My Son Is Leaving Soon 7/23/13

[Michelle_TJsMom]

Today has been so hard. I have tried to hide my feelings, but I can't stop the overwhelming feelings. My son decided a long time ago this was his career choice. I have store by him and provided support and encouragement. I truly do want him to be happy. But today, I can't stop the tears. I have one week left with him and I am trying to be strong. I keep thinking how much this will change our family. I worry about his younger siblings and how this will affect them. They are 8 and 9 years younger and love their big brother so much. I know I need to stay strong and refrain from crying especially when he leaves. But I do not know how I can prevent this. I feel like I am on an emotional roller coaster. What is the best way to get through this? How do you let them go? How do you say goodbye. The thought of no communication for 3 weeks is hard. One last question....how many weeks do you count out on the calendar to plan for graduation....I have heard various things. I was told 9 weeks (one week of processing and 8 weeks of actual boot camp. But I also heard 7 to 9. My husband has to plan
His vacation out as soon as possible to get approved. Thanks and I am so glad I found this forum because I need lots of support to get through this.

[ram33]

Hi Michelle,

I came across your post in my email today.  I remember those days, and how weepy I was through my son's boot camp days.  I lived for his letters and wrote one almost every day.  As you will see, the letters to home become more up beat as they acclimate to their environment and the roles they need to fulfill while in boot camp.

As a Mom, we never really learn to let go and maybe we don't have to.   This is just another experience in the lives of our children.  We need to embrace this along with them, and offer support when needed.

I found that being on this forum help me so much.  It was so comforting to know that there were tons of parents out there experiencing the same roller coaster emotions as me.  It is so informative, and help me plan for my trip for his graduation.  Which by the way is amazing, one that will make you so very proud of your child. 

My son marks his first year in the Navy.   He's a hospital corpsman and had both A and C school in San Antonio Texas(one whole year).  He became a certified surgical tech about two weeks ago.  He will be stationed in California for the next four years, and there he will go through field medicine training.  I share this with you to let you know how very fast the time goes by.  Hang in there, cry if you have to - it's ok... I did every time I saw his house keys.  Just don't forget and let everyone know that they are really happy tears. 

So here I am, one year later.  One year that my son has truly enjoyed and made wonderful friends that have become family.   So don't say goodbye, just say Hey see you soon!!!  because trust me - it will fly by!!!

p.s. My son is not a letter writer, but he wrote and I wrote and wrote and wrote.  He thought my letters were goofy, but he enjoyed getting them and reading every last one.  Although, I have no idea what he did with all my letters,, hmm...

 

Take care,

Adis

[Michelle_TJsMom]

Thank you Adis for the support.  The communication barrier is really going to be the hardest for me.  My son isn't much for writing either, well unless it is a text.  So to know he will write makes me feel good.  I will look forward to the first letter and the graduation letter for sure.  Congrats on your son's first year.  I know it will be no time and I will be there too.  I am going to keep thinking what you said....it's not good bye, it's see you soon. :)

[lemonelephant]

Join the group, DEP-Leavin for bootcamp in July. You will meet others with loved ones leaving the same day/week who may be in the same TG and have PIR together and conencting with them will help you to realize that you are not alone.

Be sure to check out the discussion, Things to Do in the Last Month Before Your Future Sailor Leaves for the RTC. Going through the info there with him will help you to feel that you are helping him prepare and may give you some control. Staying informed through the pages here and the groups will give you an idea of what will soon be happening and that may help. Writing a note before he leaves and having him write you one will help you to stay encouraged in the days and weeks before you have a "real" letter from each other. Writing to him each day will help you to feel connected to him and the encouragement for him will help him and may also rub off on you as you realize how proud you are of him.

Staying busy will help you to adjust to your new normal.

We raise our children to go out on their own and pursue their dreams and we must let them do that, but we can hold them in our hearts and prayers until we can hold them in our arms again. You are placing him in the best hands of all--those of God and the US Navy.

BC is 7 to 10 weeks, 8 1/2 weeks is average--1 week of Processing, 6 weeks of traiining and additional days in Hold and/or preparing for PIR.  By counting 9 Fridays, the most likely PIR date will be 09/20/2013, but since he is arriving on a Tuesday, it is also possible the PIR can be the week before, 09/13/2013, if he is one of the last to fill a division from the TG from the week before and is in a Push Division. He could also have PIR the week after, 09/27/2013, but that is less likely for one who is arriving at the beginning of the week than for one arriving later in the week. (See Arrival and What Happens at the RTC.)

[Michelle_TJsMom]

Thank you for sharing the July forum.  I will join that right away so perhaps I can meet people who have the same date as I do.  You are so correct.....we have always encouraged our kids to go out and pursue their dreams as well.  I knew this could include the possibility of them moving away one day.  But till that day comes, it was encouragement for them.  I never thought about the heart ache when the time actually came.  I agree that God and the Navy are the best hands to place him in. 

Also, thank you for giving me an estimate of the PIR date.  I was thinking 9/13 as well but my son thought it might be 9/20.  Of course, 9/20 would be an awesome birthday gift for my husband since his birthday is 9/19. Either way, we will happy to be a part of that great day in his life. :)

[lemonelephant]

You are very welcome.

[Nancytysmom]

Michelle
Yes this is the hardest thing to do as a mom! The anxiety before is hard and overwhelming! You will rely on this site a lot because what your feeling is what others are as well you are not alone. The only thing is to enjoy him right now and take it one day at a time. I am still new to this my Son left 7-3. But We are nearing the receiving letter phase do my excitement is building again.we looked forward to each step first the script call then the box then form letter now the call or letter. And each one got us a day closer.I will admit some days its overwhelming but the pride I have for him transforming into a proud sailor will be worth it! This site is a lifeline and is keeping me connected. You can get support 24 hrs if needed. Enjoy your time now!

[Michelle_TJsMom]

Thank you Nancy.  You are right....taking it one day at a time, one step at a time is the best way to get through.  I am so glad I found this site.  The support is much needed and helping to ease my heart some.  I hope you get the box very soon.  I know that is one step closer to the big day.  Best wishes!!!

[PaulaKylesMom (JapanNavyMom)]

Michelle,
I saw your email this morning and it brought back so many memories for me. The week before my son left was chaotic. My oldest son got married 3 days before Kyle left. At times I felt like I didn't get enough time with him. Boot camp will go faster than you may think. I wrote my son everyday from the day he left. Crying is so natural so cry if you need too. I tried to think about how proud he was to be in the navy and that did help some. What really helped was getting the letter about graduation. Scheduling our trip took a lot off my mind and helped time pass. Once our PIR group formed on here I got involved with all the other moms, met some in same division and we pulled each other through.

I agree with what lemonelephant said about how we raise our children to go out on their own ( that whole paragraph) I think she hit it right on you are placing him in the best hands- those of God and the US Navy!

My son graduated oct 18,2012.. He is now stationed in Japan. This is my new roller coaster!!! Thank goodness for technology or I'd go crazy!!
Hang in there Michelle. It will get better! This is great site for us. No stupid feelings here!

Paula

[Michelle_TJsMom]

Paula....your time sounds like mine.  I recently was promoted at work and the promotion required traveling out of state during the week for 6-8 weeks.  It started right after his high school graduation.  The promotion was a blessing, but it has limited time with Tyler.  Fortunately, I am home this week and next so I have this time with him.  While traveling did take my mind off it, now that I am home....it is hitting me hard.  I really try to stop crying but it just seems like everything brings tears to my eyes.  Today, I have spent some time looking at flights and things to do.  That helps me focus on the upcoming "happy day".  No matter the pain now, I am proud of him and what he is sitting out to do.

Japan....wow!  It seems like alot of new recruits are sent to Japan.  I know that will be another roller coaster like you said.  But you are so correct, technology is great.  God bless your son!

[PaulaKylesMom (JapanNavyMom)]

Michelle, everything still brings tears to my eyes. For example, I had to go do our car tags last week. The lady said there were a few vehicles that she needed to see if we still owned or not. Well Kyles car was one. As doom as she said do you still own the Honda civic, I burst into tears. He told us to sell it because his brother couldn't drive a stick shift. I lost it. Those lady's must have thought u was crazy. I of course had to explain myself and another agent burst into tears, came around and hugged me. She was a marine mom and her son is in Afghanistan. I felt like an idiot. But I know I'm not alone. My relationship with Kyle was close before he left for BC. BC and Japan have brought us even closer.

[marblette( Ship 13 Div 250)]

I have just gone thru PIR on July 3. I too have a younger son who is 11 years younger than his brother and it was hard when he first left on him. I just made sure he knew what was going to happen so he could get used to the idea that he would not be seeing or talking to him much while in BC. I did let him know we could write to him everyday and when he called us we could talk to him. He spent as much time as he could with him and we gave him a going away partt and I let him help plan it. He did adjust and we got thru it and you all will too. Follow what everyone on here has said because that is what got me thru along with my family and friends here too. Be prepared that not everyone around will understand how you feel but all of us here most definitely do. We are all either where you are or have been there. Keep your faith and know that God has him in his hands and that he is going ti be in a great group of men and women that will help him to become a great man and sailor!!

[Michelle_TJsMom]

This is exactly what we have done with our two younger boys...keep them very involved in this.  While right now they don't act like it is too hurtful, I know when they day comes and we have to say goodbye....their little hearts will break.  Maybe a going away party is what I need to let them plan.  There is still time.  Thank you for the support and the excellent idea. :)