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Boyfriend + Bootcamp = Braveness
So my boyfriend arrivied to Great Lakes last night. I told him to call his mom for his arrival phone call, because she didint make it to his swear in and I did. She called me and informed me that he had arrived safe, she said the call was very quick and to the point. Since he has been gone, of course I have shed a bucket of tears, but overall I think that I am humble and encouraged. My level of braveness has increased by 55% and is ascending. I have realized that he took this BRAVE step to support our family, but most importantly our country. What hurts me that most is that our son is confused as to why his dad is not here, but he is too young to understand. All I can do is assure him that dad will be back, but that's just not enough for a 3 year old. Its very emotional to hear him ask for daddy, but I have to be strong for all of us. I now realize how much I "really" love him and I know that he would be proud of how brave I am taking all of this!
Thanks for listening! We can get through this LADIES!!
Views: 356
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by bittersweet914 on
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Lol thank you! So what is your SR status?
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Permalink Reply by LittleMissRed on
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Just remember, send mail as often as you can! I send a letter out once a day if not more. Also number your letters so your SR knows how to read them. AND please make sure in every letter you tell him how good he's doing and how proud you are of him. My SR is in week 3 day 5 right now and is so depressed about being away. WE women need to be strong so our sailors can make it through. :) And trust me, time passes by quicker when you right letters :) I have sent my funny pictures off the internet, pictures of me, pictures of us. I sent him movie reviews from movies i went to go see with my friends. I've sent him the lyrics to a new song on the radio that i thought he would enjoy. Also when his letters come in dont be discouraged when he says (if he says) where are the letters? It takes awhile to come on. Mine has only gotten 2 of mine and I've sent letter 23 off yesterday. But no worries :) You are no alone just like your SR is not alone.
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It's so funny because I thought I was weird for labling the letters by days. I am up to Day 6 today with a total of 9 letters including a Halloween Card. His recurtier gave me his address this morning, but there is no Ship on it, just a Div is that correct? I have notice that writing is helping me cope with the timing of all this. 2 letters in a matter of 3 weeks, thats harsh!! Good luck with everthing and thank you for reading and commenting.
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Permalink Reply by Eryn on
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I can't completely relate but I have a little brother that is 5. I am in college and don't live with him anymore. He called me a few days ago to talk (he is pretty attached to me). He was wondering when I would come see him next. He also wanted to know if I could bring my boyfriend with me, "Jerrod used to come over and play with me and it was really fun. But he never comes over anymore now that you're not here". It was a about a month after I moved that Jerrod left for boot camp. I tried to explain that Jerrod is gone and he can't come play right now because he is doing an important job, but at 5 he can't really understand the military. He also said that it's sooooo not fair that Jerrod can't have his phone, I said I know I think it's soooo not fair too! ;) At 3 it will be hard because he can't understand everything, but hopefully the time will fly by for him!
Send as much mail as possible and if you do get any letters from him saying that he is depressed or wants to quit just remember to keep being brave and remind him to be brave too!!
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Yes it is very sad to hear I must admit, kids are so innocent. My oldest son is 5 (from a previous relationship) and he missis my boyfriend so much, but he understand the whole militarty concept to a certain level, so I explained to him that he is off being a soldier, fighting to protect our country while we slepp peacefully. Try it that wahy he may just understand. Thak you for the support and I wish you well with everything.
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Permalink Reply by Ashley3188 on
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My husband got to bootcamp on the 23rd and we have a 17 month old. I wish I could say I'm coping as well as you are. I am so proud of him!! But it's so hard with our son constantly looking for dada and not understanding why he's gone. I'm getting better day by day though!! Happy for your braveness, wish I could get there!!! We CAN do this!!
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YES! WE WILL DO THIS!! 17 months? I am praying for you! My boyfriend told to make sure I show my son his picture everyday because he was afraid he would forget him but I know that is not possible. It is very hard, but we have to be strong for our little ones because now that dada is not there we are in the spot light and kids may not understand but they know when things are not right even at your son age. Good Luck and please be brave. You can do it,You will do it! Minor seperation for a BIG outcome.
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My husband was afraid that our son would forget him too! Silly boys! Before he left we recorded a video on my iPhone of him telling Caleb good night. So every night when we get into the rocker I pull out my phone and Caleb gets a huge smile! We look at pictures and talk to daddy about our day and then we watch the good night video. He gets the biggest smile on his face and starts saying dada. He's really big on giving kisses so he gives kisses to daddy on my phone. :) Every day is getting easier! I haven't cried in 3 or 4 days now. I know this is what we wanted, something hubby has dreamed of forever. I think it's just the not knowing. And knowing that I can't talk to him. I write him a letter every night, and that is really helping me. PIR will be here before we know it! Just have to keep taking it day by day!!
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The video was a great ideal. We look through his pictures and he kisses them as. Sometimes they make him sad, but he enjoys it overall. It had been a few days since I cried until today. I had a missing him moment and couldnt control the tears. Yes it is hard, but in the end it will be worth it for all of us. Not knowing is a big issue and I see we you and I both realize that. Im sure it will get better once boot camp is over *fingers crossed*. This sites help to keep me uplifted.
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Permalink Reply by sailorwifenmom on
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My kids grew up with their Dad in the Navy, so I understand what you mean about your little one. A couple of things that might help your son -
Try to use the correct terms - Daddy is at boot camp. Daddy is at A school. Daddy is deployed. Daddy has duty. Try to NOT use phrases like "Daddy is at work". The reason for this is, eventually, he will be done with all his training and you'll be together again, and Daddy will be "going to work" - where he comes home at the end of the day - but your little one won't know if this "work" is see you in a few hours - or a few months... It can really contribute to separation issues.
Just keep reassuring him that even though Daddy had to ho away with his job, he loves him soooo much. If you think he will understand and not be scared, you can even add that "Daddy loves you so much that he went away to help catch bad guys so that you and all the little kids can be safe..." (that one really helped my kids).
Something else - once you are in DEERS and have your ID and stuff, you can contact Military One Source, and they can send you a FREE Dvd about Elmo and how his Daddy deployed (could work for bootcamp, too!).
We also had a "kiss jar" where they got one (hersheys) kiss a day "from daddy" while he was gone. -
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Wow! You had really great ideals. Very helpful!! I love the Daddy is fight the bad guys..... one. I have been scared to mention that daddy loves you line, because I dont know how he will react and I try to keep him busy and calm as I can. Daddy has been gone 1 week today and now hes slepping with me already and he has to hold my neck to fall asleep.
Elmo Daddy Deployment has to be so cute and Im looking forward to it.
Thank you for the important and useful information. Thank you, Thank you!
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These ideas are fantastic!!
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