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Does it ever get easier?
So my boyfriend (hopefully fiancé soon) is at basic right now and in January I'm flying out to see him graduate, but while he's been gone I just feel so useless and like I have no one to hangout with because I hung out with him so much. Also when I wake up at night from a nightmare I get sad because he isn't right beside me to hold me. So does it ever get easier with him being away or no?
Views: 436
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Wynona on
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I think it gets easier when you just write him. And find something to do. I enjoy writing him a lot.
Well, my husband has been gone for only one day in Boot Camp. But since we moved a month before. He needs to fly back to that state to report to the Navy office from there. So we've been apart for about a week now. And of course, beside graduation or I go visit him. It's gonna be another about 5 to 6 months. Or even more.
And we experienced a lot of separation before we even got married. I know probably not as much as people here experiencing deployment and stuff. But we were apart for 2 and a half years before we finally see each other again. And after we got engaged, we have the whole long distance engagement also. I just enjoy writing him. And just to accept he's doing something important in his life. And you will feel excited and happy for him. Of course, I am excited to see him again and kiss him a big hug and kisses.
So hang in there. You will know being married is even more kinda awkward and hard too because I am not gonna hang out with other guys, and not even single female friends, or married friends because single people have their own life to get their guys, and married people hang out with their spouses.Just always do something good. Keep yourself busy in a good way.
I know it's kinda long. But hope it helps. :)
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Permalink Reply by MRobinson910 on
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I agree with Wynonna , she says it very well. But another thing is that he will tell you when you're being helpful , and that will help you feel better about yourself ! Trust me , gets better. Maybe not better ... but easier at least (:
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Permalink Reply by Veronica (Ship14 DIV046) on
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Hello Stephanie! I know exactly what you mean! Same with my boyfriend, I was always with him and now that I finished finals I plan to hit the gym and continue to spend time with his family, since I have a close relationship, I see his parents and sister about 4 times out of the week :-) they keep me strong but at night and in the mornings are so hard for me. When I break down, I really break down. But that's why we are here for each other :-) take up a hobby, plan to see his family or pick up hours from work if u have a job. When does he graduate?
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Permalink Reply by Stephanie on
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He graduates January 11th. Yes I know what you mean he always told me before he left that he wanted to marry me and he wanted me to have his kids already, and apparently he was talking about it to a bunch of people but he just didnt have the chance I guess.
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I also want him to be my fiancé too lol. When he called me last Friday he said he just wanted to marry me. Your boyfriend misses you and you just need to be strong for him, because its harder for them.
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Permalink Reply by sailorwifenmom on
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It does get easier. It won't ever be easy, but it will be easier. One thing that I've learner over the years that really, in my opinion, is crucial to surviving this life, is to make sure you have outside interests, friends, etc that is separate from your Sailor. I'm not saying he can't be involved in those things, or that he shouldn't be your world or anything like that. Just that he can't be the only thing in your world. Whether you're a girlfriend, fiancee, or spouse, in the Navy world, you're going to have a good amount of time apart.
You can still have a wonderful, loving, strong relationship, just not one where you are dependent on each other for all of your emotional needs, kwim?
Something else that helps is getting to know other people involved with military. They tend to understand more than civilian couples what you're going through, and that helps, too! -
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Permalink Reply by aimee on
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I just got back from my boyfriend's PIR which made the tough two months feel completely worth it. He is my best friend, so I understand what you mean about no one to hang out with. But if you reach out to friends and family, I am sure you will have a response. After the two months, you will have a lot more communication which makes it easier. You will make it through!
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Permalink Reply by beewoman on
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My fiance is in basic as well and will graduate on January 18th too. It is hard, but I lean on God and the strength He provides is amazing. I know that this is just a short chapter of our book. God will help us through a of our trials if we just trust He knows what is going on with us! I write everyday. It helps. We too are beat friends, soul mates and better halves. We make each other complete but I agree taking up a hobby gives you something to focus on. I exercise a lot because I want to look good for him come January. Be positive and the time will fly by :))
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