Newly Married and seeking ANY and ALL advice!!!

[Jessica__S514]

As my title states, my husband and I are newly married. He is currently in A School at P-cola and will be done classes in about 7 to 8 weeks. Tomorrow he is submitting our certified marriage certificate to start the process of updating his information so our daughter and I will be now included on his paperwork etc.

However I am so new to this I am scared I am going to be more unprepared than I think. I have read endless articles, websites, etc regarding what to do once you are married as far as forms and so forth. I just feel like reading vs. speaking to someone who went through the same thing first hand is a lot different.

I want to be prepared with the necessities so everything can go smoothly and all aspects completely covered.

I also would love to hear from anyone on life once A school has ended. I have so many questions about the first place we are stationed. Do we go with him right when he is done A school? Do we wait? Etc etc.

If there is anyone that has gone through updating dependents/marital status while husband was in A school or simply just updating to married status, I'd appreciate any help you could offer.

Any and all words are great. You can comment or private message me, etc. What ever works is more than awesome and helpful to me,

Thanks again so much in advance :)

[Anti M]

I'll start with things you can do right now.

The very first thing you will do is get your ID card.  He will send you a signed form you take to the nearest facility, doesn't need to be Navy.  You find it by using the RAPIDS locator. You will need ID and your SSN card, so be sure you have those.  The ID card will act as your insurance card for Tricare.  

I take it he doesn't have orders yet?  That's good.  If he does not, you and your daughter will have your travel paid to go where he goes (in most cases).  Yes, most of the time the Navy prefers you travel "concurrently" with him to the new duty station.  He should receive DLA (dislocation) for the move, which covers a stay in a motel or Navy Lodge when you first arrive at his duty station.  

If it is in the US, the Navy won't ship your car there, so be prepared for a long drive if you want it. So get the car ready, have it checked by a mechanic, be sure the tires and brakes are good.  If he has any leave left, he can combine that with his travel days and be able to drive with you.

Prepare a file folder to hand carry your papers.  Marriage certificate copies, birth certificates,  banking info, anything which is important and you may need access to right away.  Get it organized and portable.

Decide whether you want a PPM (personally procured move) where you rent a truck or just jam everything into your car/trailer, or whether you want a packout (contractors working with the Navy).  Your husband can help arrange either, there's paperwork involved either way.  I always had a packout, mostly because I was overseas a lot.  The convenient part about that is they do all the packing, it is insured, and they store it for a while until you're ready to unpack, then take away the boxes.

In the meantime, start sorting all you stuff.  You don't have to pack, but begin to toss old things, give away or sell other stuff, and get rid of trash and clutter.  You don't have to be spotless for a packout, but they won't pack a mess. Decide what must go with you, and what can be packed.  If you do get packers, be sure your stuff you want to hand carry (purse, papers, jewelry, electronics and luggage) is locked in another room or car.  They pack freaking everything if you are prepared.  Yes, I've known someone who had her purse packed out.

If you have pets, get them ready too, vaccinations and paperwork, get them chipped.

This is when you start to think about whether you want housing or a rental.  I know you don;t know the area, but you can begin compiling ideas and housing/rental links.

[Jessica__S514]

Thank you very much. Your information has been more than helpful!

To touch on one thing though, I was under the impression that there was some kind of reimbursement or something for moving our vehicle. Is there really no financial help with transporting our car?

Also, are you aware or have any idea how much notice they give. For instance, does he get his orders say a week before he has to move? I am just trying to gauge a time frame so I can try and prepare ( I know that isnt the best word to use in the military since everything changes so frequently lol) I just have to inform schools, work etc and I want to get an idea on how fast we will move and when we will possibly find out where and when we are moving/stationed.

Thank you so much!

[Angie]

Not sure what you mean by transporting your car, you will be driving it.  The Navy does not pay nor reimburse if you transport your vehicle.  Even if you have two cars the Navy will assume you will be driving them both.  They do pay a certain amount for gas, if that is what you are talking about.  Also keep in mind the DLA must be asked for, and it only covers a few days in a hotel (and not the full amount either).  He will be able to apply for base housing to where ever he gets orders to...BUT many times there is a waiting list to get into base housing so you may need to get a place out in town.

Regarding how long he has to between orders and when he transfers...he could get his orders one day leave the command the next, go home on two weeks leave and then have to report to his first duty station.   Or he could get his orders, be on hold at the school for a month or more and than leave to go home on leave, than report to his duty station.  No one knows tell he gets his orders and what they say.

[Jessica__S514]

Yes I did mean for gas. Thank you very much!

I guess a more specific question I have is once he has his orders, do us as dependents have to move right away as well or do they allow a time period for us to prepare, pack, find a place to rent etc? I just don't want there to be only a certain amount of time after his orders that our move is funded for. 

[Anti M]

Usually they get their orders around four weeks in advance.  Usually, not always.  That's why you go ahead and prepare as much as possible.  Don't panic, ride the flow, be prepared, plan for the worst, hope for the best.

Welcome to the wonderful world of Navy spousedom.

[Jessica__S514]

I've always been someone to prepare but get  a bit OCD. This change in lifestyle is teaching me a lot and making me a lot better with wanting to control things lol. I know nothing is ever for certain so as you said I'm preparing what I can, hoping for the best but ready for the worst. Thank you for all of your advice!!

[Anti M]

You will learn so much about flexibility, you'll think you're doing yoga daily!

[Jessica21:)]

Your answer to her questions so helped me also. Because we just got married in December. I am so happy to have found this.

[Jessica21:)]

Jessica I can't seem to add you for some reason. I would really to just talk to you since we are like in almost the same situation. :)

[flowers]

YES - this information has been so helpful!!!  I I just got married as well, Jessica21 - I tried adding you as a friend!  One thing I'm trying to figure out is TRICARE...  I know we need DEERS and ID card first.  Has anyone experienced it being difficult to find a dr. and specialty dr. using TRICARE dr.'s on base?