Getting married over Xmas leave

[heathee12]

hi ladies! my bf and I are planning on getting engaged and married over the his holiday leave. we have already been apart for almost 10 mths and are both really excited to begin another chapter together.

He will be home on leave for 10 days at the end of the month and we thought that would be a good time to get married. he is putting in his marriage chit this upcoming week and has made his superiors aware. we are both NY residents so we want to marry here. I know that there is a 24 hr waiting period but am worried that they may be a wait for a court officiant. does anyone have any advice? we are waiting to tell our families until we are engaged and want to keep it small. if for some reason we can't get married in a court what are some other inexpensive options? It will be cold out here so I am not sure about anything outside now.

I don't like planning and we need to save for my move and we are ready to start the new year together. I am soooo excited! hopefully I will be able to move to him in April.

ps I am over sleeping next to a laptop!

[abuon18]

It's not letting me reply down below... So.... You still have to pay for the courthouse to officiate your marriage, that's not free either. And you can easily find a free location. You could use either of your homes, or if you find an officiant as them about free locations (trust me, they'll know!). There is going to be some cost involved.

[heathee12]

here's my super exciting update! My dress is on it's way - went for a shorter ivory/peach lace dress with 3/4 length sleeves. I hope it looks amazing on and if not then I still have time.

Thanks for all your advice and insight. I went to the city clerk today and she gave me the list of local officiants. I talked to the clerk about getting our license and made an appointment with our Mayor to do the ceremony on 12/28. I can look around and see if I like any of the other local buildings and officiants any better but we have a PLAN! I ordered netting and am going to make a veil and a friend is going to make my bouquet - so happy and excited. I wish my bf was here for this, but at least I can send him photos of the location. It looks like we will get married in a historic building after all:)!!

[Karinavmg]

Yay congrats to you!! I am also getting married Friday the 28th!! :) I wanted to keep it very very simple and small because I'm planning to have a real wedding with friends and family a year or so from now, so I decided on the courthouse (in San Diego) for $158. And I agree, it feels weird planning a wedding without your bf there! I'm going through the same thing!

Will you be planning another wedding with all your friends and family later on or is this the only wedding you're planning on having??

[heathee12]

Congrats!!! Yay! that is so exciting for you:) We will have the same anniversary:) I went to check out our courthouse today and I had to go through a police screening and a metal detector so I am going to opt for City Hall instead - I got a much better vibe and it's free. We actually told our families yesterday so immediate family will be there and then we are going for Mexican after. I am really glad I told my mom - she was very supportive and she offered to pay for us to go away for the weekend, which will be nice because by the time we get to the 23rd when he comes home we won't have seen each other for 2 months so this is really going to be the best holiday EVER! We would like to have a party in the spring. 

Is anyone going for you both? Any plans for after (dinner or anything)? DId you get a dress yet? So happy for you. Do you feel like you are just smiling all the time? Kind of makes all the missing him, flying across the country, txt msgs, etc ALL worth it (and we are doing it our way).

[Karinavmg]

It's a little stressful for us because my boyfriend's family will not be able to make it because they are in Japan. He's been pretty upset about that, so it's been hard to plan out what we're doing after the ceremony because he feels like he's leaving his family out of the celebration. We actually had a difficult decision on who to tell, and how to bring it up to other family and friends because we didn't want them feeling left out. We want to do a larger ceremony later with everyone, so we thought about presenting ourselves as "engaged" publicly. My parents and his parents know, my sister, and 2 of our close friends know but that's it. It's just hard because we want to start receiving BAH asap so we can save for a place to live together as well as the wedding we want to have later on. That's the main reason why we're getting married so soon. How did you decide on getting married so soon? As for the dress, I'm still looking! I'm short and petite so I have to go to the stores to try stuff on because things don't always fit me right! Haha... 

After his leave gets approved I'm gonna buy us a weekend getaway too! From the 29th to the 1st :) Even with all the stress going on, I'm really excited to take this next step! I just wish we could have done it the way I always planned with the traditional proposal and big wedding... but that's the military life!

[heathee12]

Awhh that stinks! Anyway you can have someone with a smartphone facetime or skype your bf's family during your ceremony? Not totally ideal but at least they will get to hear and see you both:)

We decided to do it over his holiday leave because we have been talking about it for awhile (since before he went to bootcamp last February)- we have managed to continue to thrive in our relationship not seeing each other - so we are ready to make this commitment to each other and be back together on a more permanent basis. He is in WA and I am NY and I work in the arts so while we are saving (I took in a roommate to help with rent) in order for me to make the move it also just makes more sense for us to be married (which sounds like a similar situation for you to). we have been together for a yr and a half but have know each other since we were 15 and we are 34 - he is my person:) If we wait longer we are doing just that...waiting. This way our family gets to see us get married, we get to marry in our home area and I will be able to move in 3-4 months.

What are you thinking about doing for your getaway? Stay positive it will all work out:)!!! You are getting married!