What to do?

[cjegge2238]

Hey ladies! I have a question. So my boyfriend of two years has been in the Navy for a year now in the reserves as a Corpsman. He signed an 8 year contract and plans to go active in the next two years. He loves his job and plans to stay in the Navy for as long as he can. I am still in college and I am working my butt off for my degree! I want to be a pediatric physical therapist so that requires three more years of school after I get my undergrad degree. I am currently a junior so I have at least another year and a half before I can even consider grad school. My boyfriend and I have been discussing the future quite a bit and we plan on getting married at some point when the time is right. He wants me to be able to go with him wherever he gets stationed when he goes active. My question is, is it worth it to work my butt off for this degree when I'll end up traveling with him and not being able to really establish my career? I love him and I really do want to be with him, but I also have a dream of my own. Am I just being selfish? Sorry for the long post! I could just really use some advice! Thank you!!  

[C's girl]

You need to follow your dreams! Don't just follow his! You most likely will end up regretting it :-/

[Eryn]

I agree with you, but at the same time it could go the opposite way. She could end up with her dream job and realize that being with her boyfriend was more important than any job.

It just depends and you will really have to do some "soul searching" or whatever you want to call it and figure out what is most important to you. My advice would be to do some looking at other careers that at least most of your credits would transfer to that would be easier to move around. Not saying that's what you should do, but at least you would know your options. Also if you decided that being with your boyfriend is the most important you may want to see if there are any careers you could go into with a bachelor's degree that way once you would be moving around you would already be out of school. If you end up following your dream to be a pediatric physical therapist though, that is not being selfish at all in my opinion. He's following his dream of being in the Navy and you would be doing the same. It's just a matter of which dream do you want more and which one would you regret not having more, being with him or being a pediatric physical therapist. 

[Dina0106]

Now it isn't really about following your dreams because you can do that whether or not you choose to follow him all over. I had the same identity crisis with my fiance and my education as well, but I realized is my goals and my dreams don't have to ride back seat. I can still fully accomplish them and experience having a career whether or not the Navy has us moving, it might not be perfect. If you decide that you can not live without your significant and you just want to be as close to him as you can, because you do have to make that decision. Then the rest will follow, do what makes you happy. Whether if that is going to school where you want to be and doing what you want to do in a long distance relationship or deciding to get married and still going to school. I decided to go towards my love which is the man of my life and I know it's a decision I won't regret. I'm a LPN so moving to a new place will carry the fact that I would need new state licensing, and I am still a good semester away from my bachelor's as well. I would be going to graduate school in whatever state we get stationed and I'm perfectly fine with it, I don't feel like I'm losing my dream because he is a part of my dream. We dream of having a happy life together with a family, you can always have different dreams.

As I stated the most important thing for you to do is decide what will make you happy. You are not being selfish at all.

:) Sorry if it is a tad long, I just felt I could give more insight here lol

[Eryn]

I will have the same problem with having to get a new licence to practice in every state, and probably having to take the regional board more than once too. No fun. But it will be worth it. I'm not able to transfer schools until I am done with my program in a year and a half though, and I will say from personal experience I would definitely do whatever I had to to be able to follow my boyfriend sooner. But it's also important for me to have a stable career and in the end a year and a half stuck in Ohio will be for the best. 

[meagan5220]

I say dont give up your career goal!!! I heard a great man once say, If you have ever lost a dream you have lost a life. While you may not be able to establish your own practice you will certainly be able to find work pretty easily I would say. Typically you arent moving every year or every few months. So you can definitely get some experience and be able to use that where you move. Most bigger cities have children's hospitals and there is probably always places that need people doing that. I know its a great opportunity! My little sister was in an inpatient pt place for almost a month and I know its hard for them but definitely rewarding! I say go for it!! I know so many wives that have given up their dream career to follow their sailor and every single one I know personally regrets it and thinks about it a lot!! Also, you might even be able to get a job on base if you are in an area that is big enough :)

 

Its not being selfish. At all!! Its not like you are having to give up your sailor to follow your dream :)

[cjegge2238]

Whew! Okay I feel a tad bit better about everything after hearing some other opinions! I have been looking into things I could do on a military base as far as exercise testing or athletic training type things that I could do to avoid grad school for the time being. I guess I have been exploring other options, but nothing too far outside the basic scope of what I want to do. Does anyone know anything I could possibly do as a civilian on base? I really appreciate your responses ladies! I have been feeling a little lost lately and just knowing that there are others out there that have been in this situation means the world :)

[meagan5220]

look on USA jobs and see what jobs there are on bases. I have seen postings for medical stuff on base. So you might be able to do something in that area for like therapist assistant. Also, most bases have a gym and they have trainers, and all sorts of different things. I am job hunting where I just moved and I am seeing TONS of things for Physical therapist assistant. If your sailor can get orders to a bigger city I am sure there would be lots of positions like there are here. :)

[abuon18]

Don't give up your dreams. You have so many options even as a military spouse to finish school and find jobs. And you don't want to end up resenting him because you have up your dream for him and regretted it. Honestly anyone who tells you that you can't have your man and a career is full of BS. I am proof that's not true and there are tons of other ladies on this site. The easy way is to give up and follow him but that will leave you unhappy and unfulfilled. Don't cut yourself off from your options while you're still so young! Also, having your own career is a great way to stabilize yourself in a new city when you do have to transfer duty stations, it's a great way to make friends and meet people, and it's a great way to help keep yourself busy while he's deployed!