MEPS today... BC tomorrow...

[Dawnette7]

To be honest, I had my first real cry last night. Not because I'll miss him, but because he's kinda being mean to his mom. I'm reading everyone's posts about how tender and loving and memory making everyone is and I am here just longing for a moment to hang on to for the next few months. He's spent the last three days with his best friends' family, barely acknowledges my preparations for him (the wallet, address/phone list, stamps, bandaids, farewell party, laundry, favorite foods) or my attempts at conversation about what he wants, what he thinks he needs, where he wants to go for dinner tonight. His girlfriend even told him last night, "Stop being mean to your mom!" While I get that he's "breaking away" and forging ahead, I can't help but be envious of all you who get those few precious moments with your babies before they go. Why do they stomp on the heart of the one who loves them the most on the way out the door? And, please... I've heard it all, even repeat it over and over to myself... "He's gonna come out a man on the other side; he's gonna be fine; let him go." Oh, don't get me wrong... I'm beyond proud of him. I come from military. I just wish he could realize how hurtful he's being on his quest to "do this myself."

[TX Trina]

IduGr8Hair My son has started being the same way (he leaves in July) - although it hurts me I know it's his way of 'cutting the cord'.  I think we forget in our own tears and worry that they too will worry about us since they won't be here to 'take care of mom'.  I'm sending prayers your way and please know your child is not the only one who is acting like that.  Good luck to you and sending you {{NMH}}!!

[PROUDMOMNJ]

I know EXACTLY how you feel IduGr8Hair!  My son did much the same.  He spent more time with his friends these last couple of months than he did with me and my husband.  Everytime I wanted to discuss anything about the Navy or this site he'd just tell me to relax and that he had it all worked out.  So I did just that.  He's an adult now so he'll figure it out some how. There were days I was so upset but didn't let him see how upset I was.  But I have to say we had a "breakthrough" last week.  He and I went to dinner and he was very receptive to everything I had to say.  So hopefully as the days get closer he'll realize that you're just doing your job - being a mom. 

[MomLovesRyan Ship 09 Div 266]

IduGr8Hair (you must be a hairdresser! LOL!) My son has been the same way, too. I try not to think about it. I think it's partly because it's easier for him that way to pull away. The separation may be harder on them than we realize. But, I also think (and was confirmed with his phone calls to me) that being away like this is making him realize how important I really am to him. He's never really seen what it's like to not have me there. I think that when all is said and done, we'll find that we'll get the respect, love, and value from them that we've always yearned for.

[imomxfour x 3 Sailors]

It broke my heart to read this...I am SO sorry your son is being such a butthead. :(  Obviously you know what's really going on here, so I won't say it again - I just wanted to offer you some support & some cyber (((HUGS))) from one mom to another. I have a feeling my youngest who is heading off to military school in a month will behave similarly - he's been our most *typical* teen so far, of our 4 children. He can be a horrible little BRAT to me at times. Drives me crazy and upsets me terribly, especially when I'm trying to just be nice or have a normal conversation with him, because I'm not used to it. Not that I haven't had to deal with some of those kinds of moments even with the older 3 - but this one just seems to ooze "teenage angst" EVERYDAY.

 

Hang in there mama, a respectful, caring young man will emerge again someday, just a little later on!!!

[MomLovesRyan Ship 09 Div 266]

Cupcake&BabyCakes - Beautifully said!

[luvmy3brats]

My son did it too! He couldn't wait to leave here. Being very rebellious and just breakng away! He is in A school now and has not been "home" since January 7th. All he talks about is coming home when he gets leave, how much he misses it here, and how much he misses us. Truth be told, when he DOES get home, we will most likely not see him either. :/ He will most likely spend time with his girlfriend or his friends. We shall see..But anyhow, don't worry mom, when he's gone, he WILL miss you and he will want to hear from YOU!! They always come back! ;) Hang in there!!

[Islandgirl49]

IduGr8Hair  My son too, although it has been going on since he was done with high school (2 years)  Very dismissive of me.  My older daughter was the same way but she would at least talk to me! He didn't.  He wouldn't tell us anything about joining until he was in.  it was very upsetting.  As I hugged him and told him I loved him the day he left I think he got it.  He has a close relationship with his dad, but the box came addressed to me, form letter too, I'm here call to my cell and 1st call to me too. With an I love you, twice!  As DANSMOMNJ said I just let him figure it out.  He will realize how lucky he is when he sees how others don't have what he has.  I think they think everyone has the same family as them.  My daughter got it when she went away too.

[jodia-Proud Mom Of A Sailor!]

Keep in mind that he is scared out of his wits, and this is the way it's coming out.  My thought is that they lash out at the one they love and trust the most.................Mom ALWAYS has your back and always forgives you.

Yeah, he'll come out a "man" on the other side, but you will always be mother and son. Perks and pitfalls!

My son deployed last September and the night before, we were walking around San Diego.  I couldn't say anything right, walk right, order the right food.  NOTHING I did was right; it just irritated him.   And let me tell you, I was in tears. But you know what?  When I  thought about it, I realized that he was scared.  It's hard to back off and let them be, but you just have to do that.

When the ship pulled in May 14th, I was on that pier.  I was the first one he called,. I was the first one he saw.  I was the first one he hugged (and gave a dozen roses to). 

He loves you, really, he does!  And he knows you love him, and always will. 

My guy has been in for almost 4 years, with 2 active and 2 reserve to go.  It's been a long and wonderful ride.

Stay connected with the other Moms on here!  I have made lifelong friends in our PIR group!  Most of our kids don't know each other, but we are sisters in this journey.

Good luck to all of you!

[imomxfour x 3 Sailors]

This made me cry!!!! Well said & a wonderful story to share!!!

[proudmom of PH]

I am sorry you are having to go through this. I bet it is easier on him to disconnect from you if he acts this way. I really believe he is having a harder time saying goodbye than he will admit to anyone, especially himself. If he distances himself, he doesn't have to deal witht it. As emotional as it is for us, it has to be emotional for them as well. Hang in there.

[radar granny]

Idugr8Hair:  Please be assured that he will come around.  Once he gets into BC, he will realize the support you give him, how much you love him, how much he counts on you, and all that you mean to him.  He will know how much he loves you and how much he appreciates you.  Please do not lose heart.  You are his comfy, soft place to fall, you are there, have always been there, always will be there and he may not see this until he has to do without you.  Who knows, perhaps it is his defense against the pain of leaving you.  Prayers go out to you!  

[Saratoga]

I have a feeling he knows all the things you have done for him, and the way you feel.  I believe he DOES appreciate you and all you have done for him.  Lots of guys are afraid that if they let their true feelings out, they might break down a little themselves, and being a guy, he is trying to be strong... and maybe just to be strong for you. Maybe he doesn't realize that it comes across as being cold.  Just keep on being strong and do things for him.  Cuz, that's what we do;)  I truly believe he will show his appreciation when you see him next.