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Marriage tips?
So I recently got engaged to my boyfriend and we are trying to decide which is better, getting married before or after he goes to boot camp? He hasn't gotten his official leave date for boot camp yet. We will most likely be going to the local courthouse and having a big "wedding" later on when we have the means. I just wanted to get some advice on what you ladies think is best. Thanks in advance ladies, I look forward to hearing from you!
Views: 320
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Erica on
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You guys have right idea. Definitely get married before he leaves, and yes wait for the big wedding. I planned our big wedding in 3 months and it was the most stressful time of my life!! Hope this helps!!
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Permalink Reply by Anti M on
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LOL, my answer is also before before before. His recruiter won't like it, but if you have no children yet, then marry and make him do the paperwork. In A school, it is a pain in the ass. After A school, you won't be on the orders... and if he gets overseas orders, you'll be apart for at least two years.
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Just a detail, BAS is not for dependents, it is for the sailors who are housed differently than the single sailors and eat other places than the chow hall or their ship. Married sailors just have wives who notice it on the pay statement, LOL.
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Permalink Reply by meagan5220 on
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as long as he has access to the galley or chow hall the BAS will be taken back out. If you look on deductions it will say something like Food something or other. My husband recently stopped having it taken back out because they took away their galley for an overhaul but up until they took it out the allowance is deducted back out.
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ok I just checked and it says Meal Deduction thats where the BAS goes too.
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Permalink Reply by Saipan on
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hflannery is correct. Based on the situation and command they do not have to have their BAS taken out it would just mean they pay for their meals at the galley. Hubby is on shore duty and does not have his BAS taken out so when he eats at the galley he pays for it. Of course, every situation is different and you can't expect what happens for one Sailor to be the rule for yours. :)
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I have heard for shore duty it is different. My husband was just told anyone on a ship with access to a galley whether they live on base or off, if they arent getting BAS taken back out needs to tell someone asap or it will all get taken back out when they realize what happened.
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Permalink Reply by abuon18 on
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Before. The recruiter will tell you to wait but it's just because they don't want to do additional paperwork. It will make your lives so much easier to get married before! After, he needs to fill out paperwork requesting permission to get married, possibly attend classes, get approved time off from his classes/work if he is not requesting leave time (or work around his schedule if he does not get his superiors to let him out early) to go to the courthouse before they close, you will have to travel to where ever he is. It obviously works out for many people, but avoid the headaches if you can! Like the other ladies have said, you'll get BAH right away (or if not you'll get back BAH for the entire time he was in boot camp), separation pay once he's been gone 30 days at boot camp, plus the medical benefits. And you'll be on his orders for where ever e ets stationed after A school.
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Permalink Reply by Jenn_NicksWifey on
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if you are planning on getting married anyway, do it before. read back through this page a ways and see the headaches some other ladies have gone through to get married after their fiance joined. it will save you a lot of stress and frustration.
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Permalink Reply by TifW on
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Thank you ladies! The answer looks unanimous haha!! I'll talk to my future sailor about this!
Do you suggest just him talking to his recruiter or should we both? I've met his recruiter before and he seems like he wouldn't give him a hard time but maybe he'll take this "proposal" a little more seriously if I'm there...? What do you ladies think? -
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Permalink Reply by Angie on
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If he doesn't have a ship date yet, he isn't even in DEP...he and you can do what ever you want and just back fill the recruiter latter.
IF he had a ship date already it would be a little different.
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I agree with before :) Saves lotssss of headaches and can save some money while he is in BC and A school. I wish we had, but his recruiter like many others told us he could not get married before leaving. then they pushed his ship date up by a lot so it was a hot mess lol.
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