DO NOT SEND BACK!  His first letter back was I'm sorry MOM   dang then I wanted to go kidnap him back  I wrote everyday and sent cards my husband wrote everyother he copied his show Top Shot summary and sent it to him also summaries of of alot of reality shows.  The only one we didnt was True Blood  because How do you do that..His brother and sister also wrote  We had a good time finding cards to send between  I also sent him mailing lables so he could just stick themon envelopes and he asked me to make them for other Sailors which I did.   also sent him addressed "HI" cards so he could scribble a note and mail that way he got more letters and they actually sent back self addressed envelopes.  Just rember it seems like a world away but when you make it through its worth it.. My son is now in ELT school he has Forbade his sister in Joining.. LOL  He was home on a 4 day (yep he is the kid he gets 4 days off he is on the first plane in fact he was like I have it in my budget)  and it helps to de stress  While he was talking with his HS friends and saw what they were doing  He was like Your right SIS go.. He is proud of her that she signed but he is going to her recruiter about her contract today I think Lord he thinks they all should get a bonus he doesnt realize she is lucky to get job she got since they are no longer filling it..     SO Good Luck and cherish Those LETTERS

[day]

My Nuke is my youngest, the last to leave the nest, and my only son - and my sidekick for everything from horror movies to road trips when he was growing up.  I was sobbing uncontrollably at random times for weeks, both before and after he left (which is really embarrassing in the middle of the mall).  Here's what I learned:

Don't be afraid to talk about it, and even ask for help if you need it.  I found out my boss was going through something similar, with her oldest going off to college for the first time, so she was very understanding when I got those mid-day calls from Boot that I just Could. Not. fail to pick up, and then had to go hide in my car or the ladies' room until I stopped crying.  I also found out I was no longer able to handle my lifelong depression, and got meds. :)

Go to MEPS with him for his induction if you can - watching him take his oath is tremendously moving,

Don't freak out if you don't get a letter every day - they haven't always got a lot of time to write, but keep writing them - they really appreciate it more than you think.  I was lucky enough to see video of my son at his first Mail Call while he was in Boot - next time I talked to him, I asked him about the video, and he said 'It's a good thing they cut away before you saw my reaction to hearing my name called to get my mail - I about busted out crying when they handed me the letter from you, and I was so totally not the only one near tears."  I got a total of six letters from my son while he was in Boot, and one was just the details on Grad.

I went to Michaels and got a pack of 20 blank notecards and envelopes for a couple bucks, and kept one with me, all stamped and addressed and ready to go, everywhere I went.  If I saw one of his friends, or saw something he'd like or be interested in, or thought of something that would make him laugh, a note could be in the mail within minutes, and much cheaper than Hallmark cards.

Stay active on Navy for Moms - knowing that it isn't just you going through this, and what to expect at each step, will help a lot.

Once he's through Boot, he will still be very much like the boy you sent off - but his back will be straighter, his head will be clearer, and you'll be more proud to be his mom than ever before.

While he's in Nuke training post-Boot, he will be super-busy - he won't be able to call often, but don't freak out.  Reach out as often as you can, keep the lines of communication open, he will get back to you when he can.  If he hasn't got a cell phone already, encourage him to get himself one after Boot.  Texts are awesome, cos he can answer them when he has a minute without making himself late for chow or cutting into his mandatory study time.  The hard part physically is over, but the pressure is high, so let him lead you when you do talk to him - he may need to vent about his grades, his instructors, his fellow learners, or he may want to think about something else entirely and want nothing but news from home.

Understand that the Navy is investing a lot in him, so they will do everything they can do to help him succeed.

Right now, eight weeks of Boot seems like forever - but when it's over, you'll be able to look back and realise all he's accomplished in those two months and be *amazed*. :)