How much communication to expect?

[siren87]

My sailor is in power school. I am not his MOM (this is an after edit because some responses thought I was :) ) We are dating/seeing if we can work thru his Navy commitments and my university classes.Sometimes we go a full day without texting/communicating at all. I don't want to be a bother, but I'd love to at least get a good night from him. I'd like any advice from some moms/wives/girlfriends on how much communication to expect or ask for because I certainly don't want to add any more stress on him.

Thank you, happy day to all <3

[motherofasailor]

Hum, I think once a day and a good night is unreasonable. The stress of power school was overwhelming for my sailor. He made it through, but studied endlessly. I sent him an encouraging card everyday. And spoke with him, at most, twice a week.It all depends on your son and your relationship. I would ask him the question you have possed here and see what he thinks.

[siren87]

Thank you motherofasailor, I appreciate the feedback. I guess I should have added he's not my son, we went to school together & are friends/dating.

[motherofasailor]

HAHA, Different story!!!! I would still ask him what he is comfortable with. Women always want more communication than men, no matter what the relationship

[siren87]

Yes I just went to visit him this past weekend and haven't heard from him since :/ except when I messaged him thanking him for everything, he did respond - but nothing since. Maybe he's not into me. Texting/Skype aren't the same as being together in person.

[motherofasailor]

There is a facebook page for wives and girlfriends of sailors. My son's girlfriend is active there. She has been faithful for over 2 years. I haven't really talked to her about what she gets from the sight, but I am on the Navy mpom fb and it helps

 

[Binker & Bro: 2X Nuke Mom]

Honestly, it depends on your kiddo but experience throughout the entire process including a 9 month deployment and post deployment is they break away from mom and want to start living their own lives. More than one Stennis mom has talked about this. Power School is incredibly difficult and time consuming, especially if they are on mandatory study hours. Prototype gets even worse. Don't take it personally. Cell `reception is bad in the barracks and they cannot take phones with them into the school. It's not easy but its reality.

Ooops just saw the above! Although a lot of the above still applies. When my boy was in the Persian Gulf he told me he hadn't even realized he hadn't called in three months because he had been so busy. Nukes truly never see the light of day. That's why they advance so fast and get the bonuses they do. You would be amazed at the number of Bink's buddies who turned down 75k because they were so tired of the overwork and under recognition. Look and see if Emily--Aaron's Girl is still in the Nuke group. I know she is on the Stennis group. She dated Aaron during the entire time of school and they got married a year ago. She is a wonderful help for many of the girlfriends trying to navigate the Nuke pipeline.

hugs

 

[bethr311]

As a mom, we found a weekly family call worked well. If you're a wife/girlfriend I'm sure you'll want more than that. But ask him what works for him.

[chelc33]

My son just graduated power school.  We'd often go days without communicating.  I believe they're told to separate themselves from the "outside world" to focus on studying.  I'd send a text just to see if he was still alive, at least.  I was grateful to hear from him, no matter how limited and brief.

[Frances5901]

When my son was in Power school I was happy to hear from him once a week. Granted I was a mom.

Power school is pretty intense and my son graduated High School with a 4.5 and he was going into his third year in college, majoring in nuclear engineering,  when he joined the Navy. Power School can make or break you. Just support him the best way you can even if that means leaving messages on his phone but not asking him to respond because he may just be too busy.

 

Remember he still loves you, misses you and needs you. He just wants to get through this.

[B'sNukeMoM⚓️MMN(Vet)]

Hi siren - I pretty much agree with everyone on here (I'm a mom too).  My son is in power school with just under 8 weeks left.  I will send him texts during the week - just a "Hi, thinking of you" or "good luck on your test today".  Nothing where I expect a response - just letting him know I am thinking of him.  On test days he always texts us as soon as he knows his score and then I will give a quick response (hubby gets the same text too and sometimes even his GMA gets a text!)  That's about it during the week.  We always talk on Sunday - usually late afternoon/early evening our time (he is 3 hours ahead) and that call is usually about an hour.  We so look forward to that call!  We know that he is busy and doesn't have time to communicate - studying is his main focus right now and we are good with that.  I would say keep sending encouraging little texts but don't expect a response - just be supportive and don't take it personally if he doesn't respond!  At some point in your relationship the two of you should have a discussion about this so there are no hurt feelings.  Hang in there!

[Penny_Nuke_MM2_NimitzNuke]

Now that I realize that your sailor and you are dating, I will share with you about my sailor and his GF.  They met before bootcamp and were just plain in love with each other.  Sailed thru BC and she wrote enough letters to make his head spin and he loved it.  He went on to A-school and they spoke every night either by phone, text, or Skype - typically Skype.  He came home after A-school and the love was still shining.  Then came Power School and the classes became more dififcult and required more late night studying but by then she had already come to depend on the daily communication, then it went to every other day.  Their talks ended up more about her day and less about his as they were all the same.  Then he started feeling the pressure of meeting her communication needs and he just couldn't keep up and caused more stress than pleasure.  After 11 months of dating they went their separate ways.

[CO-TwinSalorsMom]

I here from mine about once a week and then about every other week I get a long phone call from one or a hours long FB messaging with the other. I know they are busy and thinking back I did not call my mom everyday when I moved out.