HELP! Getting Married The Weekend Of PIR

[brits_hiswife]

Hey guys I have a few questions, hoping you guys can provide some answers. My fiance is currently in bootcamp. His graduation is Friday June 6th. We planned before he left to have our wedding ceremony that weekend as well. I need to confirm a few things ive heard. 1. Is it against the rules to get married the weekend of PIR? 2. If the sailor is from illinois can he go home even if its a little more than 50 miles from Great Lakes? 3. My fiance will be on hold 9 days before he goes to A School in Virginia, will he have liberty while on hold?

If you have any answers or any additional  information that will help me I will greatly appreciate it.

Thanks

[EmilyNicole98]

Honesty is definitely appreciated, even if it takes people quite a while to realize it! This is the best place to get the truth, even though the truth isn't usually welcomed. When I first arrived here as a girlfriend two years ago, it used to irritate me SO much to get the harsher reality check answers rather than the answers I was hoping to hear. Quite a few helpful comments made me mad at the time of receiving them, but looking back I have a completely different view of them. We had no idea about anything and needed to be informed of the reality and the worst case scenarios rather than hearing lies that things would work out just fine! Pretending that this life is something different than it is doesn't do anyone much good for long!

I definitely have found that A-school is the true test for relationships. I've heard of a few breaking up before that point, but ironically most of said couples broke up at graduation instead of the weeks prior during bootcamp. A-school is a lot harder because there's an expectation of things going to back to being much the same as far as communication levels go, and that's just not the reality that ends up taking place. It's a huge adjustment and kind of feels like a slap in the face, especially to the couples who went in being a little overly optimistic. Almost every friend I made during the bootcamp phase became single during A-school. For us, school was much much worse than deployment even though it only lasted 5 weeks!

[brits_hiswife]

Thanks. That was insightful. We were engaged, living together with our now 10 month old son before he went into boot camp, but i understand what the navy is trying to prevent. Is there an actual order that the sailor receives that say DON'T GET MARRIED THIS WEEKEND or is it just frowned upon?

[Anti M]

They advise them not to do so... I do not know how it is worded.  That matters.   They can get in trouble for disobeying the liberty rules, not for the marriage itself.  A subtle distinction.

However, you two have a child, so it is not likely anyone would make him the example.  You could hustle over to Lake County on Friday, get the license, them marry on Saturday morning (make an appointment now, if possible).  There is a one day wait which is not waived.  

If he is a saturday departure, then this will not work because he must use the Navy provided transportation to the airport and cannot deviate from that.  Unless you can get a JoP to go to the airport too.  I hope the RDC is correct about the hold time, then you can get it done.  Good luck, and do share your experiences of how it goes, you can really help other ladies later.

Now I'm mad at his recruiter... they never want to do the paperwork so tell the guys to wait, when waiting is not easier at all.  Dang recruiters.

[Fur&FeathersDVM]

Whether your fiancé is a typical Saturday departure or is on hold like his RDC is predicting, he will still fall under RTC liberty policy.  Sailors who are on hold for an A school that isn’t at Great Lakes are kept at RTC in the temporary holding unit, or THU. It isn’t terribly uncommon for sailors to know ahead of time that they will be on hold, usually due to a medical or legal issue, so it’s possible that your fiance’s RDC is correct in predicting his hold. My husband is on staff at boot camp and does Liberty Briefs for graduating recruits. The current RTC liberty policy that my husband briefs graduating recruits on every week is that marriages are not allowed on PIR weekend. After hearing the brief, the graduating recruits then sign a form (a page 13) stating they will abide by the liberty policy.  Choosing to go ahead and get married anyway is a violation of a lawful order, as per Article 92 of the Uniform Code of Military Justice.  The fact that you have a child will not keep them from processing your fiancé for a violation of a lawful order. However, in order to make sure your fiancé has the most up to date information as policies can change and to get an official answer (because my advice on here, or anyone else's, is by no means an official answer!) he may want to ask to speak to his chaplain for further guidance.  Just keep in mind that without a written chit from the appropriate authority, someone telling him it’s okay to get married doesn’t mean anything, especially if his ship's officer specifically states in his liberty brief that they are not to get married.

While I certainly feel for you, and can understand why you want to hurry up and get married, this has the potential for serious consequences for your fiancé. I would urge you to wait until your fiancé can get an approved marriage chit.  My personal opinion is that it isn’t worth the risk, but you and your fiancé will have to decide for yourselves what to do. 

[Lizzie_Corpsmanwife]

Anti M:

Oh my gosh I really love what you said because my husband is in A school right now and he told me the exact same thing you said on here.  Better to be honest here than not know the truth.  My husband and I are 28 and 26, older peeps here, and said that many of the people in A school do run free and they should actually wait until after a deployment because most decisions are made emotionally.  

Now Britholmes you have a child so girl getting married is the best thing for you and that baby.  They get talked to a few days before PIR and get told to NOT get married, according to my husband.  That's all the information I have, and my husband graduated 4/25.

[Angie]

fyi...odds are he will NOT be on hold for 9 days, they ship them out the day after PIR if they are going to school out of state, they need to get them off the base to make room for new recruits.  Your recruit will get his orders a few days before his PIR.  

Also as everyone else said, it is not just a we do not want you to get married PIR weekend, it is againts the UCMJ...as they where told not to do it.  If they do something they are told not to do (and sign paper work stating they understand what they where told) they can get in a lot of trouble, like loose their school, loose money, and be put on restriction (meaning do not leave base and no guests and than some)  Same applies to he 50 miles away from the base

[brits_hiswife]

THANK YOU ALL FOR THE ADVICE AND GIVING ME THE TRUTH. He has gotten approval to get married this weekend. So in about 2 weeks I will be marrying the love of my life! Im excited and I appreciate the help!

[Anti M]

Congratulations.

[brits_hiswife]

Thanks.

[JessicaJ81]

Do you know how he got approval?  My fiance and I are planning to get married the weekend of his PIR 06/27 and I did not realize that it would be an issue.  Any help would be appreciated, thank you!!

[brits_hiswife]

I believe he just asked his RDC

[Anti M]

See, this is what matters...  the RDC is a fairly low guy on the chain of command, with no authority to fully approve a marriage chit.   Anything verbal will not cover your sailor's ass if he is challenged at to why he disobeyed the liberty rules.  

Most importantly, it is important to realize that Great Lakes boot camp and Great Lakes A school are two different commands.  If your sailor is staying at Great Lakes for A school... once he checks into the school on Friday after PIR he belongs to TSC, the training side at that moment.  Anything the RDC says means zip from that point..  The TSC has strict marriage guidelines, including a request chit, and the counseling requirement.

But no one seems to believe me....  I do wish you all well and the best of luck.