Homecoming -- with no one there?

[Eryn]

Does anyone know what homecoming is like for a sailor if he/she doesn't have any family or friends there? I'm really worried about this!!! I won't be able to make it to WA for homecoming (from OH) and I know none of his family will either. I feel horrible. It's not that I don't want to go or that I wouldn't give up a lot to go, but for every day I miss of school I lose a letter off of my final grade and I have to get at least a C or I get kicked out of the program. He would KILL me if I missed school and had to take another year+ to graduate. My teachers don't care what the circumstance is and Saturday and Sunday just isn't long enough to fly out there, see him, and fly back. Plus the actual homecoming could be on a weekday. I've gone over it a ton and I just won't be able to make it work. His family isn't the type to fly across the country to see him, unfortunately. I don't know what to do. It breaks my heart thinking about him being all alone while he watches everyone else seeing their friends and family for the first time in months.

[UrabissWife]

im really sorry about all of this. is there any way to go above your teacher and get time off? just because that is the way your teacher is doesn't mean you can't go above them.  i would really look into talking to either a school counsler or the dean if possible.

[Eryn]

I am thinking about going to the dean, but it's not just one teacher unfortunately. That is the policy for the whole program in general :(

[chelsealoo]

I just wanted to let you know that, here at least, the FRG makes an effort to welcome home single sailors. I know its going to be hard but he will be happy to be home! Plus he'll most likely have at least a few days off to call/Skype.

[andrea d]

I agree with cupcake go to a hire up and make sure to explain the entire situation to them and the seriousness of the relationship and you will be amazed at how much it changes things. if nothing else see if they can let you make up the work when you get back.

If you cant work it out then maybe you can connect with her FRG and let them know so that someone is there to great him.

Good luck and keep your head up and think positive

[Anti M]

The Family Readiness Group and even the USO do a great job at welcoming them back into port.  Honestly though, the single guys who know there will be no one there to greet them are usually the guys who volunteer to stay on board and work/stand duty so the married guys, especially those with children, can get off the ship that day.  So if you aren't there, it may be an opportunity for him to help out a shipmate.    The ship still needs a portion of the crew to stay behind and take care of things.

That's why going to homecoming as a surprise is rarely a good idea, your sailor may have volunteered for duty and might not even be able to leave the ship! 

 

[Eryn]

Well at least he can help someone else out!

[beachmom76]

Hi Eryn,

There is usually a crowd of people who just welcome home anyone/everyone who steps off the ship.  There is always a group of Sailors who don't have family on the pier; they generally stick together and head off to indulge in whatever it is that they missed (a meal, an uninterrrupted nap, whatever! :-)) Another option may be for your Sailor to volunteer to take duty for someone who has family in town. This gives him someone who is grateful for the offer as well as allows him to avoid the big Homecoming crush.

The two of you will celebrate your own Homecoming whenever you are able to get together and it will be wonderful!

[Eryn]

Thank you :) We will have a great time! Plus at least he already knows we won't be able to make it, so maybe he will volunteer.

[Fur&FeathersDVM]

Some schools will not budge. While I was a veterinary student at Ohio State, I was unable to miss class during my first year to attend my husband's first homecoming because of the nature of the class and its proximity to finals. Since he wasn't going to have anyone on the pier, he volunteered to take duty the day they pulled in for someone who's girlfriend could only be there for two days, and in exchange got some extra time off later when I was done with finals and was able to come down for a visit. I understand that feeling of wanting to go so badly but not being able to!!I I promise you, as wonderful as homecomings are (I was thankfully able to be there for his next one!), in the long run, it will be okay that you weren't there and is certainly not worth you getting kicked out of your academic program. There will be other sailors there without someone. While it is hard, my husband was very adamant that my education was a priority and it sounds like your sailor feels the same way. Definitely contact the FRG to see if they will be doing something for sailors without someone. I was able to send my husband a welcome home package to our apartment where he was stationed, but if this isn't an option for you, you can send a card/welcome home gift to someone in the FRG or an ombudsman to give him at homecoming so he knows you are thinking of him. Honestly, my husband said he thought it was harder on me than him because months later, I was still apologizing for missing it, whereas the day of it his thoughts were "Wow, I wish she was here, but hey, now I can call her- and then I can finally go take a nap." And then he didn't really think much else of it! He did mention at my graduation several years later that seeing me become a veterinarian was absolutely worth one missed homecoming.  :)

[Anti M]

Navyprincess... you rock!  That was a most excellent explanation.  

[Fur&FeathersDVM]

Looks like several of us had similar responses at the same time! Great minds think alike ;)  Eryn, hopefully all of these great responses make you feel a little better. His shipmates will make sure he is taken care of and gets to enjoy being back just like all the great ladies on this site are here to support you through it! :)

[Eryn]

Oh my gosh!! Thank you so much!!! I would have never thought of sending him something for someone to give him that day. That's a great idea. It's really nice hearing your husband wasn't too upset over it. That's really the biggest thing I'm afraid of is him feeling like he's the only one alone and being really upset about it. Yes, my schooling is very important to him so he would not be happy if I got in trouble for missing school!