Letters in boot camp

[TiffanyL1023]

My boyfriend arrived for boot on the 4th of this month. I was wondering if they read your mail? I'm not ashamed of anything, i just dont want somethings being said to him or something. Also can you send pictures? I heard someone said you can, but i just want to make sure.

[UrabissWife]

every base is different honestly. so its hard for me to say. my husband went to A school in Pensacola. They had a cell phone kiosk in the NEX there so sailors were able to get cell phones set up right there on base.( but i mailed him his phone the day he got there) .....If your BFs base doesn't have that option , he will have to wait until he has liberty to leave the base. Most A schools wont let them leave when they first get there. they are really busy with quals and cleaning :P . My husbands base went through phases and he wasn't allowed to leave the base until he was phase two (about a week after he got there). but like I said all A schools are different. even the barracks has different rules at the base he stayed at. my husband wasn't off on the weekends until he hit phase 3 (about three weeks in) then he didn't have to report for muster on the weekends unless he had watch. Before they class up, after they get their quals, they are on watch sooo much.  I rarely talked to my husband the first week he was there because he was so busy with getting quals . once they class up they get more on a routine.....

I hope this helped. let me know if its confusing :P  let me know if you have any more questions. id be gad to help :) 

[lynn]

Oh, yes! This is very helpful! What's NEX and quals mean? Maybe I should mail him a phone? I am a bit sad because I think I assumed after boot camp, there was tons of communication, like back to cell phones and lap tops, as normal. I suppose I will have to be a lot, a lot, more patient...if they don't have liberty until perhaps 3 weeks in, so maybe 2 more weeks, does that mean they cannot use the phone until then? ....oh.And routine... That is something to certainly look forward to! :)

Thanks for your help!

[lynn]

Oh, and furthermore, to be honest I am beyond sad and frustrated....I am currently with my family for the summer ---I go to college in the Midwest and I just want to lay around and wait for the phone call that just never seems to come. I feel like I am losing hope and I just want things to be better already....

[UrabissWife]

NEX is navy exchange... its just a store that is on base. they have everything....well depending on the base. in Pensacola it was like a tiny mall ... here in Washington it is huge . quals are qualifications. in A school the qualifications are for watches and colors (which is the raising of the flag in the morning ) when they get to their first command they will have a lot more quals to get. my husband has to get a qualification just to get tool and use it lol . i was expecting to talk to my husband so much after basic but they are so use to not being able to talk, communication sucks at first. even when i did call my husband he would just sit there. It took him a while to shake out of it :)  i mailed my husband his lap top when he got there so we would Skype usually at night but his roommate was super loud . mmm they should have liberty about 2 weeks in ,just not be able to stay out on the weekends. they have a lot more freedom at A school. they live in their own rooms and everything. so odds are, he just doesn't have the necessities to contact you and is really busy getting his quals. using the internet costs money in the barracks. it was $50 for my husband. so that really sucked.

oh yes routine was amazing.... Though  it was still iffy when it came to liberty. my husband would go to school in the morning then be done around 2 liberty would be called at 4 .... there was more that once that i waited for 2+hours for them to call liberty.. sooo frustrating especially in 100+ degree florida weather :P

the hardest thing for me was actually drilling it in my head that the government controlled him. that the navy comes before me now. which still is annoying, but its how it is. :/ you just get use to it after a while.  so many times i wish he could call in sick to work lol , not that easy anymore :P

[UrabissWife]

oh and about mailing him a phone... if he already has one set up i can't see why not, just make sure it is activated :)

[lynn]

Okay, for sure...his parents know a lot more about his status than I do, so I will have to find out through them about the phone situation. I definitely feel like I do not have a place---as his parents are his direct contact and I get little contact....and so I certainly understand the concept that the Navy comes first and the Navy is his life thing. I totally respect the military---that was one of the things he and I clicked on--but I dont think I knew how much comes with it---it is certainly a lot! Do you always feel like you are counting down to the next thing? Like the next phone call or the next change? I always feel as though I subconsciously am putting my heart and life on hold--living for the next phone call and I do not know how not to do that.....

All of that information was super helpful! You are brilliant! Thank you. 

[UrabissWife]

Yeah I don't think anyone can prepare for what the military holds for relationships. I thought I was prepared, but when the time came I felt like I was blind sighted. while he was on basic I did. I was always on the edge waiting for the letter and/or phone call. when I went to be with him at A school it got a lot better. im sure it will go back to being that way when he goes on DETS and deployments. I know the countdown to the deployment is really something I wish wasn't there. its really hard at first , this whole navy thing, but you kind of get into a rhythm of not knowing anything . My husbands DETS have been changed so many times I've lost count and his deployment has changed 2 times. so its really hard to prepare for things. you think you are all ready and BAM its changed. its definitely hard, but you stick through it for them . I always tell everyone God chooses the strongest women to be with the navy men :)

I can't be honestly truthful when I tell you the first whole year of the navy seems like a big confusing mess, its a huge life changing event. my husband just passed his 1 yr mark in the navy and I feel like it is starting to settle down a bit and I honestly cant remember what normal life was like :P

[UrabissWife]

the things we do for love :P

[lynn]

Okay. I will just keep praying on it and everything. I am not needy...I am trying to be a strong woman..I just didn't realize how much my daily life is affected by his absence. All the things I was used to and did not realize I was used to. I feel heartbroken even.

Oh! And addresses! I got phone calls in boot camp but never letters...I figure he was too busy? Or its just one of those things that depends on the various petty officers. But we can mail to A school, yes?

[UrabissWife]

I felt like my husband had died when he went to basic b/c there was so communication ! I promise it does get better once he gets in the jist of things. it is crazy how much we miss them, even when they drive us bonkers! lol . a lot of people are too busy. those who do write usually don't sleep just to write. I wish I could post pictures of my husbands letters... there would be a line across the paper where he fell asleep lol . they are not suppose to write unless its on sunday so those who do are actually breaking the rules. and writing and getting mail is a privilege so it can be taken away from the recruits. just depends on the RDCs. yes you can mail to A school. they have an address to send it to and they will call their name over the loud speaker in the barracks to go get the mail. make sure if you send his lap top or anything you get insurance. my husbands electric razor got crushed in the mail. what is your B/f  job ?

[lynn]

Okay! Mail...I will send mail! it is on the website I am sure. Or I can just wait for his phone call and ask then. Perhaps he can call tomorrow, it is Sunday? I will keep my fingers crossed. He is in the A school in Monterey, California for linguistics! Is that what you mean by job? Sorry, working on all my terminology such as rank, rate, job, etc.....

thanks again! I cannot thank you enough! 

[UrabissWife]

there may be an address on the website, but who you post it will be different since it is going to a "student" and every barracks has a different address im not sure if they have that on the website. yeah that is what I meant by job aka rate ....  rank is like E-1 E-2 ect.  I think a linguistics would be such a fun job! if I joined I would defiantly shoot for that rate :)  You are very welcome. you can message me if you have any more questions or just need to talk . :)