Son sent to Ship 5 and is coming home

[texasmom]

My son was sent to Ship 5 a few weeks back.  At first they sent him to medical for knee tendonitis and began physical therapy but he remained with his division, where he was immediately an outcast and hassled repeatedly.  At some point he was given the physic eval bubble test where they deemed him depressed and with anxiety then decided to send him to Ship 5 to come home.  He expressed that he wanted to stay, that going home was not what he wanted but that didn't happen.  Now he truely is depressed as he sees his hard work and dream shot right out the window.  I think what upsets me is how can a bubble test and 15 minutes with a physiologist determine anything?  He has gone through legal already, discharge code RE-3 and will be home Thursday.  He plans to go back to school, try to get his job back and hopes someday to reinlist.  This mental discharge seems to be very common and more of an excuse to thin the herd. 

[Daphne]

You are absolutely right when you say this is to thin the herd. My daughter was discharged because of a "high heart rate" and a possible "endocrine disorder". She was told that they called for her civilian records and her heart rate had always been high. Funny thing is, her dr back home never told us that and once she came back home there was absolutely nothing wrong with her. By chance was your son in aviation? I've met another mother who's son was sent home for exactly the same thing and he and my daughter were aviation...just wondering. God bless you and your family. My daughter has been home for three moths now and I think the first month was the hardest.

[texasmom]

No, he wasn't aviation.  I'm sorry to hear about your daughter's discharge.  It's really hard to watch your child work so hard for something only to have it taken away in the blink of an eye with the possiblity of never being able to go back.  Then they get to sit in Ship 5 for weeks stressing about some disorder they have been "diagnosed" with. My son wants to try some counseling when he gets home, because now he is depressed.  He feels he has let his family, friends and Country down.  A mother can only reassure their child so much, so maybe hearing "it's okay" from someone else will help him heal the wounds. Well, I think God has bigger and better plans for our kids.  God bless you and your family.  Your daughter will find her path and be successful. 

[donnad]

Dear Texasmom - You are so right - my son was separated and arrived home about 2.5 weeks ago after spending 2.5 weeks in Navy hell (otherwise known as Separation).  As you are finding out, this is absolutely devastating to the entire family, considering these young men/women have given up months of their life in DEP and BC, not to mention giving up jobs, insurances, etc., believing they would be spending years living their dream, as a proud member of the US Navy. 

My son went through the same thing yours did - initial problem was his knee.  He was considered to be an outcast and was also treated badly.  He was sent to Ship 5 where he became extremely depressed.  His calls home were excruciating for me, as I'd never heard him so low.  I ended up calling US Navy, Legal Affairs and go him home pretty quickly because I was afraid of what staying more than 2.5 weeks would do to his mental state. 

My son/s discharge code is also RE-3, and he was thinking about re-enlisting.  However, over time he hasrealized that enrolling in college is a better option (note - less than 1% who re-enlist are actually accepted).  He has gotten his job back and is trying to move forward. 

I must say that I am astounded and appalled by the numbers of young people being (what I consider in MANY instances) FORCED into separation. 

Please know that my thoughts and prayers are with you and know that when your son comes home, he will be SO HAPPY to be there, although the memory of Navy separation will linger. Time will heal; God has other plans for our brave, courageous, remarkable children!

[texasmom]

Thank you so much Donna.  You have no idea how helpful this forum has been for me, to help me understand the whys.  My son got home last night, and as much as he says he's happy to be out of there, I see it's hurting him so very much.  He said he made some great friends while in SEPS and wants to keep in touch with them.  I've been listening to his stories and all I can say is the Navy is losing a valuable asset regardless of what their stamps and lables say.  He really misses it, he didn't want to come home.  I believe in my heart, had he been with a different division he would still be there.  But as we all say, God has other plans for them.  He is looking to get his job back, getting back into school to finish his degree and move on.  And thank God for my wonderful family and friends, they are SO supportive because they know what an AWESOME kid he is.  God bless you and your family, and yes, time will heal.

[texasmom]

Oh yes, the infamous bubble test that will haunt them for the rest of their lives.  They answer the questions honestly, like do you miss your family and you say yes....you're going home.  You suffer from anxiety and depression or PSTD.  Such BS.  Sorry if my son loves his family and enjoys our company.  And it's a natural feeling to miss loved ones.  It doesn't mean you're depressed!  I know how hard it is not being able to talk to them, just to let them know you have their back.  She will be able to call soon.  Once she gets to SEPS she will be able to call twice a week and for about a half hour.  Just be positive, let her know she has done something that many other people her age (and older) are to afraid to do and she is not a failure.  If anything, the Navy failed her.  It's frustrating and hard to hear the saddness in their voices. Continue to send letters and cards, encourage family members and friends to do the same.  And for yourself, continue with this forum for Ship 5, it has been a BIG help for me, emotionally and informationally, even if you just come here to read other stories.  Remember, you are  not alone~  God bless

[Vickie]

Hi ... my son is also rightnow in this ehll of separation.  The desperation in his voice, is horrible. This is the worst thing I've ever lived through. They are saying it could take 3-4 weeks to get him home.  How do I contact Legal Affairs?

[donnad]

New FB group for those of us who are enduring or have endured separation process. 

https://www.facebook.com/groups/535221726514465/

[manda1978]

Thank you for this information!  I joined Navy Moms, but now it is almost more hurtful to read about other peoples children's success when my son didn't make it.  They are a wonderful group of ladies, don't get me wrong!!  They helped me feel better when I found out about my son's separation, but I think this group might be where I belong now.

[Lauren - Ship 11 Div 317]

We just got our phone call today, I am still in shock, if they ask everyone there today at BC if they miss home, what do you think they would say???  I look forward to learning from this group.

[AZNavymom]

((HUGS)) to you, akmomma, I know it's hard!

[manda1978]

My son is waiting on Ship 5 also.  He didn't respond to a question because he was over tired, and they slapped him with depression and a medical discharge.  I'm finding it hard not to have a sour taste in my mouth for the Navy.  I wish I didn't feel this way, but from what he told me, it sounds like he got a raw deal.  He doesn't want to leave, but he doesn't want to be stuck on the ship for 6 months waiting for the appeal to go through.  I spoke with him today, and he sounds in good spirits, much better than last week.  School may be in his future! 

[Sandra Washington]

The same thing happened to my daughter. she joined perfectly healthy, Boy, was she just what the Navy needed!

Then I get a call she is being dicharged cause she missed her Mom, then they slapped all these diagnoses of some kinda disorder mentally. Really? Now just how long do they take to send her home? If she is considered unfit/dangerous to the Navy?