Benefits of getting married

[bri-elizabeth]

Hello all! So my boyfriend of 3 years is int he home stretch of boot camp, but has a long road ahead of him in the Navy. I've been doing my best to stick by him and be supportive, but part of me feels like the benefits of being married overshadow the benefits of just being in a relationship. Are there many perks to it and is it a worthwhile process thats financially smart? Im new to all this, but this is just my gut feeling. Any advice? 

[Anti M]

There's a discussion on this in the older pages.  I'll hunt it up.

Financial... oh yes!  There is the terrific healthcare (dental and vision, more meh), there's the housing allowance which is sometimes almost as much as base pay, paid moves to where he is stationed, use of base facilities and programs, family separation pay when he is deployed, spouse scholarships, and even military discounts at some businesses.  If you have a child, he gets ten days paternity leave during that first year.  Married sailors can live in housing or offbase (with exceptions for schools), while single sailors cannot get money for private rentals until they hit E-5 (or E-4 after four years).  There a things like space available flights,but that's really a slim chance you might use one... but as a GF, you never would be eligible.

The bigger issue is access.  A spouse can go on and off base without an escort.  She can have access to him if he is sick or injured and in the base hospital.  The ombudsman and family readiness group will help her and keep in the loop for information and activities when he is deployed, while some are not eager to work with GFs.  If a spouse has problems with the sailor and support, she can turn to his command first (drastic example), while they'd not be willing to speak with a GF.  If the sailor receives overseas orders, a GF usually can't just pick up and move overseas, while a dependent spouse might be eligible to go too.  

I'm sure others can share more examples.

[UrabissWife]

Heyy! yes there are many perks to being married, I'd say being able to move with him would be the biggest one. But I wouldn't get married jus because of that or the money. (totally probably sounded mean but im not trying to be honestly)  marriage is something huge and you shouldn't jump into it unless you are both ready. it may be just a piece of paper but oh how it changes things. def. not trying to talk you out of getting married either, its something you and your sailor should really talk about. Its not easy being a navy wife :P  Gotta learn to fight for your marriage and pick your battles.
you will make the right choice :) just follow your heart. Anti M pretty much gave you all the benefits :P

[EmilyNicole98]

As already stated, there is a DRASTIC difference between being dating/engaged and married... you pretty much have no benefits whatsoever and very little access to them unless you're married. If you're planning on moving with him to his future duty station (providing it's not overseas), it would make sense to get married. If you're not going to move with him...well, a lot of the benefits would go unused, but it's hard to go through a deployment as anything other than a spouse. I had a hell of a time trying to take care of things back home as a fiancee without a power of attorney. Just make sure that you are both truly ready for the next step before you take it... being married and living together changes everything, and it is certainly not easy being a military spouse. I went through bootcamp, a-school, and a deployment all within the same year and as a girlfriend and then a fiancee...I thought I was completely prepared to get married and move to just outside base after his deployment, but I wasn't. There's a drastic difference between living on -or right off- base and living several states away. The entire nature of your relationship will change with marriage too, in ways you wouldn't expect. I would never change anything, but just make sure that you are fully ready for this life!

[TxNavyWife]

What everyone else is saying is about right. There are some major perks to being married. On that note, If you were already planning to get married, and just haven't done it yet. Do it as soon as you can. It is much much much easier to work with the Navy's hoops if you're married before he has orders for his first duty station. My husband and I got married shortly after he got orders to PCS to Italy. Now we have to jump through extra hoops to get me there with him since I wasn't on them. 

Marriage definitely isn't anything to take lightly though. Be sure that your relationship can last long distance, since you will more likely than not have at least a few months minimum that you won't be near each other.