Navy Girlfriend

[whardy]

Hi, my name is Whitney.. I am a sailor's girlfriend.. I am kinda clueless of the navy.. I was wondering the benefits if me and my sailor get's married after I am out of high school?.. I love my sailor and wanna spend the rest of my life with him.. I'm only 16 he is 18.. I'm kind of young to be in a serious relationship some people say! But if you love that person so much you will go through Hell and back for that person.. I was also wondering does he get his phone back after PIR is over with.??And can he have it all the time at A shcool??

[Dina0106]

Well he can't have his phone all the time in A-school, in fact my husband wasn't even allowed to have his cellphone on him at all during the day. Only when he got back to his barracks for lunch or after the whole day was over with was the only time he was on his phone. It's not really a whole free experience for them, they are still restricted. 

If you get married  the benefits are always well the BAH, healthcare, you get recognized by the Navy, and you get to be with him where ever he goes.

[whardy]

Awesome! Thanks so much for the info... I'm actually excited to see where our future together leads(:

[TxNavyWife]

The BAH and healthcare are correct, but I just want to clarify that you can go ALMOST wherever he goes. Chances are high since it's the Navy that he will have a couple sea tours which means out on a boat for an extended length of time. 

Currently my husband has been in Italy without me for the past 4 months due to a medical issue. 

whardy, there are a lot of good things that that can come with relationships in the military, but there are also a lot of things that are hard to overcome. You will have to get used to being away for periods of time, and be able to trust and support each other through those times of separation. It's also incredibly important to understand that while he is under contract he has very little say about his life. Dumb things that are not in his control will happen and they won't be fun to deal with , but that's that.  It's not an easy thing to do, but if the relationship is right and functions well then the time you do get to spend together will be well worth it. 

[andrea d]

Hi Whitney,

I don't know anything about the schools and the phone rules. But I can say this. You are very young and he is very young. If you two love each other that deeply then it will last whether you get married when your out of school or if you wait. Don't get married for benefits. Talk it through with him. There are good benefits to being married, there are better benefits to getting married for the right reasons.

Congrats and good luck. Stand by your man and be proud of your sailor 

[whardy]

Yes mam! I am young but as people say if you truely love that person you will do and go through anything with him!!;) Thanks for the encouragement(;

[Mimi]

Hi Whitney,

I too I'm a sailor's girlfriend and I usually come on here to stay encouraged. Not been able to encourage others till I saw your post and for some reason it touched somewhere deep in my heart. Just like Andrea d said you are both pretty young and have a life time ahead to make plans and prepare yourselves for what the navy life is about. I honestly know what it means to love someone very deeply and I'm sure you both do and would jump at the chance to spend the rest of your lives with each other. Just make sure you both talk it through and get married for all the right reasons. It is one thing to get married and it is another to stay married. Talk about your goals, your plans, your vision and your future together....which I hope you guys are both doing. I'm not in anyway against you both getting married but let it be for all the right reasons and not just what you are both getting from your sailor being in the navy; which is definitely wonderful.

My sailor was able to have his phone and laptop after his PIR was over with but we didn't really get to talk as much because of our different schedules and the fact that he couldn't be on his phone all the time but it still helped hearing his voice from time to time.

I believe you'd be fine and I hope you get as much information as you can. Stay encouraged, stay supportive, stay strong and always know that you are not alone! God bless!!!

[whardy]

Awe Thanks @ mimi that encourages me alot !!;) I try to not let it get to me with him being gone but sometimes it gets hard... I always say to myself he is doing something he loves and he is doing it to better our future together(; that right there is what keeps me going everyday(;

[Eryn]

Benefits: he will receive a housing allowance, you are recognized as his family by the Navy, if you are married before he gets orders the Navy will pay for the move, you'll get health insurance but your parents can carry you until your 25 (or is it 27 now?). But do the benefits really matter? I personally don't think they should have even the slightest part in the decision to get married and spend the rest of your lives loving each other and working on keeping your relationship. Marriage isn't easy. Then add financial stress. Then add in the ways people change as they grow up. Add in your/his goals and wants for the future. Do they match? Do either/both of you know how to budget, how to take care of a house, how to live on your own?

I'm all for young marriage and getting to spend your whole lives enjoying being with each other! I'm getting married next summer and I'll only be 20... But I only support it when the couple can be mature about it and think things through. I also think that you should have a decent paying reliable job before getting married, but if you want to do it before you graduate college that's a personal choice. I don't mean any of this in a bad way, I just feel like couples should give themselves the best chance at making together and having a good life. 

[whardy]

@Eryn thank you I agree totally with what you have said Thanks so much(;

[Jess' Wife]

Whitney, my sailor husband and I met at 15 and have been married since 2002 (11 years- we are both 31), we got married young, very young. I understand your question/statement about benefits is not meant in a way that was to insinuate that you were getting married FOR benefits... From a momma of two and a wife of a sailor and someone who got married young like you are talking about here is some friendly advice/suggestions.... Everyone knows that married military personnel (all branches) receive more in "benefits" than the single guys/girls ie bah bas sep pay insurance relocation costs etc... I would suggest that you guys look at the "benefits" of in two years when you graduate or in six or seven when you are done with school yourself etc (if that is the route you are planning on) me personally I was in college when God blessed us with two little beautiful back to back birth control babies! :-) my "plans" had to change drastically. I eventually got to go back and finish that lovely university of Texas degree (hook 'em horns) but it was a struggle and our children survived but it would have been "easier" if we had waited... But I would not have our two wonderful kiddos now eight and nine! So that is one side what are your plans and goals... Then there us the other side can you wait that long??? I suggest making a list of pros and cons for both choices and add to it and take away from it over the next two years while you finish hs and let that help to guide you somewhat in your decision... But most of all best of luck to you both Navy life/separation can be tough but with communication/love/prayer it can be done! :-)

[whardy]

Awe Thanks @Jess's Wife I appreciate your words of encouragement God, family and friendsis has helped but most importantly My sailor said he is doing this to better our future together and our future families(; I'm excited to see what our lives together have in store for us and what God has in store also(; It's been hard but knowing he is doing sonething he loves and he is doing it for us also is what keeps me going every day!!;)

[SaltySailorIAmNot]

Hello!
I'm new to this whole navy lifestyle as well, and I've been having the hardest time getting ahold of information, but I did find a TON of answers in a book, Married to the Military. It's a summery of life, benifets, marriage, etc written by women who are living it. It's helped me out and answered a lot of my questions! Totally worth checking out I think!!
Best of luck!