Hey ladies...my future sailor is leaving in 26 days and I can barely stand it!

[csan214]

My boyfrined leaves in 26 days and every time I even think about it I tear up. How do you guys cope wuth your loved one being gone? I just can't stand the fact that I won't be able to tell him good morning, or wish him good night, or be there for him when he needs someone to talk to. He's my best friend...will this feeling ever go away? It's already horrible and he hasn't even left yet. I want to make the most of our time left together but it's hard for me thinking "this might be the last time we do this" or "this might be the last time we do that." Thanks for listening to me whine. lol :)

[cjegge2238]

Hang in there! My boyfriend has gone through bootcamp and then corpsman a school so I have been exactly where you are and I know exactly how you are feeling. You dont want to be a downer with the time you have left, but it's so hard to keep from crying! Everyone says to make the most of the time you guys have left together, but that is so much easier said than done when all you want to do is curl up in a ball and cry your eyes out. Dont worry, thats normal, but tell your boyfriend how much you are going to miss him and try to keep the crying to a minimum for the time being. You have to try and be strong for him as well so keep that in mind. He will need you more than you realize right now! Seriously, you can even start writing him letters now just to get some of your feelings out about how much you're going to miss him and you can send them to him once you get his address. Yes, the being alone part sucks, but you always have us here to talk to :) so if you ever need to whine or vent, let me know!

[csan214]

EXACTLY. You know what I mean! haha. I try to make the best of it, but I'm always thinking, oh is this the last time we'll go to the movies together? or is this the last time we'll go shopping together? little stuff like that gets me.I think writing him letters now sounds like a great idea :) thank you for youru support!! ♥

[Dina0106]

I completely understand my fiance has been in my life since I was 9 years old, we were best friends from then till now. So far the biggest change was not only losing a significant other but also losing a best friend that I would talk to and share constant things with nonstop. I remember the first couple weeks before he left, I would just get so angry and be in complete tears one minute and okay the next. (lol maybe that was the pregnancy hormones that I was unaware of then) It was really hard on me  the first few days because it felt like I could not function without him. The days went on whether or not I wanted to participate in anything, so I began to keep myself busy. Certainly make the most of your time, the last week he was on gone we went on many dates and casually acted like we were meeting for the first time. It was crazy fun because we just talked so well, and even found out things we assumed we already told each other. My Fiance is still in BC and is graduating next Friday, I can't say it is easy but I heard School is easier with the communication. It can be a real pain to wait on letters once a week and twice if he's allowed to send mail out on a Wednesday or something.

Hang it there!

[csan214]

That's so sweet :) that is exactly how I feel. Like who am I going to call and talk to for hours about nothing?? I have friends, but it's just not the same. I'm dreading the week before :'( I feel like I'll be a wreck. But thank you for appreciated!! Good luck with your fiance! Hope graduation goes well :))

[Dina0106]

Thanks same to you:)

[MissG]

My fiance' is in basic training right now, and I miss him like crazy.  The thing that really helps me cope is the constant reminder that he is doing this for us.  I also stay busy.  You mentioned that you are only 16, so I would definitely encourage you to stay busy and focus on ways help with your personal development because he is going to go through an experience that will change him for the better.

 

I wrote out goals of things that I wanted to accomplish while he was away that I may have neglected while he was here.  I focused on studying and preparing for the next level of my education.  I am focusing on my physical health and my fitness goals (even though my SR told me not to try to lose weight).  I also got more involved in my community.  One way to take your mind off of your own sadness is to spread a little happiness to someone else.  That's one of the most important lessons I've learned.

[csan214]

I bet! I'm planning on keeping myself as entertained as possible with friends, school, a job maybe. The list is a really good idea, I'll have to think about that :) Thanks so much for your advice! Good luck with your fiance ♥

[meagan5220]

Stay busy. Beyond busy. and not just mindlessly busy. But actually busy. Something that you enjoy and keeps your mind active. Set goals, start doing research for the future. and my biggest piece of advice (and dont take this the wrong way please!) But get off here and go spend quality time with him!!! Stop dwelling on negative aspects of the the future or you will end up tainting the last few memories before bootcamp. Enjoy the time, focus on the present. You  cant constantly think about the next seperation or deployment, or whatever it may be but you will always be upset if you do that, not only during the time itself but also during the time you have with him. Bc you are losing precious time. You dont want to regret the moments you could have had. When he ships off then delve into researching and reaching your goals.

[csan214]

I'm definitely going to try to stay as busy as possible. I know I need to spend time with him, but I start thinking maybe I should like train myself to be away from him. Because I have to get used to it sooner or later. but then I just can't stay away from him. It's a hard thing to balance.

[meagan5220]

Dont worry about trying to train yourself hun that is what bootcamp does by itself. :) Its like training for a deployment. There is no real way to train yourself for it but to actually experience. Just squeeze every last minute out of him you can :)  

[csan214]

I'll defnitly try! I'm just scared I guess. But I'm praying about it and just hoping :)

[meagan5220]

I completely understand being scared. Its scary. but honestly a lot of life is. Dont worry there is a ton of support here when he does leave and so many people with so many experience. When he leaves start going through discussions and reading them and ask questions as you need to. :) So many on this site are willing to share their experience!